forgive

Entrapped By Offense
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Entrapped By Offense

Matthew 24:3
“Now as He sat on the Mount of Olives, the disciples came to Him privately, saying, “Tell us, when will these things be? And what will be the sign of Your coming, and of the end of the age?”

How many believe we are living in the last days? We see wars, bad economy, natural disasters, people turning away from each other, so much hatred everywhere you go.

Matthew 24:6 – 8
“And you will hear of wars and rumors of wars. See that you are not troubled; for all these things must come to pass, but the end is not yet. For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. And there will be famines, pestilences, and earthquakes in various places. All these are the beginning of sorrows.”

Dropping down to verse 10…

Matthew 24:10 (NKJV)
“And then many will be offended, will betray one another, and will hate one another.”

Have you ever been betrayed? Have you ever betrayed someone?
Have you hated someone for something they did to you?
Have you been mistreated?
Are you holding onto a grudge and have become bitter over an event and the people surrounding it?

You may be offended and don’t even know it.

Again…
Matthew 24:10 (NKJV)
“And then many will be offended, will betray one another, and will hate one another.”

Many = much, largely, abundant, great, plenteous, majority, at least 51% will take offense. Over 51% will betray one another and hate one another.

There is a progression:
Offended, wounded, hurt person will eventually put up walls and betray.

Being offended is a trap from the enemy to put you in bondage and bring division. We can be entrapped by an offense and not even know it. That is the reality of be offended. We don’t see how it is affecting us, our family, our church, and everything that is connected with us.

Proverbs 18:19
“An offended brother is harder to reach than a fortified [strong] city, and quarrels [contentions] are like the bars of a fortress [castle].”

A strong city has walls for protection. They were built to keep out those people that you believed were against you.

This is exactly what an offended person does, they begin to build walls to protect themselves.
The New Testament calls these walls Strongholds.”

2 Cor. 10:3 – 5
“For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for the pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments (Imaginations or reasonings) and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.”

They are thought processes or reasonings developed deep within our soul and are contrary to the will or Word of God.

The Word of God is always congruent to the nature of God. The nature of God is love.

The word of God is always to give, to give, to give.

An offended person builds up walls to protect, protect, protect.

They think, “I’ve been hurt and I don’t want to get hurt again!” This sets them up for betrayal.

A lot of us really don’t understand what betrayal means as we look at the extreme cases of it like Benedict Arnold or Judas.

Betrayal is when a person seeks his own benefit or protection at the expense of one he has a relationship with.

Betrayal is the ultimate abandonment of a relationship.

Betrayal, if not dealt with will ultimately lead to hatred.

Hatred is the absence of love or they are “loveless.”

Then Deception. The offended heart is the breeding ground of Deception.

Deception is deceiving – a person who thinks they are really right, turns out to be really wrong. (The devil makes the wrong look right and the right look wrong.) He knows how to present false information looking like the truth.

Matthew 24:11 (NKJV)
“Then many false prophets will rise up and deceive many.”

When we become deceived we are like a false prophet. False prophets are
wolves in sheep’s clothing – notice wolves in sheep’s clothing not shepherds clothing. Many times they are sitting in the pews.

Wolves travel in packs to isolate a sheep from the herd. There is protection for sheep staying in a herd.

Proverbs 18:1 (HCSB)
“One who isolates himself pursues [selfish] desires; he rebels against all sound judgment.”

Where does the isolation occur? In the thinking process – you can still be a member of a church but the isolation happens in our hearts and makes you a perfect candidate for deception……

Matthew 24:12 (NKJV)
“And because of lawlessness will abound, the love of many will grow cold.”

The word Lawlessness in the Greek is “anomia” which is translated, “Law unto yourself”. It is what you want to do. King James Version uses the word “Inequity,” which is sin. It is action that is against God’s Word and law. It is being selfish and doing things your own way. You make the rules. You decide what is right or wrong. This thinking will lead you astray always!

Looking at Matthew 24:12 again, “And because of lawlessness will abound, the love of many will grow cold.”
Again, the word “Many” means over 51%. The love here is translated in the Greek “Agape.” The love that is placed in a Christian’s heart. 51% or more will be offended in the last days. We need to beware of this. We need to guard against this.

The person who can offend you the deepest is the person closest to you. Why is that? Our expectations are higher on them.

We set ourselves up by having expectations. Not expectations of God, as that is good to have, but of man, which is always bad to have.

When we put our expectations in man we will be disappointed every time.

2 Categories of Offense:

  1. Those who have genuinely been mistreated.
  2. Those who think they’ve been mistreated (Often the case).

If you have been mistreated do you have the right to be offended?

A person who is offended is a person who’s forgotten what they’ve been forgiven of!

Holding unto an offense is un-forgiveness.

If you want to walk with God you don’t have a right to be offended.

Matthew 18:21 – 35 (NKJV)
“Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven. Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. But as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and that payment be made. The servant therefore fell down before him, saying, ‘Master, have patience with me, and I will pay you all.’ Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt. But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii; and he laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying, ‘Pay me what you owe!’ So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you all.’ And he would not, but went and threw him into prison till he should pay the debt. So when his fellow servants saw what had been done, they were very grieved, and came and told their master all that had been done. then his master, after he had called him, said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?’ And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him. “So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.”

70 x 7 = 490 (All in one day – Luke 17:4). We would have to sin once every three minutes as long as we don’t go to sleep in that 24 hour period.

10,000 talents = $5 Billion (Un-payable debt)
100 Denari = $10,000 (possibly a 1/3 of a year’s salary today)

Who are we to decide we won’t forgive some little offense compared to God forgiving us of all the wrong we have done. It doesn’t compare.

A person who doesn’t forgive is a person who forgot what they were forgiven of. What have you been forgiven of?
Christians think of “sin” as: Murder, adultery, stealing
Christians say they have “weaknesses”: un-forgiveness, slander, gossip, strife

Proverbs 6:16- 19 (NKJV)
“These six things the Lord hates, Yes, seven are an abomination to Him:
A proud look,
A lying tongue,
Hands that shed innocent blood,
A heart that devises wicked plans,
Feet that are swift in running to evil,
A false witness who speaks lies,
And one who sows discord among brethren.“

Some translations state: “a person that stirs up conflict or trouble in the community or among the brothers.”

These are things the Lord hates! The last is an abomination – one who sows discord among brethren… this is a Christian who sows seeds of discord, not an outsider.
Discord means: “Lack of concord or harmony between persons. Disagreement, difference of opinion, strife; dispute; war.”

Abomination means: anything greatly disliked or abhorred, Loathing, a vile, shameful, or detestable action.

This is what we do when we stir up strife in church. When we go and talk to others in a negative tone about someone else at work. This is gossip. This is a lying tongue! This is judging one another.

Have you done this?
Have you heard other people do this lately?
What do you do when you hear it?
We should STOP it right away! Don’t allow the sin to manifest even bigger by staying silent while someone talks bad about another person. Do you know by just listening to it you have committed the sin as well. Remember with the same judgement you give it will be measured back to you.

