Read John 15:1–17 (NKJV)
Have you ever tried assembling IKEA furniture without looking at the instruction manual? You look at the picture on the box, think, “I’ve got this,” and start piecing it together. But a few screws later, you realize something’s off. You step back, and the table you thought was perfect is wobbling, uneven, and just wrong. And worst of all — you have pieces left over!
Relationships often feel the same. We think we can navigate them through instinct, advice from friends, social media tips, or even past experience. But when conflict arises or things get shaky, we realize — maybe we’ve missed some critical instructions. Why? Because we weren’t designed to lead our relationships alone. God wants to lead our relationships — starting with our relationship with Jesus.
In John 15, Jesus gives us a powerful picture of what it means to depend on Him especially in the context of relationships. This passage isn’t just about staying spiritually connected — it’s about how staying connected to Jesus transforms the way we love, forgive, serve, and relate to one another.
Let’s explore three key truths from John 15:1–17 to understand how to trust God in our relationships — and how to let Him take the lead.
I. ABIDE IN CHRIST: RELATIONSHIPS FLOURISH WHEN ROOTED IN JESUS
John 15:1 NKJV
Verse 1 – “I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser.”
Jesus uses a beautiful and intentional metaphor. He calls Himself the “true vine” — the source of life, nourishment, and sustenance. The branches? You and me. The vinedresser is God the Father — ever tending, pruning, and cultivating good fruit in us.
This kind of imagery is central to understanding relationships. Think of it: A branch disconnected from the vine withers. Without nourishment from the source, it becomes brittle and fruitless. The same is true of relationships that are disconnected from Christ. (Break a dried branch in front of the people)
Verse 4 – “Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself… neither can you, unless you abide in Me.”
We don’t just visit Jesus on Sundays. We make our home in Him. To “abide” means to remain, to dwell, to linger — not to occasionally visit.
Try forgiving someone without abiding in Jesus, and you might forgive them once, maybe twice. But abide in Jesus, and His Spirit produces fruit like patience, kindness, and long-suffering (Galatians 5:22–23).
Eph 4:32 NKJV
And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.
Verse 5 – “Without Me you can do nothing.”
That’s a bold claim. Not “a few things,” but nothing. Zero spiritual fruit is possible apart from Jesus. Your romantic, family, or friendship connections may function apart from Christ — but they will never truly flourish. It is Christ who causes fruit to grow.
(v8) “By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples.”
God delights when your relationships bear fruit — not just success or happiness — but love, service, patience, joy, and peace. That fruit displays His character to the world.
Application:
– Is Christ the foundation of your relationships?
– Are you spending consistent, abiding time with Him?
– Before you reach for your phone to text, swipe, or respond — have you reached for Jesus lately?
Abiding isn’t passive — it’s proximity. That daily connection with Jesus isn’t just for spiritual growth; it’s the power center for relational health.
II. WALK IN OBEDIENCE: LET GOD’S LOVE DIRECT YOUR RELATIONSHIPS
John 15:9 NKJV
“As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love.”
Jesus invites us deeper. Don’t just abide in Him — abide in His love. The same eternal love that the Father has for the Son is now offered to us. This is unchanging, secure, divine love.
But how do we abide in that love?
(v10) “If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love…”
Obedience is not a burden — it’s the posture of those who trust God. Obedience keeps us aligned with His love. Think of a parent giving safety instructions to their child — Obedience is not restriction, it’s protection.
(v12) “This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.”
Jesus raises the standard. “Love one another,” yes — but not just any way. “As I have loved you.”
How did Jesus love?
– He sacrificed.
– He forgave.
– He got low and washed feet.
– He called out truth — in love.
This kind of love isn’t mood-based. It’s obedience-based.
(v13) “Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.”
Jesus showed us the highest expression of love — sacrificial love. And what’s remarkable is that He modeled this love before we deserved it (Romans 5:8).
Romans 5:8 NKJV
But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
A couple once came to counseling, bitter and ready to break up. “I just don’t love her anymore,” the husband said. The counselor said, “Then love her.” He was confused, and replied, “But I don’t feel anything!” The counselor said, “Who said love was a feeling? It’s a command. Start serving her, praying for her, communicating with her. Obey Jesus — and let the feelings follow.”
Weeks later, their marriage began to heal — not because of emotion, but because of obedience.
Application:
– Who are you struggling to love right now?
– Who are you waiting to change before you act in love?
– Are you obeying Jesus’ commandment or living off convenience?
Obedience leads to freedom. Why? Because God’s commands aren’t chains — they’re train tracks. They get you moving in the right direction.
III. FRIENDSHIP WITH JESUS: THE RELATIONAL MODEL FOR ALL OTHERS
John 15:15 NKJV
“No longer do I call you servants… but I have called you friends.”
Stop and let that sink in. The God of heaven — the Holy One, Ruler, Creator — calls you friend. Not simply followers. Not just disciples. Friends. This is relationship, access, intimacy, and delight.
This transforms how we approach relationships:
– We don’t need to chase approval when we are already accepted by Jesus.
– We aren’t starved for validation when we are loved as friends of Christ.
– We aren’t slaves to past rejection when we are called friends by the One who never fails.
(v16) “You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit…”
Even more — we were chosen. His love was not reactive; it was sovereign — initiated by Him. That’s the love you can build your friendships and marriage on.
Friendship with Jesus re-centers how we approach others. We no longer relate from a place of scarcity — but security.
(v17) “These things I command you, that you love one another.”
He circles back again. Love. Always love. Because when He leads, this becomes our lifestyle.
Joke: One little boy said to his friend, “I love you just like Jesus said.” His buddy replied, “Thanks! Wait — does that mean you’re gonna die for me?” He said, “No, but I’ll let you have my last slice of pizza!” Real friendships cost something, but they’re worth it.
Application:
– Trust God’s friendship as your anchor.
– Let Jesus’ love quiet your fear of rejection.
– Let your identity as His friend shape every other relationship you have.
Let’s revisit verse 11 again.
(V11) “These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full.”
Joy. That’s the outcome of abiding, obeying, and trusting in His love.
We don’t need to lead our relationships blindly, painfully, or selfishly. We have a God who gives us instruction, walks with us, and shapes us into people who live — and love — like Jesus.
Recap/Call To Action:
- Abide in Christ — because He is the source of all fruitfulness. Abide – Don’t try to love others without Jesus. Start your day abiding in Him, listening to His Word, surrendering your strengths and struggles.
- Walk in obedience — because love isn’t a feeling, it’s a command. Make the hard choice to love even when it’s inconvenient or undeserved. Sacrifice your comfort to love someone for the sake of Christ.
- Embrace friendship with Jesus — because He sets the standard for all other relationships. When you live from the acceptance of Jesus’ friendship, you can love from victory instead of for validation.
God wants to lead your relationships — not just repair them, but rewire them. Let the true Vine be your first and forever connection.
Kindly bow your heads and close your eyes.
Maybe you have never asked Jesus in your heart as Lord and Savior. He is the best relationship you could ever have. If that is you and you want Him as a friend, raise your hand. We need Him in our lives. There is no one like Him. He can be your best friend if you ask Him to be.
Closing Prayer:
Repeat after me: Lord Jesus, I ask you to come into my life. Be Lord of my life. Please be my best friend. Thank you for your forgiveness. Thank you for being my Savior.
Father, thank You for being the Vinedresser who never gives up on us. Jesus, help us abide in You — moment by moment. Teach us to obey You, even when it hurts. Thank You for calling us Your friends. May our relationships bear much fruit and bring You honor. In Your name we pray, amen.
Your Sister In Christ,
Pastor Kris Belfils

