How To Handle Disappointments

Disappointments happen to us everyday. We put our expectations into something or someone, and when those expectations are not fulfilled, we become disappointed. Sports teams experience disappointments all the time. One team wins, and the other loses. The one who loses, I am sure, are disappointed at the outcome because they wanted to win.

Disappointment is the feeling of dissatisfaction that follows the failure of expectations or hopes to manifest. (Wikipedia.com)

dis·ap·point  (thefreedictionary.com)

1.To fail to satisfy the hope, desire, or expectation of.

2. To frustrate or thwart

3. To fail to meet the expectations, hopes, desires, or standards of; let down

4. To prevent the fulfillment of (a plan, intention, etc.); frustrate; thwart

Disappointments = Expectations not being met

Disappointments have the same flavor as regrets. The difference is that regrets usually have to do with the choices you make, while disappointments have to do with the outcome of what you put your expectations in. It usually means you didn’t get what you wanted or hoped for.

React in our flesh

The word “flesh” refers to self-nature or human nature or self-effort. To walk after the flesh is to do your own desires, usually it is the easy way out or it pleases you in an ungodly way.  Joyce Meyer states in “Living Beyond Your Feelings,” that “The nature of the flesh is to want what it thinks it cannot have, but once it has what it thought it wanted, the craving starts all over again. The one word that the flesh screams the loudest is more, and no matter how much it has, it is still never satisfied.” This reminds me of an older movie called, “Little Shop Of Horrors.” In it Seymour has a plant that needs to be fed all the time. When Seymour feeds it, the plant gets bigger and bigger and is never satisfied. It eventually takes over his home. This is exactly what happens when we feed our flesh instead of our spirit. The flesh is never satisfied and the more you feed it the bigger and more demanding it becomes.

It is natural to react to disappointments in our flesh. We might hold a grudge against someone who has let us down or has hurt us. Holding a grudge has a downward spiral attached to it. Holding a grudge is un-forgiveness and that is a sin.

Disappointments

a.  We put up walls. 

This happens often. We put up walls and don’t talk to someone or even totally close off all communication. I know because I have done this. It feels “right” at the time and it gives us a sense of control. We felt out of control when the disappointment came. There might not have been any thing we could have done to fix or change the outcome. It is a huge frustration to live with an outcome you didn’t have in your plans. It is very hard to live with circumstances someone else chose for you.

b.  We get mad at God

It is easy to get mad at God thinking He could have prevented what happened. Reality is God had nothing to do with it. People are given free will and they make choices all the time. Their choices might not line up with your choices or what you planned. Often authority figures over our life can make a choice that affects us. Our hands are tied as to the outcome. We can easily blame God, quit our job, or distance ourselves from this person or cituation. All of these choices are not good choices.

 c.  We get mad at ourselves

Handling disappointments is a process. Don’t get mad at your self if you are not over it quickly. It takes time to heal and to regroup after a disappointment. Give yourself permission to relax and allow God to heal you, and learn to worship in the middle of the Disappointment.

d.  We show emotion or get depressed

Often it is natural to be upset or get depressed when something happens that has disappointed or hurt you. There is a grieving process whenever there is a loss of any kind. There are 5 stages of grief when a loved one dies that can be applied to what we experience after a disappointment:

5 Stages of Grief or Loss

  1. Denial and Isolation
  2. Anger
  3. Bargaining
  4. Depression
  5. Acceptance

Video: “Stages of Grief

Disappointment quotes:

We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope. – Martin Luther King Jr

Disappointments are to the soul what a thunderstorm is to the air.  – Friedrich Schiller

Our best successes often come after our greatest disappointments.  – Henry Ward Beecher

Our real blessings often appear to us in the shape of pains, losses and disappointments; but let us have patience and we soon shall see them in their proper figures.  – Joseph Addison

How To Handle disappointments?

Let’s face it everyone will be disappointed from time to time. It is what we do; our actions or reactions, that determine our character. Often disappointments shape our character. It is in these times we need to quickly seek God to help us heal and to learn from them. Know that disappointments can help you grow. They make you stronger for your future. We can try and fight having disappointments but really it is futile because we can never control people or circumstances. This is not what God wants from us; a bunch of controlling, manipulating people.

