kindness

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Fruit of the Spirit – RECAP

Fruit of the Spirit RecapGal. 5:22 NKJV

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.”

What fruit are you producing? Fruit that looks good on the outside but is really bad on the inside? Fruit that is immature or not ripe? Fruit that is good? People will come and “pick” your fruit.

Immature (not ripe) fruit is thinking you are a wonderful person when in reality you walk immaturely in Christ and expect others to like your fruit. Immature fruit is walking around ignoring issues in your life and expecting good results. It is thinking everyone else is wrong and you are right.

We can really do a world of hurt for others if we don’t take care of any issues in our own life. Issues like; pride, complaining, gossip, un-forgiveness, and so much more, if not dealt with, will produce bitter, unripe, even toxic fruit.

If you want to live like Christ, and have given your heart to Him, there will be times of correction and rebuking. If you are like me, you know in your “knower” that you need to be corrected so that you produce the fruit of the spirit.

God chose us before we were even born. He had a purpose for our lives and that is to bear good fruit.

John 15:16 NASB

“You did not choose Me, but I chose you, and appointed you, that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain.”

Love

Love, as a fruit of the Spirit, is a verb. It’s not a feeling, and much like faith, if only expressed in words, it’s essentially meaningless. Though we like to hear the words “I love you” they mean nothing if not accompanied by loving action. Remember actions speak louder then words. Show your love to people with your actions.

1 Jn 4:7 – 8, 16

“Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. … So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.”

This simplifies the idea of abiding if we see it as abiding in love because God is love.

Love is from God, we don’t have this kind of love if we don’t know God. If we are abiding in love, keeping it always in the forefront of all our interactions and choices, we are abiding in God.

All that Jesus did was motivated by love. His love for the Father, and His love for others.

This selfless, humble love that washes feet, seeks to build others up, is foreign to the human nature and our culture, but by the example of Christ we can practice this kind of love, and through the power of the Holy Spirit we can achieve this kind of love.

1 Cor. 13: 4

“Love is patient and kind…”

This is the character of God. Patient and kind. Life is hard and we all need a place where we can lick our wounds, be ourselves, rest, and feel safe and cared for. That is what love is supposed to do.

Love makes us feel safe and soothed rather than pressured to perform, or live up to some standard. Love comforts us when we are struggling. Jesus said he will give us rest and peace. We all need to ask ourselves, do the people I love feel soothed by me? Can my loved ones completely let down their guard around me? Are they emotionally safe?

There will be times to love those who are hard to love. Loving people with the love God has given us makes it easy to love others.

1 Cor 13: 7

“Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

God bears with us, he believes in us, he hopes with us, and he endures our constant disobedience and wandering away from him.

Has God forgiven you of much? Then you should love Him much, and in turn, we should love others much. It is hard to produce any of the fruit of the spirit without love. Love binds all the fruit together.

Joy

Joy is deeper then happiness. Happiness deals with what is happening. Happiness depends on circumstance. Genuine joy, on the other hand does not depend on what’s happening. Joy is an inner sense of well-being that has nothing to do with circumstance. Joy is an inside Job.

God wants to produce the fruit of joy in all of us. Often it comes with trials and struggles. James says to “count it all joy” when we experience trials. Jesus went to the cross with joy. Joy is an inner strength. It is a knowing that God is with you and you can walk through anything that you face because you are not alone.

Too often people try to find false joy. They acquire things thinking that will give them joy (Ron’s uncle). Sometimes people think they have joy when their surroundings and needs are all met. Our surroundings change daily. Other times people place their joy in relationships. This is a big false joy.  People will come and go. They will let you down. They are unstable, but God is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

There are so many lasting things that bring true joy; our salvation, having a grateful heart, and trusting in God are just a few things.

Church remember: Pain, sorrow, trials, and tribulations, are temporary, but Joy is ETERNAL. Happiness is Outside, But Joy is Inside

Allow the fruit of Joy to grow inside of you. Walk in this promise daily. The Joy of the Lord is your strength! (Nehemiah 8:10)

Peace

Isaiah 26:3 Amplified Bible

“You will guard him and keep him in perfect and constant peace whose mind [both its inclination and its character] is stayed on You, because he commits himself to You, leans on You, and hopes confidently in You.”