Matthew 7:1 – 2
“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you.”

We categorize sin, God doesn’t.
Sin is sin.
If it doesn’t please God, don’t do it!!!

If we treat gossip like we treat murder we will be free. Treat it as a “weakness” and you will be bound to it.

We deserve to burn in the same hell as Hitler is burning in. That is our just punishment.

Were you a nice person and got saved? That’s why it is hard for you to give mercy.

Going back to the wicked servant:

Matthew 18:35 (HCSB)
“So My heavenly Father will also do to you if each of you does not forgive his brother from his heart.”

-Are you too proud to admit you are offended?
-Is your fire dying?
-Are you going to church because it is the thing to do?
-Has your love for God and man grown cold?
-Have you lost your desire to worship?

You might say, “I have forgiven them! I have prayed over this.”

Yet when you see the other person you get critical and you feel a twinge in your heart. You start rehashing all the wrong this person has done in your mind. This is not a person who is over an offense. Stop trying to deny the obvious. You are still OFFENDED!

Acts 24:16 (ASB)
“Herein I also exercise myself to have a conscience void of offense toward God and men always.”

And in the Amplified Bible it reads:

Acts 24:16 (Amplified Bible)
“Therefore I always exercise and discipline myself [mortifying my body, deadening my carnal affections, bodily appetites, and worldly desires, endeavoring in all respects] to have a clear (unshaken, blameless) conscience, void of offense toward God and toward men.”

We need to EXERCISE and DISCIPLINE ourselves not to get offended.

-Are you out of shape spiritually?
-Are you reading God’s word? (not just for school or a ritual – but is it feeding your spirit?)
-Are you spending time with God?
-Are you pushing into God?

If you are not doing these things then spiritually you are weak.

How do we exercise or overcome an offense?

Matthew 5:44 (NKJV)
“But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you”

Pray for those who mistreats, abuses, and misuses you.

DAVID knew what it was like to be mistreated…

Psalm 35:11 – 12 (GNT)
“Evil people testify against me and accuse me of crimes I know nothing about. They pay me back evil for good, and I sink in despair.”

Do you ever feel like that? Treated unjustly and falsely accused?
Are People speaking lies about you and spreading gossip?

Just wait and God will get them, RIGHT?! Read on…

Psalm 35:13 – 14 (GNT)
“But when they were sick, I dressed in mourning; I deprived myself of food; I prayed with my head bowed low, as I would pray for a friend or a brother. I went around bent over in mourning, as one who mourns for his mother.”

Pray for that person who offended you like what you want God to do in you, your friends, or a family member’s life.

Pray what is truth, not what feels good to the flesh.

Go to the one who hurt you, not pointing out what they did wrong, but with words of reconciliation and kindness.

What if the person doesn’t want to forgive you or they don’t admit their part or what they did wrong? What if they are offended by you and don’t want to forgive? We can, through prayer and intercession (standing in the gap), accomplish the same healing without them.

Parent passed away – you can’t go to them and reconcile.
Someone who is unreachable – you can’t go to them and reconcile.

Allow God to heal your wounds and the wounds you have caused knowing He sees and has the healing power to overcome anything in our lives if we just yield it to Him.

The Holy Spirit can be your best counselor!

But when we can, we need to go to our brother or sister and create an atmosphere of goodness that’s going to help him say, “I am sorry!” Kind, reconciling words! Maybe even give them a nice gift with no strings attached. It is a true jester that you really care about this person and want to forgive.

The love of God He has given us can flow from us, as we receive it, to the one who has offended us.

Love covers a multitude of sins.

Choose to love instead of hate. Hatred turns into bitterness and bitterness is revenge unfulfilled!

Luke 17:1 (NKJV)
“Then He said to the disciples, “It is impossible that no offenses should come, but woe to him through whom they do come!”

In other words, if you breath air you will have the opportunity to be offended.

What you do with the offense will determine your future. Either you will become stronger or bitter.

2 Tim. 2:25 – 26 (NKJV)
“In humility correcting those who are in opposition, if God perhaps will grant them repentance, so that they may know the truth, and that they may come to their senses and escape the snare of the devil, having been taken captive by him to do his will.”

God has so much blessings ready to pour out to us. Sin separates us from His blessings. Being offended turns off God’s goodness in our lives.

You have to remember 2 wrongs don’t make a right. If someone has hurt you and you put up walls, have un-forgiveness in your heart, and hatred it doesn’t make the wrong situation right. It makes it even worse.

The sin of offense doesn’t justify how badly you’ve been treated.

Wounds will happen. “Offenses will come…” (Luke 14:30). People will hurt us. What will be our reaction?

Don’t let pride keep you from being set free.

Are you ready to run to God with this offense and ask forgiveness?

Are you tired of carrying around this burden/bondage as long as you have been?

Prayer, repeat after me:
Father in Heaven, thank you for speaking to me through your servant. I’ve realized I’ve sinned against you by holding onto un-forgiveness. 2 wrongs don’t make a right. Yes, what was done to me was wrong. But, that doesn’t justify my sin of offense. So today I repent of my sin of offense. I ask you to cleanse me with the blood of Jesus. Father from my heart I forgive _____ (whisper their names – Dad, mom, friend, brother, sister, co-worker) Say this, “I completely release you. You owe me nothing. Nothing! I release and forgive you in the presence of God. In Jesus Name.

Ok, now I want to pray for you:

Lord God, I ask you to draw near to these people. I break the chains. I pull up the roots of bitterness now. I uproot resentment. I uproot un-forgiveness from their life, from their home. And now Lord, in it’s place poor in your love I pray, and your Holy presence. I speak freedom to your life and to your household my brother and my sister in Jesus name, Amen.

Now, let’s give Him praise!
Your Sister in Christ,

Pastor Kris Belfils

http://www.krisbelfils.com
http://www.krisbelfils.wordpress.com

God is Bigger Than My Emotions
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God is Bigger Than My Emotions

GOD IS BIGGER THAN MY EMOTIONSI was traveling with some friends to a band practice. I wanted to allow one of them to sit in the front passenger seat and I sat in the back seat behind them. Shortly after traveling I started to get sick to my stomach. Within a few more minutes I needed to have the windows open and the heater turned off. I thought I was going to throw up. Finally we arrived to our destination and I ran into the bathroom as I felt like throwing up. Fortunately I didn’t.

Motion sickness has been a part of my life as far back as I can remember. Often I forget about it as I usually drive my own car or sit in the front passenger seat. But there was a time in my life, when I was growing up, that I would get motion sickness every time I traveled with the family. I would dread long trips in the car knowing I would be sick the entire time we were traveling. The only thing that would help me with my motion sickness is to have the car stop every once in a while and get out and walk around in the fresh air. I remember one time, after a women’s conference I spoke at, I was traveling in the back seat on the way to the airport. Sure enough I started to get sick to my stomach, and my traveling friend did too. My host said she knew exactly what I needed to make my stomach feel better. We stopped by her house and in a few minutes she came back with a handful of tootsie roll pops. My friend and I just looked at each other in bewilderment wondering how can a tootsie roll pop fix our motion sickness. We opened up one of the suckers and started sucking on them. To be truthful it really didn’t help, but it got our minds off of the sickness and gave our mouths something to do.