Here are a few things I have personally learned when it comes to dealing with and handling disappointments, and I pray they help you:

  1. Run to God

Running to God, and venting your frustrations about your disappointments, is the very first things you should do after being disappointed. Telling Him how you feel is the best way to get it out. Stuffing your feelings inside of you only brings turmoil. God knows and sees everything. He was there when it happened. He wants us to run to Him with our disappointments.

1 Peter 5:7 (NKJV)

“Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.”

1 Peter 5:7 (Amplified Bible)

“Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully.” 

God hears our cry. Crying out to God is a form of running to Him. Here are just a few verses in the Bible about crying out to God:

2 Sam. 22:7 (NKJV)

“In my distress I called upon the Lord, And cried out to my God; He heard my voice from His temple, And my cry entered His ears.”

Psalm 18:6 (NKJV)

“In my distress I called upon the Lord, And cried out to my God; He heard my voice from His temple, And my cry came before Him, even to His ears.”

Psalm 30:2 (NKJV)

“O Lord my God, I cried out to You, And You healed me.”

Psalm 57:2 (NKJV)

“I will cry out to God Most High, To God who performs all things for me.”

Psalm 61:1 (NKJV)

“Hear my cry, O God; Attend to my prayer.”

Psalm 77:1 (NKJV)

“I cried out to God with my voice – To God with my voice; and He gave ear to me.”

God hears our cry and our humble plea moves His heart to action. Just the act of crying out to God brings healing, but to know God will move on our behalf brings security.

2.  Worship

Worship in the middle of the disappointment. Worshipping God takes our attention off of our circumstances and ourselves, and places our gaze, our focus on our Creator. Worship frees our spirit of the cares of this world. It puts life in perspective. Worship also helps us to place our trust in God in the middle of the disappointments.

Worshipping God reminds us of how good He really is. It helps build our faith to arise in us to overcome the disappointment.

Isaiah 52:17 – 19 

“His name shall endure forever; His name shall continue as long as the sun. And men shall be blessed in Him; All nations shall call Him blessed. Blessed be the LORD God, the God of Israel, Who only does wondrous things! And blessed be His glorious name forever! And let the whole earth be filled with His glory. Amen and Amen!”

God only does wondrous things! He will do wondrous things in your life as you place your cares upon Him. Don’t try to figure it out on your own. There are many things we can’t fix or change, but God has a plan. Even if it is teaching us to endure in the middle of the process of handling disappointments, we will come out the other side better for it and with much reward.

Psalm 28:6 – 7 (NKJV)

“Blessed be the Lord, Because He has heard the voice of my supplications! The Lord is my strength and my shield; My heart trusted in Him, and I am helped; Therefore my heart greatly rejoices, and with my song I will praise Him.”

Remind yourself of God’s faithfulness.

Psalm 42:5 (Message)

“Why are you down in the dumps, dear soul? Why are you crying the blues? Fix my eyes on God – soon I’ll be praising again. He puts a smile on my face. He’s my God.”

3.  Forgive

Release the person in your heart. Forgiveness takes away the power the other person continues to wield in your life, and it gives it back to you. Realize no body is perfect. If you are having trouble letting go of a grudge or to give forgiveness, talk to someone you trust, who will give you wise, Godly, and compassionate advice.

Forgiving is a process, at least it has been in my life. I would go through the stages of grief and then come to a place in my heart I was willing to forgive. Then I would even pray and might say it out loud; “I forgive _______ !” Then, something else would come up that would re-open the wound, and all the forgiveness I gave that person went out the window! I would have to come to the place in my heart to be willing to forgive again and then release them. Sometimes this happened over and over again. I knew the verses in the bible about forgiving seventy times seven (Matthew 18:22). I knew if I didn’t forgive my sins would not be forgiven (Matthew 6:12). These are things that motivated me to forgive, but the actual act of forgiving always seemed to take time. I finally gave myself permission that it was okay if I wasn’t at the place of forgiveness with them, knowing that was my ultimate goal.

Wounds take time to heal. Allow yourself the time it takes to be made whole again.

Jesus is my hero. He went to the cross knowing what was in the hearts of people, and even forgave them in the middle of the act of being crucified. My spirit wants to be able to do that, but my flesh wins out more than not.

Some people don’t struggle with forgiving others. They look like they just shrug it off and have no issue, but deep down inside a wound was created and only God and time will bring true healing.