This is how to keep yourself in perfect peace:

  1. Keep your mind stayed on God
  2. Commit yourself to God
  3. Lean on God and hope confidently in Him

Proverbs 3:5 – 6 Amplified Bible

“Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. In all your ways know, recognize, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths.”

Trying to reason everything out will take your peace away. We will have unanswered questions. Ask God to help you stop reasoning and begin to live by faith, leaning on and trusting in Him and not on your own understanding.

Peace, when your in the Kingdom, is not the absence of conflict, rather its the assurance that in the midst of conflict, the Father has things under control. Learn to have peace with people and peace with yourself.

1 Peter 3:10 – 11 Amplified Bible

“For let him who wants to enjoy life and see good days [good – whether apparent or not] keep his tongue free from evil and his lips from guile (treachery, deceit). Let him turn away from wickedness and shun it, and let him do right. Let him search for peace (harmony; undisturbedness from fears, agitating passions, and moral conflicts) and seek it eagerly. [Do not merely desire peaceful relations with God, with your fellowmen, and with yourself, but pursue, go after them!]”

Patience

Patience is not an ability to wait. Patience is a fruit of the Spirit that manifests while we are waiting. If patience doesn’t manifest in times of waiting, then we see the fruit of impatience.

It doesn’t matter why you are impatient. What matters is how you deal with it. Impatience is a counterfeit fruit. It can look like it is productive, but in reality, it only produces stress and turmoil for you and others. Impatience is very selfish. It only cares about itself.

James 1:4 Amplified Bible

“But let endurance and steadfastness and patience have full play and do a thorough work, so that you may be [people] perfectly and fully developed [with no defects], lacking in nothing.”

We should rejoice in difficult situations, knowing that through them God tests our faith to bring out patience. Trials do eventually produce patience, but first they bring all kinds of junk to the surface such as pride, anger, rebellion, self-pity, and complaining. We need to face and deal with these ungodly traits before patience can come forth.

Waiting destroys pride. If God gave us everything the minute we wanted it, we would be so proud and haughty, we’d think it was us. We would expect our way always. God makes us wait because He is testing us.

Colossians 3:12 NASB tells us to “put on patience.” That tells me that patience is something that I have to do on purpose. Just because I don’t feel patient doesn’t mean I have to be impatient. We must put on patience.

We can’t expect our clothes to come on our bodies all by themselves. We have to put them on. Likewise, it is the same with patience. We have to choose, to purpose to walk with patience everyday.

Kindness 

Kindness is the quality of being kind. Kindness is being friendly and warm-hearted. It is truly caring about others. It is treating fellow human beings with respect and being beneficial or an asset in someone’s life.

~Pastor Kris Belfils

Kindness goes a long way! People respond positively to kindness. You will win people over with kindness. Love and kindness always go together. Love and Kindness is the opposite of selfishness.

Jesus was motivated by love and kindness. He had compassion on people and moved to heal them. Jesus always receives us and he never rejects us. This character trait is something we need to have in our life. When we show kindness people see we are real and approachable. Kindness builds the Kingdom of God.

Proverbs 20:28 CEB

“Kindness and faithfulness protect the king; he supports his throne by kindness.” 

This shows that if we allow kindness and faithfulness into our lives we will be protected and supported. It is a good foundation to stand on instead of building on a weak foundation of sandy efforts, works, and manipulation.

We are fortified when we are friendly and generous. When we are approachable instead of being an island unto ourselves. People will be strengthened around you and feel secure.

Listen to people. Hear about their life. Don’t be so quick to interrupt and share your needs or something about yourself. People want to know you care about them. Listening is showing kindness.

Kindness costs us something. It costs us our flesh. We die to what we might want to say and change it to be what God wants us to say. We realize what we are thinking will possibly hurt or hinder someone and let it go, and in turn, we say things that build up. This is kindness.

1 Thess. 5:15 Amplified Bible

“See that none of you repays another with evil for evil, but always aim to show kindness and seek to do good to one another and to everybody.”