Being sick to our stomach is not a fun feeling. It pretty much takes away any strength we may have for the day. Sometimes being sick to our stomach can overtake us and stifle any activity we may want to do.

Thinking about motion sickness, and how it affects our lives, makes me think about our emotions and how they affect our lives. We can get emotional sickness if we are not careful. Emotional sickness is allowing our emotions to take over our practical thought life. God is bigger than our emotions and has given us the ability to have self-control and tame them.

If we allow our emotions to take over our lives we will be living in emotional sickness. Living in any kind of sickness for too long takes a toll on our bodies. Just like the physical manifestations that take place when we are sick, we can experience physical and spiritual manifestations when we are emotionally sick.

Emotional sickness can manifest in so many different ways. Do you find you are always asking for forgiveness because of hurting people’s feelings? How about isolating yourself because you think no one likes or loves you. Do you get mad easily over things that really are insignificant? Are people stepping back from you and giving you a wide birth? Do you always think about yourself and how things affect you? These all can be signs of emotional sickness.

HOW TO DEAL WITH EMOTIONAL SICKNESS

1. Learn to cry out all your frustrations to God

We have to remember that God is bigger than anything we are going through. God is big enough to vent or cry out our frustrations. Actually this is very healthy.

David cried out to God many times about what was going on in his life. Here are just a few verses expressing His cries:

Psalm 3:1 – 2 (NKJV)

“LORD, how they have increased who trouble me! Many are they who rise up against me. Many are they who say of me, ‘There is no help for him in God.’”

Psalm 4:2 – 3 (NKJV)

“How long, O you sons of men, will you turn my glory to shame? How long will you love worthlessness and seek falsehood? But know that the LORD has set apart for Himself him who is godly; the LORD will hear when I call to Him.”

Psalm 5:1 – 3 (NKJV)

“Give ear to my words, O LORD, consider my meditation. Give heed to the voice of my cry, my King and my God, for to You I will pray. My voice You shall hear in the morning, O LORD, in the morning I will direct it to You, and I will look up.”

Psalm 6:1 – 7 (NKJV)

“O LORD, do not rebuke me in Your anger, nor chasten me in Your hot displeasure. Have mercy on me, O LORD, for I am weak; O LORD, heal me, for my bones are troubled. My soul also is greatly troubled; but You, O LORD—how long? Return, O LORD, deliver me! Oh, save me for Your mercies’ sake! For in death there is no remembrance of You; in the grave who will give You thanks? I am weary with my groaning; all night I make my bed swim; I drench my couch with my tears. My eye wastes away because of grief; it grows old because of all my enemies.”

David cried out to God often and also found comfort in doing so. Another example is Moses. He cried out to God often and even changed the Lord’s mind. Moses cried out to God concerning the plagues in Egypt:

Exodus 8:12 – 13 (NKJV)

“Then Moses and Aaron went out from Pharaoh. And Moses cried out to the LORD concerning the frogs which He had brought against Pharaoh. So the LORD did according to the word of Moses. And the frogs died out of the houses, out of the courtyards, and out of the fields.”

Exodus 17:3 – 4 (NKJV)

“And the people thirsted there for water, and the people complained against Moses, and said, ‘Why is it you have brought us up out of Egypt, to kill us and our children and our livestock with thirst?’ So Moses cried out to the LORD, saying, ‘What shall I do with this people? They are almost ready to stone me!’”

Moses was not afraid to share what was on his mind to God.

Exodus 32:7 – 14 (NKJV)

“And the LORD said to Moses, ‘Go, get down! For your people whom you brought out of the land of Egypt have corrupted themselves. They have turned aside quickly out of the way which I commanded them. They have made themselves a molded calf, and worshiped it and sacrificed to it, and said, “This is your god, O Israel, that brought you out of the land of Egypt!’” And the LORD said to Moses, ‘I have seen this people, and indeed it is a stiff-necked people!’ ‘Now therefore let Me alone, that My wrath may burn hot against them and I may consume them. And I will make of you a great nation.’ Then Moses pleaded with the LORD his God, and said: “LORD why does Your wrath burn hot against Your people whom You have brought out of the land of Egypt with great power and with a might hand? Why should the Egyptians speak, and say, ‘He brought them out to harm them, to kill them in mountains, and to consume them from the face of the earth’?  Turn from Your fierce wrath, and relent from this harm to Your people. Remember Abraham, Isaac, and Israel, Your servants, to whom said to them, I will multiply your descendants as the stars of heaven; and all this land that I have spoken of I give to your descendants, and they shall inherit it forever.’ So the LORD relented from the harm which He said He would do to His people.”

2. Learn to manage your emotions

When we are feeling a strong emotion, especially if it is anger or fear, we need to learn how to manage it. Emotions are not good or bad, they just are. God created us as emotional beings. So to try and “control” our emotions, or totally get rid of them is impossible. It just won’t happen. But if we learn to manage them we will have a better life. We need to learn to vent our emotions properly.

Don’t be easily affected by your emotions. If you are in the middle of a situation and need to make a decision, allow time to think before you act. If you make a decision, allow more time to pass and see if that decision settles in your spirit. If you are uneasy still about it chances are it is the wrong decision. But if it settles in your spirit and you have prayed about it and sense God’s peace, then walk in that decision.

We all are human and we all have emotions. Men and women alike have the same emotions. Both men and women experience emotional pain and frustration. It is how we handle our emotions that seems to separate men from women. As a general rule; women have a tendency to vent their emotions outwardly and men keep them inward. Yet there are exceptions to every case. Still both men and women have emotions and have to deal with them.

I admire my husband as he is even tempered and very seldom shows any negative emotions. But, on the other hand, it is often hard to know if he is happy with something too. Because I have been married to him for 30 years, I know him pretty well. I know when he is mad or happy by just watching his body language. I appreciate how he handles things when he is frustrated. Most of the time the average person wouldn’t even know he is frustrated.

Scripture tells us to guard our hearts because out of it flow life itself.

Proverbs 4:23 (Amplified Bible)

“Keep and guard your heart with all vigilance and above all that you guard, for out of it flow the springs of life.”

3. Learn to live your life according to the Word of God and not your feelings.

If we look at the verses after Psalm 3:1 – 2 we can see how David stood on God’s word and didn’t allow his emotions to take over:

Psalms 3:3 – 6 (NKJV)

“But You, O LORD, are a shield for me, my glory and the One who lifts up my head. I cried to the LORD with my voice, and He heard me from His holy hill. I lay down and slept; I awoke, for the LORD sustained me. I will not be afraid of ten thousands of people who have set themselves against me all around.”

He reminded himself of who God is and what he can do. David encouraged himself in the Lord all by remembering what God has done. That is where the Word of God can help us. Getting into the Word and finding appropriate scriptures to help us with any emotional situation is standing on solid ground.