I came across a post on Facebook the other day that I think will help us all in the process of forgiving others who have disappointed or mistreated us. The post was from the “Called Magazine” and they stated:“TODAY’S CHALLENGE: Give someone who mistreated you a kind word (genuine compliment/encouragement) or a thoughtful gift. — CAN YOU DO IT?” This challenged me to reach out in the direction of someone who hurt me and say a kind word to them. It was a step in the right direction. Baby steps are better then not stepping forward at all, and even better then stepping backward deeper into un-forgiveness to becoming bitter and resentful.

I could go into a sermon all its own on this subject. This message is to bring us to the awareness that forgiveness may be needed if your disappointment has to do with someone letting you down.

4.  Break walls down

It is natural to harden our hearts to life; let alone to people. You might have tried and tried to do something and was disappointed every time. Putting up walls and isolating yourself is not the answer. It only makes your turmoil worse.

Life has been given to us to enjoy, not resent. God has blessed us with many blessings if we would just look for them. We have to break down any walls we have built up, or possibly want to build up, or we will dry up and never have a healthy life.

Have you ever been dehydrated? I have. Your body will tell you it is drying up by how you are feeling and the symptoms you are experiencing. Signs of dehydration are:

2% body fluid loss:

  • Thirst
  • Loss of Appetite
  • Dry Skin
  • Skin Flushing
  • Dark Colored Urine
  • Dry Mouth
  • fatigue or Weakness
  • Chills
  • Head Rushes

5% body fluid loss:

  • Increased heart rate
  • Increased respiration
  • Decreased sweating
  • Decreased urination
  • Increased body temperature
  • Extreme fatigue
  • Muscle cramps
  • Headaches
  • Nausea
  • Tingling of the limbs

10% body fluid loss: (Emergency help is needed immediately)

  • Muscle spasms
  • Vomiting
  • Racing pulse
  • Shriveled skin
  • Dim vision
  • Painful urination
  • Confusion
  • Difficulty breathing
  • Seizures
  • Chest and Abdominal pain
  • unconsciousness

This is what happens to us spiritually when we put up walls and isolate ourselves from the real issue that God wants us to deal with. We become unhealthy and the signs will be seen. I think you get the point. What happens in the natural is similar to the spiritual. We have to keep ourselves spiritually hydrated, which includes breaking down the walls of isolation and anger.

5.  Be positive

Refuse to allow negativity to become a part of you after you have been disappointed. It is so easy to speak negative words about the situation, people, or life in general after being disappointed. Being negative about your circumstance never brings healing or help. Ask God to help you look at the situation through His eyes and from His perspective. Look to see what you can learn from it. Have a positive attitude that life will change in time. Know what you are going through is just a little bump in the road compared to the bigger picture of eternity.

I am sure you have heard the saying, “ You can either get better or bitter.” This is so true. Be determined to get better and to focus on the positives in your life. These are God’s blessings in disguise. We forget the good when we are faced with some bad. Learn to encourage yourself in the Lord like David did.

Psalm 30:10 – 12 (NKJV)

“Hear, O LORD, and have mercy on me; LORD, be my helper!” You have turned for me my mo9urning into dancing; You have put off my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness, to the end that my glory may sing praise to You and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give thanks to You forever.”

6.  Don’t try to get even  

Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t speak evil against them.

1 Thess 5:15 (Amplified Bible)

“See that none of you repays another with evil for evil, but always aim to show kindness and seek to do good to one another and to everybody.”

This is very hard to do I know. If you have spoken evil about someone you have been disappointed and hurt by, ask God to forgive you and to wipe away the words you have said. Be determined to stop yourself when you start to speak evil against someone.

7.  Walk on

Get to a place you love people but you are not devastated when they let you down. Know life will have challenges but be determined to keep going, especially in the middle of a challenge.

Move on and keep going in your life. Disappointments do not determine your future if you have the right perspective and determination.

Walking on doesn’t mean you trust the person who disappointed you. It does mean you are willing to move past it and keep going. If you decide you are giving up, the enemy wins and what is life if you choose to give up? Nothing!

Know there is life after disappointments. Even if the disappointment is a life change, God can make beauty from ashes!

Isaiah 61:3 (NKJV)

“To console those who mourn in Zion, to give them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they may be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.”