Goodness

The Greek meaning for goodness is: “Uprightness of heart and life, goodness, kindness” (Thayer Greek Definitions).

Goodness is the action that kindness brings. Goodness is what God is. God is Good. God can’t be anything else but good. Because He is good, he is waiting and looking for people to be good too.

Isaiah 30:18a Amplified Bible

“And therefore the Lord [earnestly] waits [expecting, looking, and longing] to be gracious to you; and therefore He lifts Himself up, that He may have mercy on you and show loving-kindness to you.”

Being gracious is being good. This is what God is constantly doing everyday.

Psalm 23:6 NKJV

“Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.”

Only goodness and mercy shall follow you all the days of your life. Only! Nothing bad, nothing negative.

Exodus 33:18 – 19 Amplified Bible

“And Moses said, I beseech You, show me Your glory. And God said, I will make all My goodness pass before you, and I will proclaim My name, The Lord, before you; for I will be gracious to whom I will be gracious, and will show mercy and loving-kindness on whom I will show mercy and loving-kindness.”

Moses asked to see God’s glory. God said he will make all His goodness pass before him. God’s glory is His goodness. That is such an awesome thought that Moses saw all of God’s goodness pass before him. God’s goodness, His glory, goes before us. When we show goodness we literally are showing God’s glory. We shine when we are good.

Each time you have an opportunity; be good to somebody. Don’t let one occasion pass you by to be good to somebody. If you want to be good to somebody, all you’ve got to do is listen to them.

Forgiving someone is being good to them, and yourself. Forgive people when they don’t deserve it. Before someone stops offending you, you can forgive them.

Remember whenever you are good to someone you shine God’s glory everywhere you go. This takes the pride out of us. We realize we are doing it for God and not our own glory. Shine for the King wherever you go by being good to others.

Faithfulness

A faithful person knows what God has put in their heart, and even though many times they feel like quitting, they don’t give up.

A faithful person is committed to doing whatever God tells them to do no matter what it costs them personally. If you start something, finish it!

A faithful person sees something all the way through to the end. There are so many divorces and so much job-hopping and church-hopping in society today because many people don’t understand what commitment means.

A faithful person understands that no matter where they may go to church they won’t like everything that happens. Stay where God has placed you. The way we grow is to stay planted in one place.

A faithful person arrives at their commitments early or at least on time. A foolish person is constantly late.

A faithful person is someone we can depend on – someone who shows up where they say they will be at the time they say they will be there, someone whom you can count on to do something they say they will do for you. Be a faithful person! Your reputation depends on it!

Too often we start out to do the right thing and then when we don’t get the right response we change and backtrack and do something else.

Galatians 6:9 KJV

“And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.”

Your faithfulness and stability benefits others. It helps build the Kingdom of God. It brings security in the hearts who are close to you. They know they can count on you.

God never gives up on us, and we should never give up. We especially shouldn’t be the kind of people that give up on something because it is hard.

Don’t expect to be promoted if you are unfaithful. Don’t expect to be promoted if you do what you want to do and not what you committed to do. Bosses, Pastors, Authority figures are looking for faithful people. Being faithful is doing the right thing over and over and over and over and over again.

Gentleness (Humility and meekness)

The word “Gentle” in the Noah Webster’s 1828 American Dictionary of the English Language: “Mild; meek; soft; bland; not rough, harsh or severe; as a gentle nature, temper or disposition; a tame; peaceable, not wild, turbulent or refractory, soothing, treating with mildness, not violent.”

Are you a gentle person? How do you respond when someone rubs you the wrong way? Are you rough, harsh, or wild in your response or are you meek, humble, and peaceable?

Phil. 4:5 NIV

“Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.”

This fruit of gentleness should be seen by the world, Christian and non-Christians alike should see you as a gentle person. Gentleness preserves us and brings peace.

Meekness is not weakness. Meekness requires great strength. What about Jesus? Scripture tells us that he was “led as a lamb to the slaughter” yet cleansed the temple with a whip! Jesus didn’t have to go to the cross. He said, “Don’t you know I can call on a legion of angles and they would deliver me.” But He humbled Himself under the mighty hand of God because He knew that was what God wanted Him to do and what was going to be best for everybody else.