4. Learn to trust in the Lord for everything. 

God is trustworthy. He has proven time and again His promises are true. He has shown throughout Biblical history His character and integrity. If God says it in His Word, believe it. There are so many scriptures in the book of Psalms alone that express how we can trust God. By trusting God, we learn to not be ruled by our emotions. It is a knowing in your heart that God is in control, and He will get you through any given situation.

Here are just a few verses on trust:

Psalm 5:11 – 12 (NKJV)

“But let all those rejoice who put their trust in You, let them ever shout for joy, because You defend them; let those also who love Your name be joyful in You. For you will bless the righteous, with favor You will surround him as with a shield.”

Psalm 7:1 – 2 (NKJV)

“O LORD my God, in You I put my trust; save me from all those who persecute me; and deliver me, lest they tear me like a lion, rending me in pieces, while there is none to deliver.”

Psalm 9:9 – 10 (NKJV)

“The LORD also will be a refuge for the oppressed, A refuge in times of trouble. And those who know Your name will put their trust in You, For You, LORD, have not forsaken those who seek You.”

We seek Him and He never forsakes us. This is a promise! You can look all through the book of Psalm and find verse after verse about trusting in God. If you have trouble trusting God, I encourage you to look and study the Word of God for yourself and find out what it says about trusting God.

The more we trust God, the more we won’t be swayed by negative thoughts in our minds. Thoughts will turn into strong emotions, and strong emotions will make us act. What thoughts are filling your mind right now? If you “feel” the need to act impulsively it is a sign that you are allowing your emotions to overtake you. It is a true symptom of emotional sickness.

To get rid of emotional sickness is part of revival because it frees us from the bondage our emotions can shackle us with. Emotions truly can prevent us from experiencing all that God wants to give us. Allow God to revive your emotions by healing your emotional sickness. Give God back control of your driver seat of your life and sit in the passenger seat and enjoy the scenery. Get ready for a adventurous ride of your life.

7 THINGS THE EMOTIONALLY STRONG DO

Emotionally weak people suffer tremendously. Being clingy or needy for love, acceptance or attention, they do things that they should not do and accept things that they should not. Inevitably, it generates in them a whole range of negative emotions (e.g. fear, anger, sadness, despair, guilt, doubt, depression, jealousy and shame) that slowly, but surely, destroys them from the inside out. Indeed, it is now well acknowledged that emotions greatly affect the way our body functions. Consequently, the emotionally weak suffer not only emotionally, but also physically.

In the end, even their spiritual well-being is impacted, which is very dangerous. It is therefore important to know what the emotionally strong do to live their life with power.

What are the 7 critical things the emotionally strong do?

  1. Emotionally strong people DO NOT BEG FOR LOVE

They receive all the love they need to function well as human beings directly from God. They know in their hearts that only their Father in heaven can love them with an uncontaminated and unconditional love. Additionally, they are aware of the fact that only He has their best interests at ALL times.

John 3:16  

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

Romans 8:37-39 

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Zephaniah 3:17

The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.

Continually receiving love from God, they feel accepted for who they are and experience strong feelings of self-worth. They are certain of their value and know that they matter, that they have a critical role to play in the overall plan of God for humanity. This makes their lives meaningful and truly worth living.

Filled with God’s love, they rapidly become givers of love, rather than takers of it. In other words, God’s love flows through them to others and nourishes them spiritually, emotionally, physically and mentally. When all is said, emotionally strong people do not beg for love: rather, they generously give love to others.

2. Emotionally strong people ARE NOT AFRAID TO LOVE OTHERS

They do not love others in order to be loved in return or be accepted by them, but simply because loving others is a key part of what defines them. And they love others, not as the world (or Hollywood) would like them to, but as God wants them to. Basically, they love others by treating them as they would have them do to them. This is the golden rule of love.

Mark 12:30 – 31 NKJV

And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength. This is the first commandment. And the second, like it, is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.

Not being dependent on others for their love, joy – and I should add peace – they can love others without being afraid to be rejected or hurt. They know very well that not everybody will respond to their (unconditional) acts of love in a proper way. However, this sad fact does not prevent them from giving love as much as they can. They do not focus on those cases for which their love was not received, but solely on those cases for which their love was appreciated. Even if 99 percent of their acts of love produce no results whatsoever, they take great joy in the fact that the remaining 1 percent helped transform the lives of receptive people.

3. Emotionally strong people FORGIVE QUICKLY AND COMPLETELY

Acknowledging that they needed God’s forgiveness to be with God, they quickly forgive others. In fact, they do so whether or not people ask for their forgiveness. They know that it is not worth spending any amount of mental and emotional energy on evil pursuits, and that by holding grudges they end up hurting themselves even more.

Being wise, they eagerly activate the power of forgiveness in order to free themselves from the chains that Satan tried to put around their hearts and minds. They know that in the vast majority of the cases, people do things to them without really knowing what they do because they might be spiritually blind or unaware of facts.

Col. 3:13 The Message Bible

Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you.

4. Emotionally strong people DO NOT RETALIATE OR TAKE REVENGE

Rather than retaliate and take revenge, emotionally strong people let God defend them and render them justice in due course.

Romans 12:19 NLT

Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back,” says the Lord.

They do not want to spread more hatred, animosity, bitterness, resentment, averseness and vindictiveness than already exist in this dark world. They know that they have already won the war against the powers of darkness thanks to what Jesus accomplished on the cross, and that God is the person best placed to render them justice for only He has a bigger view of things and of the evil forces that influence and deceive people.

I should add here that if we have been offended or hurt by someone, then it is also because we are not as strong emotionally yet as we should be. Indeed, the emotionally strong do not let their pride push them to be hurt by the behavior of people. We live in a dark world, and we are bound to be the recipients of sins committed by others against us. We cannot let those sins impact us so much that they destroy us through revenge and unforgiveness.

As Paul told us in Ephesians 6:12, we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities and spiritual forces. To combat sin, whether committed by others, or by ourselves, we should use the spiritual weapons that God put at our disposal: the belt of truth, the helmet of salvation, the shield of faith and the sword of the Spirit. (Ephesians 6:10-20)

Let me be completely honest with you now: if you want to take revenge personally or have been truly hurt by someone, then it shows that you care more about a situation than you should. Remember that you are not of this world anymore, and that this world, as we know it, will be completely destroyed before being totally recreated. Be detached from anything that this world can offer you, like an inflated ego, fame, and the like.

 

5. Emotionally strong people DO NOT ALLOW OTHERS TO BRING THEM DOWN

Being completely aware of who they are in Christ and of the immense value they have in the eyes of God, they do not let their worth depend on what others think of them. Their self-worth does not fluctuate, be it upwards or downwards. To put it differently, they are resilient to what people think or say about them, and this resilience helps them to continue to love others when they are the subject of criticisms, gossips and personal attacks.

Luke 6:32 NIV

“If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them.”

 

6. Emotionally strong people DO NOT FEAR THE FUTURE OR LIVE IN THE PAST

The emotionally strong know that God is their sole provider and that they will never be in want. They are also full of hope, and envision only a future dominated by victories rather than defeats. They do not dread anything, but look forward to the future with positive expectations.