The Pledge of Allegiance:
My heart and prayer for all of my Christian life is that God would bring a revival fire to Spokane and the world and ignite and transform people! That they wouldn’t live less then what they were created to live. I have been on staff at various churches in Washington State and all of them my heart burned for God to move on the hearts of the people to awaken them and put a fire in their bellies. I have traveled to Africa, Panama, Germany, Finland, Holland, Sweden, Canada, England, Amsterdam (Netherlands), and all over the United States with this message. Why would I do that? Because God has so transformed me and my life I just have to tell others so they can experience His love, grace, and mercy for themselves. It is a life-changer!!! It is also the great commission to go into all the world and preach the gospel too all!

There has always been a stirring in my spirit for more of God. When Jesus came into my life it was real and life changing. He took away hurt of an abusive step father and anguish of not having my real father in my life instantly. At the age of nine years old, when I asked Jesus into my heart, my life was never the same. Peace flooded my heart and courage to conquer my world came. I felt immediate significance in my life.
We are at the beginning of a new year, 2017, and at the beginning of a new sermon series: “Praise and Worship!” In my spirit I sense we will be on this topic for a while as we usher in 2017 on the best foundation we could ever lay down! The Bible is really one complete inspired Word of God to show us how to worship. God created us for communion. He created us to worship Him.

The Water That Brings A New Beginning!