Your sister in Christ,

Pastor Kris Belfils

www.krisbelfils.com

www.hopefellowshipspokane.com

5 Stages of Intimacy in Worship

Christianity is a relationship with God. It is not religion or tradition. It is all about a growing, loving, intimate relationship with our Creator.

I want to give you tools to worship the Lord in a loving relationship that is so intimate and rewarding it will change your life.

Why is it that some Worship services, when we sing the songs during worship, it seems dry and meaningless, while other times the level of God’s presence is so high you never want to leave?

There are, I’m sure, many factors why that happens, but the bottom line is, I believe, the depth of our worship only goes as far as the depth of our love for God.

Why do we worship God? What has God done that makes you want to worship Him? Who is God that we should worship Him?

What happens when we are alone with the Lord determines how intimate and deep the worship will be when we come together as the body of Christ.

Worship blesses God; it is not just a preparation for the sermon. Worship is the act of freely giving our love to God. Worship is action! What if God approached you the way you approached Him in worship? Would you like it?

Some people sit down the entire time of worship when the Worship Leader has asked them to stand. They think they are too tired or it doesn’t matter if they sit or stand. It is true it doesn’t matter if you sit or stand to be able to worship God, but what does matter is our engagement in worship. Sitting often disconnects you from worship and allows you to zone out. I am not referring to those who may have a disability or an illness that prevents them to stand too long for a given amount of time. What I am talking about are those who decide to just sit and “check out” of the service until the sermon is preached. Singing or music might not be your “thing,” BUT, worshipping your Creator SHOULD be “your thing.”Our body language tells a lot about our relationship with Christ. If we decide to not participate in worship it screams that we are not interested in God. Remember the worship part of a service is our action, our part to give back to God. It is the way we should approach a Holy God, who has given us so much? How would you feel if God approached you and your needs the same way. What if He decided to “sit down” on the job of being God and was disinterested in communing with you? What if He decided to ignore listening to you and your prayer needs? Yet, this is what we do to Almighty God if we constantly zone out of worshipping Him during the worship part of any service.

How about being distracted constantly during the worship part of the service? Looking at your phone, or rummaging through your purse or pockets while people are focusing on God and singing His praises is a slap in God’s face. Again, what if God approached you that way? You see it is not about the songs, the Worship Leader or team, the volume, or even our desires, it is about God and giving Him what He deserves. He deserves our undivided attention. He deserves our entire focus and praise. Far too often people treat worship as a hassle or an obligation. This is not true, and so far from what it really is. Worship is our engagement, our heart and mind focused on the King of kings. We have lost the fear of the Lord if we treat worship with disrespect. It would be like the priests in the Bible to come with “profane” or “strange fire.” Fire that was not birthed from the Holy Fire, fire that was not commanded by God to give.

When I took on the role of “Worship Leader” many years ago, I read some verses in Leviticus that impacted me and changed my life forever.

Leviticus 10:1 – 3 (NKJV)

“Then Nadab and Abihu, the sons of Aaron, each took his censer and put fire in it, put incense on it, and offered profane fire before the LORD, which He had not commanded them. [] So fire went out from the LORD, and devoured them, and they died before the LORD. And Moses said to Aaron, “This is what the LORD spoke, saying: ‘By those who come near Me I must be regarded as holy; and before all the people I must be glorified.”

This shook me to my very core and sobered me to see the importance of offering my praise and worship with a pure heart and to always remember corporate worship is a holy event and to never treat it in any other way.

Worshipping God really shows you are hungering and thirsting after Him. True worshippers hunger for God. When a corporate worship service is open to them, they run at the opportunity to get their hunger satisfied. No need to “wind them up” to worship God, they enter in immediately. This shows good spiritual health.

Concerning worship C.S. Lewis states: “Inner health made audible.” 

You need to know that…

When you are feeling week…. You worship

When you are feeling vulnerable… You worship

When your time of solitude, or your creativity hits a dark moment… You worship

When you’re feeling tempted… start to worship

When you’re feeling angry… start to worship

When you’re feeling disappointed… start to worship

When you want to express your love to God… you automatically worship

There are some key stages to obtain intimacy in our worship. These are just a few I have realized.

5 stages of Intimacy in worship

  1. Remembering what God has done (He is faithful).

What has God done that makes you want to worship Him? Let’s take a look:

a. Because  God has redeemed us! Redemption/Freedom!

Psalm 111:9

“He has sent redemption to His people; He has commanded His covenant forever: Holy and awesome is His name.”