They do not know all that the future holds for them, but they know without the shadow of a doubt:

Romans 8:28 NIV

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

They can only be in peace, having no reason whatsoever to look at the future with fear. Even death is not an issue for them, for they know that it is not the end of life, but the beginning of a new and better one, where there will be no more pain, nor crying, nor tears, nor sickness, any more.

Revelations 21:4 NKJV

And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.

As to the past, the emotionally strong can look at it without being impacted by it. Whether their past was glorious or filled with afflictions, defeats and pain, they know that when they gave their lives to Jesus, they became new creatures. They also understand that they have to live as a new creature, and thus in the present, in order to claim all the abundance that they are entitled to following the death and resurrection of their Lord, Jesus.

For them, the past is… all gone and must be left behind. They move, not backwards, but forward, and with high expectancy. They do not waste time analyzing the past or regretting some of their past decisions. Rather, they seek to acquire godly wisdom and to renew their thoughts for they know that it is the key to their continual transformation into the likeness of Christ.

7. Emotionally strong people DO NOT DO THINGS THEY DON’T WANT TO DO

They find out what they are good at and focus on their strengths. They are mentally strong and emotionally strong to say “No” when needed. This helps them reach their full potential.

Yes, we all have to do things we don’t like to do, but the emotionally strong never do things they do not really want to do. They are so filled with God’s love, Spirit and wisdom that they actually want to do the things that God commands them to do in the Bible.

They may not love every second of it, but they nevertheless enjoy being stretched and challenged because they know that it will bring them one step closer to being more like Christ.

Furthermore, they do not do things to win the approval of others, but simply to fulfill their passion, which is to express in practical ways God’s love to others. They may therefore volunteer to buy food for an elderly person, or to tutor a child, or to offer to babysit in order to give some parents a welcome break.

What’s more, with them, a “yes” means yes, and a “no” means no. This avoids them from making promises that they will not be able to keep. Furthermore, the emotionally strong do not gossip nor lie. They have no need to feel superior or to put others down, are not envious of the success, popularity, or talents of others, and do not need to be the center of attention. Having been saved, they want others to be saved or to sanctify themselves more. When in need, they turn to God. Period.

Conclusion

If you are currently emotionally weak, I urge you not to turn this characteristic into a crutch that you will keep holding onto for the rest of your life. And please quit making excuses for yourself or others. It only makes you more emotionally weak.

It does not matter where you come from, what you went through and the habits you had till your new birth, you can overcome your negative emotions and take captive your thoughts. Yes, you can. As a born-again believer, you are equipped with supernatural powers and abilities. If you stop nourishing your negative emotions (the ones that live in the old you) and start feeding the positive emotions that reside in the new you, soon you will develop an emotional strength that you did not imagine you had.

Believe in yourself and in the power that lives in you. If you have accepted Christ as your Savior and Lord, then you believe that He has been raised from the dead. Do you have that faith? Now, guess what? The same power that raised Jesus from the dead can help you win the fight against your emotional weakness. You have to believe that as well. If you do, and are ready to admit your emotional weaknesses and exercise your faith muscles, then you can embark on the road that leads to emotional transformation.

God is bigger than our emotions. You do not have to live the rest of your life emotionally weak. You can be the person that God created you to be. As you develop emotional strength, you will enjoy more abundance in your life and become a more powerful source of blessings for others.

All you need for your emotional transformation is already in the new you. Do you believe it? Will you then act upon this truth and belief? I hope so because you deserve a better life than the one you currently enjoy. Do not quit on yourself. Stand up spiritually and claim your emotional strength.

Your Sister in Christ,

Pastor Kris Belfils

www.krisbelfils.com

www.krisbelfils.wordpress.com

www.hopefellowshipspokane.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sources: Pastor Kris Belfils and Serge Roux-Levrat

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Overcome Or Be Overcome – Part 2 (Are You A Hoarder?)

UN-FORGIVENESS IS…

1. Un-forgiveness is Disobedience

2. Un-forgiveness gives Satan an advantage over us.

3. Un-forgiveness is Bondage.

4. Un-forgiveness is Poison.

Un-forgiveness is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die. Being mad at another person only hurts you. You might pull away from the other person thinking that you are punishing them, but you are really putting yourself in prison and drinking poison. Every time you think about what happened, instead of getting angry, start to pray for them.

Mat 5:44 KJV

“But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;”

Don’t hold on to feelings of bitterness and resentment and let them poison your future. Let go of those hurts and pains. Forgive the people who did you wrong. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you have made. You may even need to forgive God for allowing it to happen to you.

You will never be truly happy as long as you harbor bitterness in your heart. You will wallow in self-pity, always feeling sorry for yourself, thinking that life hasn’t dealt you a fair hand. You must let go of those negative attitudes and the accompanying anger. Change the channel of your thinking and start focusing on the goodness of God.

CHANGE THE CHANNEL

We all know how to use the remote control to change the channels on the TV. If we see something we don’t like, no big deal – we just flip channels. We need to learn how to mentally change channels when negative images of the past pop up in our minds unexpectedly. Unfortunately, when some people see those negative experiences on their minds’ “screens,” instead of quickly changing the channels, they pull up a chair and get some popcorn, as though they’re going to watch a good movie. They willingly allow themselves to relive all those hurts and pains. Then they wonder why they are depressed, upset, or discouraged. They wonder why they NEVER get over it. Learn to change the channel. Don’t let your mind or your emotions drag you down into despair. Instead, dwell on the good things God has done in your life.

How do we overcome un-forgiveness?

1. TAKE THE GARBAGE OUT ON A REGULAR BASIS!!!

Don’t allow this junk to fester. Don’t pet the pity monster or it will get bigger.

2. WALK IN LOVE

Un-forgiveness is the opposite of love. What legacy are you leaving behind when you die? When you pass away people will not esteem you and remember you fondly for being standoffish or filled with un-forgiveness. NO! They will remember you for the love and warmth you showed to them and others. Forgiveness is a choice; based on obedience of God’s command, that is clearly set forth in His Word… that we “walk in love”.

Think about being out in your yard, watering your garden and your flowers, and you get a kink in the hose… the water stops flowing. If you don’t water your flowers and plants, eventually they will die. Here you are, you have ten million gallons of water sitting in a water tower somewhere, but one little twist, a kink in the hose stops it from flowing.

Listen: We have all of God’s power, God’s blessing, and God’s grace, but a kink, a twist in your heart, of bitterness or un-forgiveness can stop it from flowing in your life. It is important that we get all of those areas free, and the river of life flowing at all times. We have to remember that; out of the heart flow the issues of life. Guard your heart, keep it with all diligence, Solomon said.

We know that Jesus dealt with the inner man, the “hidden man of the heart“, as Peter referred to it. Paul spoke of the inner man, guarding and keeping on the inside.

We are living in an hour where the Holy Spirit is saying: “walk in love.”

Eph 5:2  (KJV)

“And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling savour.”

I like how the Message Bible states this verse…

Eph 5:2 (MSG)

“Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn’t love in order to get something from us, but to give everything of himself to us. We need to love like that.”