Jesus didn’t use His power to get out of something but humbled Himself to go through something that He thought God wanted Him to go through. It would be like if somebody really did me dirty and it made me mad and I knew I had the ability to get them back but I refused to do that because I knew it wasn’t what God wanted me to do. That’s meekness. When you have the ability to do something but you won’t do it because you don’t believe that is what God wants you to do. Amen!

If you have the authority or ability to get even or hurt the other person who spoke badly about you this is what you need to do: Forgive, pray, and bless (FPB) and allow God to take care of the situation.

Self-Control

1 Timothy 1:7 Amplified Bible

“For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control.”

The Holy Spirit is not going to ZAP you with self-control, no, it has to be worked out in us. We have to learn to take it as our own and walk in it. It is virtually impossible to show forth the other eight fruit of the Spirit unless we walk in self-control.

How can we remain peaceful in the middle of an upsetting situation unless we exercise self-control?

Self-control allows us to be patient when we feel impatient. You don’t wait to feel patience, but choose to be patient.

How about faithfulness? People commit to do something when they’re in the height of emotions, and then when all the emotional stuff is over, they don’t feel like doing what they said they would do.

How about humility? How can I exercise humility without self-control? You can’t. Remember the “50 Fruits of Pride” we looked at when we were looking at Gentleness?

It takes a willing heart and courage to look at ourselves and see the areas we need to change in, but it is so worth the change. God can trust us with more. Our lives are more organized and blessed. We are not being lead by our emotions.

As we abide in the Vine, we will produce much fruit.

I challenge you to decide right now that you will live the remainder of your life giving glory to God in everything you do. As you make that decision and carry it out in your life, you will find your life to be exceptional beyond anything you could ever have imagined.

Love, joy, peace, faithfulness, kindness, patience, goodness, gentleness, and self-control are the elements that make our lives exceptional; they are a reward in themselves. We were born to display them, and we will never be like Christ or be fulfilled without them.

Pastor Kris Belfils

www.krisbelfils.com

www.hopefellowshipspokane.com

www.krisbelfils.wordpress.com

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Fruit of the Spirit – Kindness

KindnessGal. 5:22 NKJV

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.”

“Kind” in the Dictionary means: “Of a friendly, generous, or warm-hearted nature, showing sympathy or understanding; charitable, humane; considerate, forbearing; tolerant, generous; liberal, agreeable; beneficial.”

Kindness is the quality of being kind. Kindness is being friendly and warm-hearted. It is truly caring about others. It is treating fellow human beings with respect and being beneficial or an asset in someone’s life.

~Pastor Kris Belfils

Kindness goes a long way! People respond positively to kindness. You will win people over with kindness. Love and kindness always go together. Love and Kindness is the opposite of selfishness.

Jesus was motivated by love and kindness. He had compassion on people and moved to heal them. Jesus always receives us and he never rejects us. This character trait is something we need to have in our life. When we show kindness people see we are real and approachable.

Kindness builds the Kingdom of God. Our job is not to be in the demolition business. Our job is encouraging and building up others. What good is there in knocking others down with our words or actions? Absolutely nothing! Knocking someone down, even if they truly did something wrong to us, shows how possibly unstable, selfish, and immature we are as Christians. Showing love and kindness brings healing and reconciliation. Showing love and kindness is doing what Jesus did.

What takes away our kindness

1.  Being mean, grouchy, and uncaring. 

Maybe you are a nice kind person with a gentle sweet personality and being kind comes natural. But most of the world is not that way. We can change.

Proverbs 12:10 CEV

“Good people are kind to their animals, but a mean person is cruel.”

Proverbs 14:14 Message

“A mean person gets paid back in meanness, a gracious person in grace.”

Proverbs 11:17 NIRV

“A kind man benefits himself. But a mean person brings trouble on himself.”

Just being too tired can make you mean, grouchy, and uncaring. Take the time to take care of yourself. Make sure you get the right amount of sleep each night. Don’t stay up late the night before something important, especially if it is a Saturday night and you have church the next day. Be kind to your pastor and go to bed at a decent hour so you are ready for church in the morning.