Nehemiah 1:9 & 10

“But you return to Me, and keep My commandments and do them, though some of you were cast out to the farthest part of the heavens, yet I will gather them from there, and bring them to the place which I have chosen as a dwelling for My name. Now these are Your servants and Your people, whom You have redeemed by Your great power, and by Your strong hand.”

In this verse in Nehemiah the word “redeemed” is translated:

Redeemed, padah: “To release, preserve, rescue, deliver, liberate, cut loose, sever; to free; to ransom. This verb describes God’s desire to free us!

Another meaning for the word “redeemed” is:

Redeemed, ga’al: “Ransom, redeem, repurchase; to set free by avenging or repaying. Ga’al refers to the custom of buying back something a person has lost through helplessness, poverty, or violence.

You can find the Hebrew meaning of ga’al in these verses:

Isaiah 52:9

“Break forth into joy, sing together, You waste places of Jerusalem! For the LORD has comforted His people, He has redeemed Jerusalem.”

Jesus saved us from what we deserve… Hell! He has rescued us from sin and from ourselves.

Psalm 72:14

“He will redeem their life from oppression and violence; and precious shall be their blood in His sight.”

Jesus saved us from what we deserve… HELL. He has rescued us from sin and from ourselves.

I self-destruct without pursuing God in my life. When I choose my own way, I often make bad choices in the flesh. When I lean on, and trust in the Lord, I will never be disappointed because God is faithful to help me through anything.

Redemption alone is a wonderful reason to worship God. I am free from Hell. He has set me free from sin and death!

b. Because God has loving kindness and mercy that endures forever.

1Ch 16:34

“Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good; His faithful love endures forever.”

Psa 106:1

“Hallelujah! Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good; His faithful love endures forever.”

How long is FOREVER? Forever: Without ever ending, an endless period of time, for everlasting time, without interruption

Psa 117:2

“For great is His faithful love to us; the LORD’s faithfulness endures forever. Hallelujah!”

Psa 118:1

“Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good; His faithful love endures forever.”

Psa 118:2

“Let Israel say, “His faithful love endures forever.”

Psa 118:3

“Let the house of Aaron say, “His faithful love endures forever.”

Psa 118:4

“Let those who fear the LORD say, “His faithful love endures forever.”

I think you get the point. There are many more scriptures that talk about God’s love, or righteousness, or mercy enduring forever.

God shows His loving kindness to us when He forgives us of what we have done. He allows us to go through hardships to make us stronger. This is His loving-kindness. He spares us from death and hell. This is His loving-kindness. He makes us to lye down in green pastures. This is His loving-kindness.

Psalm 23:2

“He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.”

This gives us reason to worship Him for always showing us His loving-kindness and mercy.

c. Because God is always with me!

Heb 13:5

“Your life should be free from the love of money. Be satisfied with what you have, for He Himself has said, I will never leave you or forsake you.”

God promises to never, ever leave us. He is always there wherever we go. He is your Best Friend. You can talk to Him anytime. There is never a moment that God is not with you.

Joshua 1:5

“No man shall be able to stand before you all the days of your life; as I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will not leave you nor forsake you.”

Forsake: To quite or leave entirely, abandon, desert, to give up or renounce, to give up (formally held dear), to leave someone who counts on you, to leave in a lurch.

Joshua 1:9

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.”

We never have to worry if God is with us. He is always there. That is a promise. That is a reason to worship Him passionately!

d. Because God longs to have communion with me.

He longs — not just desires or wants, but longs — to be intimate with us. God desires to be personally known by us, just as a young man desires to know and be known by the woman he loves.

“. . .As the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so shall your God rejoice over you.” — Isaiah 62:5

The word marriage implies intimacy, and intimacy implies vulnerability. If a marriage does not involve these two profoundly personal and often frightening sentiments, it is only an indifferent contract between two people who know each other’s name and can recognize the other’s face — nothing more. It produces nothing of worth; it is just barely beyond the acquaintance level.

A true marriage is a union of one spirit with another. It is a deeply intimate binding of two souls, where more than just thoughts and secrets are shared. God wants to have relationship with His creation. He yearns to have a true marriage with us. God invites us beyond anything we could hope for or imagine: He invites us to truly know Him.

e. Because God hears, listens, and answers my cry.