3.     WE FORGIVE OTHERS THROUGH GOD’S FORGIVENESS FOR US!

How can we forgive? Where do we get the strength? We get it through God’s forgiveness for us. He forgave through the death of His Son, Jesus Christ on the cross. Because He forgave us, when Jesus died and bore our sins and took our penalty, was crucified and buried and then raised from the dead, so that God could offer forgiveness and salvation to every person. This is our pattern, our example, and our help, through faith and obedience to forgive others.

Close your eyes right now. See Jesus on the cross crucified. Do you see his wounds? Can you see the effects of the beatings and lashes he took? Do you see the blood coming down off His forehead where the crown of thrones was placed? Do you see the nails in his hands and feet? Do you see the anguish and love on his face? Place the person who has wounded you into the wounds of Jesus. He died for your sins and those done to you. Have a conversation with the Lord, and choose to forgive “anyone” and “everyone” who has ever offended you. He may bring to your remembrance people who have hurt you and you have not yet forgiven. Speak out of your mouth, through faith, that you choose to forgive and let it go.

Whenever that person comes to your mind, and you think of how you were hurt or offended, or even destroyed, remind yourself that you have chosen to forgive, and each time it will get easier because the Lord will give you the strength. Once you have done this, and choose to walk in love through faith and obedience in the future, hold on to your chair because the Lord will begin to release all those things you have been believing Him for. Weed the garden of your heart and keep all things that are not of love far away from you.

Ephesians 4:31

“Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor (quarreling) and evil speaking be put away from you with all malice (malice gets into that area of hatred because of bitterness and resentment).” 

Notice these are all cousins, they are all related, and they are in the un-forgiveness family. Bitterness, wrath, anger, quarreling, evil speaking (talking ugly about people you are bitter against, you say vile things, slanderous reports, remarks that degrade) and malice (angry hatred) let it be put away (this means to get rid of it; get over it; deal with it; overcome it) it is a command from the Lord.

Eph. 4:32

“And become useful and helpful and kind to one another, tenderhearted (compassionate, understanding, loving-hearted), forgiving one another [readily and freely], as God in Christ forgave you.”

In verse 32, the Lord commands us to be kind toward one another, tenderhearted, and forgiving. So don’t just get rid of it, but put positive things in its place. Replace being bitter, angry, speaking evil, and unforgiving with love, mercy, grace, self-control, and forgiveness.

Ephesians 32, continues …as God in Christ forgave you.”

♥God was willing to forgive you before you even thought about repenting.

♥Jesus didn’t wait to die on the cross until after you decided to repent. He died on the cross long before you thought about repenting. He chose to forgive you.

♥If we choose to forgive, as God forgave us, then when are we actually going to forgive?

♥God’s forgiveness is based on His love. It is not based on that person’s response, actions, or repentance.

♥It doesn’t matter what that person does or doesn’t do in order to bring you to forgiveness. It is not about the other person and what they need to do.

♥It’s our being the bigger person and forgiving, that will allow restoration with people who don’t yet know how, or even deserve it.

♥You say “how can I forgive them, they don’t even want my forgiveness, they might not even be alive today.” It doesn’t matter, your choosing to love and to forgive is not based on their response, it is based on God’s love that is inside of you. It is based on what you need to do to be set free from the torment un-forgiveness brings.

♥Forgiveness is a decision not a feeling. We speak our choice to walk in love, and God will give us the strength to let it go. Even if you have to speak out that choice over and over again; “I choose to forgive!” it is better then holding it all in and ignoring it.

Remember you are walking in obedience to God when you choose to forgive. This pleases His heart, and the sin that separated you from God is gone and you become closer to Christ.

♥It wasn’t a suggestion, it wasn’t a pick and choose which person you want to forgive and who you will not; it was a command of God to put away anger, malice, strife, and get rid of it – and learn how to walk in love by keeping it out of your life.

4. BE UNDERSTANDING

We don’t know what that other person has gone through. Don’t say he doesn’t deserve your understanding. Don’t be quick to judge and condemn them in the court of your mind. There is always a reason behind every action. The real purpose in understanding is to help us see the difference between the sin and the sinner. Don’t try to understand the other person. Try instead to be understanding. Forgiveness brings restorations. We are commanded to dwell together in unity!

Psa 133:1-3 KJV

“Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity! It is like the precious ointment upon the head, that ran down upon the beard, even Aaron’s beard: that went down to the skirts of his garments.” 

The Bible says, even though you “understand all mysteries and all knowledge but have not love, you are nothing” (1 Cor. 13). Be understanding. This is what love is. Love is an open, listening ear. Love is a warm, accepting heart. Love is an understanding friend.

Col. 3:12 – 14 

“Accept life, and be most patient and tolerant with one another, always ready to forgive if you have a difference with anyone. Forgive as freely as the Lord has forgiven you. And, above everything else, be truly loving, for love is the golden chain of all the virtues.”

Again the Message Bible says it well…

Col 3:12-14 MSG

“So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.” 

Understanding doesn’t mean you agree with the other person or what they did. Understanding is not unconditional acceptance, but it is acceptance in any condition, in any situation.

5. LEARN TO VALUE OTHERS

All their strengths and weaknesses. No body is perfect! Don’t expect others to be perfect.

Look at that unforgivable person in your life. They are human. They are someone whom Christ died for. No one whom Christ died for can be my enemy. If I love God, how can I keep from loving my brother?

1 John 4:20-21 HCSB

“If anyone says, “I love God,” yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For the person who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And we have this command from Him: the one who loves God must also love his brother.”

Before you write off the other person stop and think…

♥No one is too low to be an object of God’s love.

♥No one (however evil) is excluded from the forgiveness of God – only if they choose to walk away from it.

♥No one can be considered worthless, when Christ—God Himself—died for them.

♥No one is unlovable—if God loves them, then God can love him through me!

CONCLUSION:

WHAT TRASH DO YOU HAVE?

We all are human. That means we are not perfect. There might be past experiences that have hurt us, or attitudes we’ve developed that are not healthy and need to change. There might be memories that we need to give to God and allow Him to heal, so He can bring closure and help you forgive and get beyond it. These “issues” are the trash that we need to empty from our hearts. They are issues in our life that have built up through time, which will only cause stench if we do not take care of them.

What is stinking in your life?

Are there areas that you have not given up to God? Are there people that you have not forgiven? Do you need to forgive yourself? Do you harbor bitterness, anger, or resentment? Do you have self-righteousness piled up like dirty rags? Do you have pride stinking in your life? Have you not given God control of your life totally and completely? Do you see how you’ve tried to manipulate people or circumstances? Do you have fear built up that paralyzes you? Maybe you are an approval addict and now you see it for the first time. Do you criticize or judge people? Do you always look at the negative or look for the negative report? Do you see your lack of trust for God and want to start learning how to trust Him again? Do you find yourself always complaining? Maybe you don’t have a forgiveness issue, but you have actions or attitudes that you need to change to be more like Jesus. We all have areas in our lives that need God’s tender touch to bring change. Be encouraged to lay down your desires and dreams and allow God to direct your every step.