Sometimes it is someone’s demeanor to always be mean. If you are a mean person, you can change.

We can change because God has equipped us in our inner man to change.

Every time you walk in one of the fruit of the Spirit and you do it, you become stronger in that area and it becomes easier to do the next time.

We don’t have to stay angry and mean. Choose to be kind. Allow God to help change you from the inside out.

2.  Being too busy.

Philippians 2:21 (NET) New English Translation

“For all seek their own, not the things which are of Christ Jesus.”

Seeking our own is being too busy for others and only caring about yourself. This is not how Jesus acted. What if Jesus was too busy to be kind to you?

When we are too busy we don’t have time to be kind to others. We need to tell ourselves to relax and enjoy the journey. Far too often people are in a hurry to be or get somewhere in life. More so I am talking about a career or advancement. Striving for more can exclude others. What good is it to advance if you have no one there to share it with? Your job, career, ministry, and life are not as important as being kind to others.

People are God’s priority. What is yours? We can put things or opportunity above being kind and good to others and it only makes you look selfish and mean.

Check your priorities, and check them often. If you are too busy to help others you have your priorities in the wrong place. When we put God first, all other priorities fall into place.

If you focus on getting what you want, it will just make you more selfish. But if you focus on God and the fruit of the spirit, then that is what will be developed in your life.

3.  Being unforgiving

Holding onto a grudge or not forgiving others immediately takes away your kindness. It is hard to be kind to someone who has hurt you. Interestingly this is what the Bible calls us to do.

Matthew 5:44 NIRV

“But here is what I tell you. Love your enemies. Pray for those who hurt you.”

Pray for those who hurt me? OUCH! This seems totally opposite of how we feel. God knows what it will take to overcome the hurt and bring healing. We are asked to pray for those we are offended with. It is hard. But there is a reason why God requires this. It is because it changes our perspective towards the offender. Our view on them after the offense is negative and uncaring. When we pray for people who have hurt us our view point changes towards them. We start to have compassion for them. This is kingdom living.

God has changed me and I am not the person I use to be. In my old condition, there was not room for the fruit of the Spirit to truly manifest. Now, allowing God to change and heal me of my past, there is a healthier tree to produce healthier fruit. I have learned to abide in the vine! This is what we all need to do. We can’t bear fruit on our own, only by abiding in Jesus will we produce much fruit.

John 14:11 NKJV

“I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away, and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit.”

Looks to me like we are pruned if we don’t abide, and pruned if we do. I would rather be pruned to bear more fruit then to be cut off and discarded because I chose to not abide.

2 Peter 1:7 – 8 NKJV

“…to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love. For if these things are yours and abound, you will be neither barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

This is a command for us to have brotherly kindness and to add to that, love. This helps us to forgive those who have wronged us.

We add these virtues not only for ourselves, but for others. Our lives affect many. What fruit are you producing that others can pick?

It is easy to get selfish and uncaring about others. It is hard to live in this selfish world and not have it affect us. That is why we have to put on faith and love and to be kind to one another.

How we should live

1 Thess. 5:8 Amplified Bible

“But we belong to the day; therefore, let us be sober and put on the breastplate of faith and love and for a helmet the hope of salvation.”

Again, we are to put on faith and love. We are to put on salvation like a helmet. This protects and surrounds us and our thinking.

Did you know kindness protects and supports our life?

Proverbs 20:28 CEB

“Kindness and faithfulness protect the king; he supports his throne by kindness.” 

This shows that if we allow kindness and faithfulness into our lives we will be protected and supported. It is a good foundation to stand on instead of building on a weak foundation of sandy efforts, works, and manipulation.

How can kindness support us? Let us go back to the definition of the word “Kind”: “Of a friendly, generous, or warm-hearted nature, showing sympathy or understanding; charitable, humane; considerate, forbearing; tolerant, generous; liberal, agreeable; beneficial.”

We are fortified when we are friendly and generous. When we are approachable instead of being an island unto ourselves. People will be strengthened around you and feel secure.

Don’t pressure people when they do wrong. Yes, we are to correct if need be, but never make the other feel they blew it and there is no hope. Kindness is how we want to be treated (Do unto others as you would like them to do unto you Matthew 7:12), and kindness is how we should live.