Psalm 72:12 – 13

“For He will deliver the needy when he cries, The poor also, and him who has no helper. He will spare the poor and needy, and will save the souls of the needy.”

2.  Draw close and place your trust in Him.

As we draw close to Him, He never rejects us!

When a couple is strongly married, they can draw close to each other knowing the other will not pull away or reject them. This brings security.

The closer we get to Jesus, the more we realize we can trust Him. Intimacy brings security. We are safe and secure from all harm.

We can trust God that He has the best intentions for us.

We can trust Him because His word never lies.

3.  Reveal your heart’s cry and desire.

When I am up close next to Jesus, I can share the most precious things in my heart. He wants to hear our desires (He already knows). He wants to share in our joys and our sorrows. He comes to our cry.

It is hard to share an intimate moment with someone when they keep their distance. ~ Pastor Kris

2Sa 22:7

“I called to the LORD in my distress; I called to my God. From His temple He heard my voice, and my cry for help reached His ears.”

Psa 3:4

“I cry aloud to the LORD, and He answers me from His holy mountain. Selah”

Psa 18:6

“I called to the LORD in my distress, and I cried to my God for help. From His temple He heard my voice, and my cry to Him reached His ears.”

Psa 34:15

“The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous, and His ears are open to their cry for help.”

       4.  Listen to His heart’s desire, which is always towards you.

It would be very selfish if we just cried out to the Lord our needs and never took the time to listen to His heart. When we are up close and personal with God, we can’t help but hear His heartbeat. It becomes our desire to hear His heartbeat the more we spend time with Him. He will share intimate things about our life. He will bring healing and restoration.

      5.  Express your love to Him.

Those  have been forgiven much, loves much!

Luke 7:47

“Therefore I say to you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much. But to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little.”

Do you realize you have been forgiven MUCH? You have not been forgiven little. We all have sinned a lot and fall short of the glory of God. For one to be forgiven much, we have to show our worship to Him in a passionate way. One cannot help but extravagantly worship God because of what He has forgiven in our lives.

Spend time alone with God. Realize how much He loves you. Express your love to Him.

Remember He is Your Portion! He is everything you need and more. It is easy to come to a loving God Who knows our ever need, thought, and desire. But it makes it even clearer to come to God knowing who He is and what He has already done for us.

Take some time and look up in the Bible some verses about praise or worship and apply them to your life.

Your Sister In Christ,

Pastor Kris Belfils

www.krisbelfils.com

www.hopefellowshipspokane.com

You Were Created For More (A Mother’s Day Message)

Have you every felt you were created for more then what you are doing and experiencing now in your life? Do you feel empty? Are you watching others experiencing more and desire the same things? I am here to tell you there is more for you. God wants to pour the “new” into you. He wants you to walk in it.

Women today have come a long way to experience freedom to be who they are in Christ. God created you for a purpose. More then what you think you are. More then how others see you.

God Created You For A Purpose

1. You have a more Abundant Life waiting for you.

John 10:10 (NKJV)

“The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.”

“…more abundantly.” This is the main reason why Jesus came to the world, so we could have everlasting life with Him eternally. He came for us to have a more abundant life on earth and walk in this “more” every day.

This “more” is gender friendly and race friendly. It is not just for the rich, it is for everyone.

Galatians 3:28 (NKJV)

“There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus. And if you are Christ’s, then you are Abrahams seed, and heirs according to the promise.” 

It is for “they” or “those” who will grab it and walk in an abundant life and make it their own.

Knowing we are to live an abundant life, and to walk in it are two different things.

Women have been abused, treated less then, and overlooked for generation after generation. It is time for women to realize who they are in Christ. It is time for women to rise up and fulfill the calling or destiny they were created for.

It doesn’t matter what your past mistakes have been. Everybody makes bad choices in their life.

2. You are more then your past mistakes.

What Christ did on the cross for you is complete. We don’t have to add to it. The cross applies to all of us.

You can never sin too much to take that away. God’s grace is not grease to slip and slide in it. We walk away from what God doesn’t like. But, once we have walked away, and ask forgiveness, we are washed from all the wrong we have done. Your mistakes do not define you. Your mistakes do not dictate your future. You are a new creation and have been remade!

Tenth Avenue North has a song that really sums up that you are more then your past mistakes, or the choices that you make. Click the link to listen:  “You Are More”  (Donehey, Mike/Ingram, Jason)

We have to get past what we think of ourselves. We have to ignore what people think of us.