THE TRASH WILL NOT GO AWAY BY ITSELF!

Wishing the trash would go out will not get the trash out. Hoping the trash would be gone will not get the trash out. Even ignoring the trash will not prevent it from stinking up our homes. This is the same in our spiritual lives. We can wish, hope, or even try to ignore the issues in our hearts that keep coming up, but it will never go away until we turn it over to the Master Garbage Man and let Him take it all away. You will be surprised and stand amazed at what God will do as you yield your life totally to Him. He has a plan for your life and He is just waiting for you to let Him have the steering wheel to take you places you’ve never dreamed before.

Can you think of any Trash that has been piling up in your life? No matter how much trash you have, God has a container bigger! The key is to put your trash out and leave it there. As you do, your life will smell fresher and look cleaner because the Master Garbage Man has come and taken away all the trash that you have left out for Him. You can trust God to take it all away. He is faithful. He will make something new and fresh out of something that was thrown away or forgotten. Then your trash will not overcome you but you will overcome the trash!!

Your sister in Christ,

Pastor Kris Belfils

www.krisbelfils.com

www.hopefellowshipspokane.com

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How To Handle Disappointments

Disappointments happen to us everyday. We put our expectations into something or someone, and when those expectations are not fulfilled, we become disappointed. Sports teams experience disappointments all the time. One team wins, and the other loses. The one who loses, I am sure, are disappointed at the outcome because they wanted to win.

Disappointment is the feeling of dissatisfaction that follows the failure of expectations or hopes to manifest. (Wikipedia.com)

dis·ap·point  (thefreedictionary.com)

1.To fail to satisfy the hope, desire, or expectation of.

2. To frustrate or thwart

3. To fail to meet the expectations, hopes, desires, or standards of; let down

4. To prevent the fulfillment of (a plan, intention, etc.); frustrate; thwart

Disappointments = Expectations not being met

Disappointments have the same flavor as regrets. The difference is that regrets usually have to do with the choices you make, while disappointments have to do with the outcome of what you put your expectations in. It usually means you didn’t get what you wanted or hoped for.

React in our flesh

The word “flesh” refers to self-nature or human nature or self-effort. To walk after the flesh is to do your own desires, usually it is the easy way out or it pleases you in an ungodly way.  Joyce Meyer states in “Living Beyond Your Feelings,” that “The nature of the flesh is to want what it thinks it cannot have, but once it has what it thought it wanted, the craving starts all over again. The one word that the flesh screams the loudest is more, and no matter how much it has, it is still never satisfied.” This reminds me of an older movie called, “Little Shop Of Horrors.” In it Seymour has a plant that needs to be fed all the time. When Seymour feeds it, the plant gets bigger and bigger and is never satisfied. It eventually takes over his home. This is exactly what happens when we feed our flesh instead of our spirit. The flesh is never satisfied and the more you feed it the bigger and more demanding it becomes.

It is natural to react to disappointments in our flesh. We might hold a grudge against someone who has let us down or has hurt us. Holding a grudge has a downward spiral attached to it. Holding a grudge is un-forgiveness and that is a sin.

Disappointments

a.  We put up walls. 

This happens often. We put up walls and don’t talk to someone or even totally close off all communication. I know because I have done this. It feels “right” at the time and it gives us a sense of control. We felt out of control when the disappointment came. There might not have been any thing we could have done to fix or change the outcome. It is a huge frustration to live with an outcome you didn’t have in your plans. It is very hard to live with circumstances someone else chose for you.

b.  We get mad at God

It is easy to get mad at God thinking He could have prevented what happened. Reality is God had nothing to do with it. People are given free will and they make choices all the time. Their choices might not line up with your choices or what you planned. Often authority figures over our life can make a choice that affects us. Our hands are tied as to the outcome. We can easily blame God, quit our job, or distance ourselves from this person or cituation. All of these choices are not good choices.

 c.  We get mad at ourselves

Handling disappointments is a process. Don’t get mad at your self if you are not over it quickly. It takes time to heal and to regroup after a disappointment. Give yourself permission to relax and allow God to heal you, and learn to worship in the middle of the Disappointment.

d.  We show emotion or get depressed

Often it is natural to be upset or get depressed when something happens that has disappointed or hurt you. There is a grieving process whenever there is a loss of any kind. There are 5 stages of grief when a loved one dies that can be applied to what we experience after a disappointment:

5 Stages of Grief or Loss

  1. Denial and Isolation
  2. Anger
  3. Bargaining
  4. Depression
  5. Acceptance

Video: “Stages of Grief”

Disappointment quotes:

We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope. – Martin Luther King Jr

Disappointments are to the soul what a thunderstorm is to the air.  – Friedrich Schiller

Our best successes often come after our greatest disappointments.  – Henry Ward Beecher

Our real blessings often appear to us in the shape of pains, losses and disappointments; but let us have patience and we soon shall see them in their proper figures.  – Joseph Addison

How To Handle disappointments?

Let’s face it everyone will be disappointed from time to time. It is what we do; our actions or reactions, that determine our character. Often disappointments shape our character. It is in these times we need to quickly seek God to help us heal and to learn from them. Know that disappointments can help you grow. They make you stronger for your future. We can try and fight having disappointments but really it is futile because we can never control people or circumstances. This is not what God wants from us; a bunch of controlling, manipulating people.

Here are a few things I have personally learned when it comes to dealing with and handling disappointments, and I pray they help you:

  1. Run to God

Running to God, and venting your frustrations about your disappointments, is the very first things you should do after being disappointed. Telling Him how you feel is the best way to get it out. Stuffing your feelings inside of you only brings turmoil. God knows and sees everything. He was there when it happened. He wants us to run to Him with our disappointments.

1 Peter 5:7 (NKJV)

“Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.”

1 Peter 5:7 (Amplified Bible)

“Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully.” 

God hears our cry. Crying out to God is a form of running to Him. Here are just a few verses in the Bible about crying out to God:

2 Sam. 22:7 (NKJV)

“In my distress I called upon the Lord, And cried out to my God; He heard my voice from His temple, And my cry entered His ears.”

Psalm 18:6 (NKJV)

“In my distress I called upon the Lord, And cried out to my God; He heard my voice from His temple, And my cry came before Him, even to His ears.”

Psalm 30:2 (NKJV)

“O Lord my God, I cried out to You, And You healed me.”

Psalm 57:2 (NKJV)

“I will cry out to God Most High, To God who performs all things for me.”

Psalm 61:1 (NKJV)

“Hear my cry, O God; Attend to my prayer.”

Psalm 77:1 (NKJV)

“I cried out to God with my voice – To God with my voice; and He gave ear to me.”

God hears our cry and our humble plea moves His heart to action. Just the act of crying out to God brings healing, but to know God will move on our behalf brings security.

2.  Worship

Worship in the middle of the disappointment. Worshipping God takes our attention off of our circumstances and ourselves, and places our gaze, our focus on our Creator. Worship frees our spirit of the cares of this world. It puts life in perspective. Worship also helps us to place our trust in God in the middle of the disappointments.