We purpose to wear kindness and to give out that fruit daily. We have enough of it because it is growing and manifesting in us new everyday.

Listen to people. Hear about their life. Don’t be so quick to interrupt and share your needs or something about yourself. People want to know you care about them. Listening is showing kindness. Listening goes a long way.

1 Thess. 5:14 Amplified Bible

“And we earnestly beseech you, brethren, admonish (warn and seriously advise) those who are out of line [the loafers, the disorderly, and the unruly]; encourage the timid and fainthearted, help and give your support to the weak souls, [and] be very patient with everybody [always keeping your temper].”

Kindness costs us something. It costs us our flesh. We die to what we might want to say and change it to be what God wants us to say. We realize what we are thinking will possibly hurt or hinder someone and let it go, and in turn, we say things that will build up. This is kindness.

1 Thess. 5:15 Amplified Bible

“See that none of you repays another with evil for evil, but always aim to show kindness and seek to do good to one another and to everybody.”

The Apostle Paul, the writer of Thessalonians, wanted you to have the very best life that you can have. There are a lot of people who don’t know Christ so get over yourself and let your action and attitudes do the preaching.

This is a way to have a great life. show love, be at peace, show patience, show kindness, and seek to do good, and thank God in everything. No matter the circumstances.

We all have problems and we can react or act badly towards others because of them. Your problem that you think is the worse thing in the whole world, is not your problem, your problem is probably the way you are acting because of your problem.

Mercy is kindness and kindness is mercy. Mercy is a beautiful thing. Become nicer. Don’t be a mean Christian. MAKE A PLAN TO GO OUT AND BEHAVE YOURSELF.

Aim to show kindness and seek to do good! Powerful words to live by. This is how we should live everyday.

From one kind hearted person to another,

Pastor Kris Belfils

www.krisbelfils.com

www.hopefellowshipspokane.com

www.krisbelfils.wordpress.com

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Overcome Or Be Overcome – Part 2 (Are You A Hoarder?)

UN-FORGIVENESS IS…

1. Un-forgiveness is Disobedience

2. Un-forgiveness gives Satan an advantage over us.

3. Un-forgiveness is Bondage.

4. Un-forgiveness is Poison.

Un-forgiveness is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die. Being mad at another person only hurts you. You might pull away from the other person thinking that you are punishing them, but you are really putting yourself in prison and drinking poison. Every time you think about what happened, instead of getting angry, start to pray for them.

Mat 5:44 KJV

“But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;”

Don’t hold on to feelings of bitterness and resentment and let them poison your future. Let go of those hurts and pains. Forgive the people who did you wrong. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you have made. You may even need to forgive God for allowing it to happen to you.

You will never be truly happy as long as you harbor bitterness in your heart. You will wallow in self-pity, always feeling sorry for yourself, thinking that life hasn’t dealt you a fair hand. You must let go of those negative attitudes and the accompanying anger. Change the channel of your thinking and start focusing on the goodness of God.

CHANGE THE CHANNEL

We all know how to use the remote control to change the channels on the TV. If we see something we don’t like, no big deal – we just flip channels. We need to learn how to mentally change channels when negative images of the past pop up in our minds unexpectedly. Unfortunately, when some people see those negative experiences on their minds’ “screens,” instead of quickly changing the channels, they pull up a chair and get some popcorn, as though they’re going to watch a good movie. They willingly allow themselves to relive all those hurts and pains. Then they wonder why they are depressed, upset, or discouraged. They wonder why they NEVER get over it. Learn to change the channel. Don’t let your mind or your emotions drag you down into despair. Instead, dwell on the good things God has done in your life.

How do we overcome un-forgiveness?

1. TAKE THE GARBAGE OUT ON A REGULAR BASIS!!!

Don’t allow this junk to fester. Don’t pet the pity monster or it will get bigger.

2. WALK IN LOVE

Un-forgiveness is the opposite of love. What legacy are you leaving behind when you die? When you pass away people will not esteem you and remember you fondly for being standoffish or filled with un-forgiveness. NO! They will remember you for the love and warmth you showed to them and others. Forgiveness is a choice; based on obedience of God’s command, that is clearly set forth in His Word… that we “walk in love”.