3. You are a new creation! 

2 Corinthians 5:17 (NKJV)

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.”

2 Corinthians 5:17 (Message)

“Now we look inside, and what we see is that anyone united with the Messiah gets a fresh start, is created new. The old life is gone; a new life burgeons!”

Burgeons“to send forth new growth (as buds or branches), sprout, bloom, to grow and expand rapidly, flourish, blossom.”  

We are brand new, valuable, and blossoming into beautiful things. This is our life! God doesn’t create junk, no, He creates wonderful people to do extravagant things for His glory, and to impact their world for Him!

4. You are royalty.

We are God’s princesses. We are a royal priesthood. We are royalty.

We need to know our place! Our place is a daughter of the Most High God! Take a listen to the song:  “Royalty” by Kimberly and Roberto Rivera

It is hard to see ourselves as royalty or priceless. I remember a time in my life where I was broken. I didn’t see any value in myself. I made some bad choices and had to endure and walk through the consequences. A lot of my healing came through Women’s retreats and seeing who I was in Christ through other women. At one retreat, the entire theme was about being God’s princess. I couldn’t wrap my brain around that concept because of what I had done. My book: “The Garbage Man Always Comes On Fridays” was written during that time (click on link and scroll down page to “The Garbage Man Always Comes On Fridays”). One of the leaders of this retreat had a Tiara and was using it as an example that all of us were given this sparkly crown by God. There were several speakers and many sessions to glean from. When we went to lunch, One of the leaders gave me the Tiara she was using in her talks. I was shocked. I was just there to lead worship with the band. When she gave me the Tiara, she told me “I was God’s favorite, and that He sees me whole and shinning for His glory.” I cried! I didn’t see myself that way, on the contrary, I saw myself as a mess and that I blew any chance of being used by God ever again.

We are royalty. It is easy to believe this for other people, but when it comes to our own life, we seem to be blind. What causes this blindness? I believe it is the culmination of circumstances and experiences we have walked through, also the thought that we have no value, and maybe we have junk in our spiritual/emotional life that needs to be dealt with.  It could be listening to the negative, critical words we are feeding ourselves or that the enemy is feeding us. It doesn’t matter at this point, what matters is to change our viewpoint and to have our spirit healed.

5. Your Spirit can be restored.

Proverbs 15:13 (KJV)

“A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken.”

Proverbs 18:14 (KJV)

“The spirit of a man will sustain his infirmity; but a wounded spirit who can bear?”

These verses express that our spirit can make or break us. The word “spirit” is translated: “roo’ – akh, to blow that is, breathe.” (Strongs Hebrew and Greek Definitions)

The spirit of a man is the very essence of himself. That is why when we experience sorrow of heart our spirit is broken. When our spirit is broken, we have no strength to be all God created us to be. We have to have our spirit restored so we can move on into our purpose and fulfill our potential.

Steps In Restoring Your Spirit

(Taken from my book:  “Revive, Rebuild, and Restore” pages 147 – 149)

a. Be truthful to God about how you feel. 

God already knows, but telling Him yourself helps. It frees your spirit up to relax. You will soon feel safe in God’s arms as you rest in Him. He might change the circumstances, or He might change you. Either way you are being changed and that is a good thing.

Many times I have to run to God and cry out to Him about the circumstances. That brings release in my spirit.

b. Be sensitive to God speaking to you.

God is always speaking to us, we just need to dial in our spiritual frequency to hear Him. We need to quiet ourselves to hear His still small voice. Open your heart and mind to His voice. Remember His sheep know His voice. Spend time with Him in prayer and soaking. Learn to listen to Him and be obedient to what He tells you to do.

c. Be quick to admit your sin and repent.

If your spirit is in need of restoration because of something you did wrong, be quick to ask forgiveness, and repent. That means totally turn from what you are doing (the sin) and get far away from it. Don’t stay in your sin. Don’t think there is no hope of ever getting out of it. There is always hope. The truth is how bad do you want to be set free compared to the bondage you are experiencing in the middle of the sin. We have to come to a place we want to please God more then our fleshly desires.

d. Be Forgiving.

Forgive others and forgive yourself. Un-forgiveness will kill your spirit. It will cause you to become old and bitter. Forgiving yourself is just as important as forgiving others. Your spirit will not be restored if you hold onto un-forgiveness.

e. Be willing to accept your circumstances.