Worshipping God reminds us of how good He really is. It helps build our faith to arise in us to overcome the disappointment.

Isaiah 52:17 – 19 

“His name shall endure forever; His name shall continue as long as the sun. And men shall be blessed in Him; All nations shall call Him blessed. Blessed be the LORD God, the God of Israel, Who only does wondrous things! And blessed be His glorious name forever! And let the whole earth be filled with His glory. Amen and Amen!”

God only does wondrous things! He will do wondrous things in your life as you place your cares upon Him. Don’t try to figure it out on your own. There are many things we can’t fix or change, but God has a plan. Even if it is teaching us to endure in the middle of the process of handling disappointments, we will come out the other side better for it and with much reward.

Psalm 28:6 – 7 (NKJV)

“Blessed be the Lord, Because He has heard the voice of my supplications! The Lord is my strength and my shield; My heart trusted in Him, and I am helped; Therefore my heart greatly rejoices, and with my song I will praise Him.”

Remind yourself of God’s faithfulness.

Psalm 42:5 (Message)

“Why are you down in the dumps, dear soul? Why are you crying the blues? Fix my eyes on God – soon I’ll be praising again. He puts a smile on my face. He’s my God.”

3.  Forgive

Release the person in your heart. Forgiveness takes away the power the other person continues to wield in your life, and it gives it back to you. Realize no body is perfect. If you are having trouble letting go of a grudge or to give forgiveness, talk to someone you trust, who will give you wise, Godly, and compassionate advice.

Forgiving is a process, at least it has been in my life. I would go through the stages of grief and then come to a place in my heart I was willing to forgive. Then I would even pray and might say it out loud; “I forgive _______ !” Then, something else would come up that would re-open the wound, and all the forgiveness I gave that person went out the window! I would have to come to the place in my heart to be willing to forgive again and then release them. Sometimes this happened over and over again. I knew the verses in the bible about forgiving seventy times seven (Matthew 18:22). I knew if I didn’t forgive my sins would not be forgiven (Matthew 6:12). These are things that motivated me to forgive, but the actual act of forgiving always seemed to take time. I finally gave myself permission that it was okay if I wasn’t at the place of forgiveness with them, knowing that was my ultimate goal.

Wounds take time to heal. Allow yourself the time it takes to be made whole again.

Jesus is my hero. He went to the cross knowing what was in the hearts of people, and even forgave them in the middle of the act of being crucified. My spirit wants to be able to do that, but my flesh wins out more than not.

Some people don’t struggle with forgiving others. They look like they just shrug it off and have no issue, but deep down inside a wound was created and only God and time will bring true healing.

I came across a post on Facebook the other day that I think will help us all in the process of forgiving others who have disappointed or mistreated us. The post was from the “Called Magazine” and they stated:“TODAY’S CHALLENGE: Give someone who mistreated you a kind word (genuine compliment/encouragement) or a thoughtful gift. — CAN YOU DO IT?” This challenged me to reach out in the direction of someone who hurt me and say a kind word to them. It was a step in the right direction. Baby steps are better then not stepping forward at all, and even better then stepping backward deeper into un-forgiveness to becoming bitter and resentful.

I could go into a sermon all its own on this subject. This message is to bring us to the awareness that forgiveness may be needed if your disappointment has to do with someone letting you down.

4.  Break walls down

It is natural to harden our hearts to life; let alone to people. You might have tried and tried to do something and was disappointed every time. Putting up walls and isolating yourself is not the answer. It only makes your turmoil worse.

Life has been given to us to enjoy, not resent. God has blessed us with many blessings if we would just look for them. We have to break down any walls we have built up, or possibly want to build up, or we will dry up and never have a healthy life.

Have you ever been dehydrated? I have. Your body will tell you it is drying up by how you are feeling and the symptoms you are experiencing. Signs of dehydration are:

2% body fluid loss:

  • Thirst
  • Loss of Appetite
  • Dry Skin
  • Skin Flushing
  • Dark Colored Urine
  • Dry Mouth
  • fatigue or Weakness
  • Chills
  • Head Rushes

5% body fluid loss:

  • Increased heart rate
  • Increased respiration
  • Decreased sweating
  • Decreased urination
  • Increased body temperature
  • Extreme fatigue
  • Muscle cramps
  • Headaches
  • Nausea
  • Tingling of the limbs

10% body fluid loss: (Emergency help is needed immediately)

  • Muscle spasms
  • Vomiting
  • Racing pulse
  • Shriveled skin
  • Dim vision
  • Painful urination
  • Confusion
  • Difficulty breathing
  • Seizures
  • Chest and Abdominal pain
  • unconsciousness

This is what happens to us spiritually when we put up walls and isolate ourselves from the real issue that God wants us to deal with. We become unhealthy and the signs will be seen. I think you get the point. What happens in the natural is similar to the spiritual. We have to keep ourselves spiritually hydrated, which includes breaking down the walls of isolation and anger.

5.  Be positive

Refuse to allow negativity to become a part of you after you have been disappointed. It is so easy to speak negative words about the situation, people, or life in general after being disappointed. Being negative about your circumstance never brings healing or help. Ask God to help you look at the situation through His eyes and from His perspective. Look to see what you can learn from it. Have a positive attitude that life will change in time. Know what you are going through is just a little bump in the road compared to the bigger picture of eternity.

I am sure you have heard the saying, “ You can either get better or bitter.” This is so true. Be determined to get better and to focus on the positives in your life. These are God’s blessings in disguise. We forget the good when we are faced with some bad. Learn to encourage yourself in the Lord like David did.

Psalm 30:10 – 12 (NKJV)

“Hear, O LORD, and have mercy on me; LORD, be my helper!” You have turned for me my mo9urning into dancing; You have put off my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness, to the end that my glory may sing praise to You and not be silent. O LORD my God, I will give thanks to You forever.”

6.  Don’t try to get even  

Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t speak evil against them.

1 Thess 5:15 (Amplified Bible)

“See that none of you repays another with evil for evil, but always aim to show kindness and seek to do good to one another and to everybody.”

This is very hard to do I know. If you have spoken evil about someone you have been disappointed and hurt by, ask God to forgive you and to wipe away the words you have said. Be determined to stop yourself when you start to speak evil against someone.

7.  Walk on

Get to a place you love people but you are not devastated when they let you down. Know life will have challenges but be determined to keep going, especially in the middle of a challenge.

Move on and keep going in your life. Disappointments do not determine your future if you have the right perspective and determination.

Walking on doesn’t mean you trust the person who disappointed you. It does mean you are willing to move past it and keep going. If you decide you are giving up, the enemy wins and what is life if you choose to give up? Nothing!

Know there is life after disappointments. Even if the disappointment is a life change, God can make beauty from ashes!

Isaiah 61:3 (NKJV)

“To console those who mourn in Zion, to give them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they may be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.”

Your sister in Christ,

Pastor Kris Belfils

www.krisbelfils.com

www.hopefellowshipspokane.com