Don’t live in denial. Your life is what it is. I have a saying I say to myself, and to others often; “It is what it is!” This statement really says a lot. You can’t change what happened, you accept what happened, and you are not going to stay in what happened. Live your life determined to move on and be healthy. Don’t harbor anything in your heart. This will only lead to a broken spirit.

f. Be willing to change your circumstances.

Don’t settle for anything less than what God has planned for your life. The only person who can change your circumstance is you. If you feel worthless, go look for a job. If you are not getting any jobs, go back to school. Pursue every avenue to better yourself. Don’t be lazy and expect life to come to you. Go out and grab it. If you are lonely go out and find friends. Get involved at a church. Be friendly. Be willingly to help out at a charity. Find something or someone worse off then you and pour yourself into it. You will feel better for it, and you will be a contributing member to society.

g. Be thankful for your restoration.

When you start seeing your spirit/life being restored, be thankful. Better yet, be thankful before you start seeing anything. Cultivating a thankful heart is so crucial to restoration.

Don’t complain, but pray. Don’t criticize, but encourage. Make sure your words uplift instead of tear down, not only to others, but speak encouraging words to yourself as well. Thank God continually for what He is doing in your life. Remember where you were to where you are now. Take a deep breath and enjoy the moment. Give all glory to God for your restoration.

Walk Boldly In Who You Are In Christ

Once we see who we are in Christ, it empowers us to walk more boldly everyday. It is not our ability, but God’s power, that enables us to be more then what we see ourselves to be.

There will always be nay sayers. Surround yourself with people who see your potential! Protect your heart and destiny by connecting with people who will build you up and not bring you down.

Build up the Kingdom of God. Give value to others. When we serve in leadership, people will trust you. True leaders don’t dominate, they lift up other people.

Women complete each other, not compete with each other. Yet, far too often women criticize other women. Most criticism comes from fear. We criticize what we don’t understand or don’t know. We criticize if we feel threatened. But being critical of others only brings bondage and destruction. It never builds the Kingdom of God. Why do we shoot each other in the body of Christ. We are of the same body, yet we shoot criticism when someone makes wrong choices. We shoot our wounded.

“We frequently stop or minimize one another. Instead of supporting and encouraging one another for the cause of Christ, we perpetuate an oppression that renders us ineffective to be all we’re supposed to be as women and as Christians.”

Lisa Bevere

Lionness Arising 

You would never see an army soldier, who is shot in battle by “friendly fire” be shot at again. No, you will see them being rushed to the medics. But this is what we do to other Christians when we don’t have compassion, or mercy and grace. Our criticism is like shooting them again and again thinking they will change. Reality is they are wounded more and more to the point they want nothing to do with Christians.

Let us be people who encourage one another. Try to see the good in others. After all, isn’t that what you would like them to do to you?

People may label you. Remember what people say about you, or what they think about you does not dictate who you are. God’s opinion is the only opinion that matters. We might even be judged as arrogant by walking in God’s power and agreeing with what His word says we are. I have two words for you;  “Who cares!” Who cares what people think or say! Who cares what man, or this world may say! We, as God’s creation, have a mighty work to do. Each one of us were created for a specific purpose. Each one of us, male or female, have great potential.

Don’t let the naysayers stop you from being all you can be in Jesus! Their opinion doesn’t last throughout eternity, only God’s does. This is who we should please!

You Were Created For More

All of this said, I pray your eyes have been opened to see the potential that lies dormant inside of you. What are your dreams and desires? Do they line up with God’s Word? I have found my true desires, those things that I am passionate about, are really given by God.

Psalms 37:4 – 6 (NKJV)

“Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass. He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday.”

As you are walking faithfully with God in life? God will bring those desires to pass. This is a promise! This promise is for you! Commit your life, plans, and desires totally to God. We can trust Him with our “precious” things. Those things we keep secret in our hearts. Those things we ponder and hope for.

Remember what Christ did for you on the cross was not just for your redemption, but also for your future. What He did is complete. He has made all things new.

Be the one who grabs ahold of this message today and change your world for Christ! Be the new creation Christ gave His life for and walk fully in the new He has for you.

From one new creation to another;

Pastor Kris Belfils

www.krisbelfils.com