Think about being out in your yard, watering your garden and your flowers, and you get a kink in the hose… the water stops flowing. If you don’t water your flowers and plants, eventually they will die. Here you are, you have ten million gallons of water sitting in a water tower somewhere, but one little twist, a kink in the hose stops it from flowing.

Listen: We have all of God’s power, God’s blessing, and God’s grace, but a kink, a twist in your heart, of bitterness or un-forgiveness can stop it from flowing in your life. It is important that we get all of those areas free, and the river of life flowing at all times. We have to remember that; out of the heart flow the issues of life. Guard your heart, keep it with all diligence, Solomon said.

We know that Jesus dealt with the inner man, the “hidden man of the heart“, as Peter referred to it. Paul spoke of the inner man, guarding and keeping on the inside.

We are living in an hour where the Holy Spirit is saying: “walk in love.”

Eph 5:2  (KJV)

“And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling savour.”

I like how the Message Bible states this verse…

Eph 5:2 (MSG)

“Mostly what God does is love you. Keep company with him and learn a life of love. Observe how Christ loved us. His love was not cautious but extravagant. He didn’t love in order to get something from us, but to give everything of himself to us. We need to love like that.”

3.     WE FORGIVE OTHERS THROUGH GOD’S FORGIVENESS FOR US!

How can we forgive? Where do we get the strength? We get it through God’s forgiveness for us. He forgave through the death of His Son, Jesus Christ on the cross. Because He forgave us, when Jesus died and bore our sins and took our penalty, was crucified and buried and then raised from the dead, so that God could offer forgiveness and salvation to every person. This is our pattern, our example, and our help, through faith and obedience to forgive others.

Close your eyes right now. See Jesus on the cross crucified. Do you see his wounds? Can you see the effects of the beatings and lashes he took? Do you see the blood coming down off His forehead where the crown of thrones was placed? Do you see the nails in his hands and feet? Do you see the anguish and love on his face? Place the person who has wounded you into the wounds of Jesus. He died for your sins and those done to you. Have a conversation with the Lord, and choose to forgive “anyone” and “everyone” who has ever offended you. He may bring to your remembrance people who have hurt you and you have not yet forgiven. Speak out of your mouth, through faith, that you choose to forgive and let it go.

Whenever that person comes to your mind, and you think of how you were hurt or offended, or even destroyed, remind yourself that you have chosen to forgive, and each time it will get easier because the Lord will give you the strength. Once you have done this, and choose to walk in love through faith and obedience in the future, hold on to your chair because the Lord will begin to release all those things you have been believing Him for. Weed the garden of your heart and keep all things that are not of love far away from you.

Ephesians 4:31

“Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor (quarreling) and evil speaking be put away from you with all malice (malice gets into that area of hatred because of bitterness and resentment).” 

Notice these are all cousins, they are all related, and they are in the un-forgiveness family. Bitterness, wrath, anger, quarreling, evil speaking (talking ugly about people you are bitter against, you say vile things, slanderous reports, remarks that degrade) and malice (angry hatred) let it be put away (this means to get rid of it; get over it; deal with it; overcome it) it is a command from the Lord.

Eph. 4:32

“And become useful and helpful and kind to one another, tenderhearted (compassionate, understanding, loving-hearted), forgiving one another [readily and freely], as God in Christ forgave you.”

In verse 32, the Lord commands us to be kind toward one another, tenderhearted, and forgiving. So don’t just get rid of it, but put positive things in its place. Replace being bitter, angry, speaking evil, and unforgiving with love, mercy, grace, self-control, and forgiveness.

Ephesians 32, continues …as God in Christ forgave you.”

♥God was willing to forgive you before you even thought about repenting.

♥Jesus didn’t wait to die on the cross until after you decided to repent. He died on the cross long before you thought about repenting. He chose to forgive you.

♥If we choose to forgive, as God forgave us, then when are we actually going to forgive?

♥God’s forgiveness is based on His love. It is not based on that person’s response, actions, or repentance.

♥It doesn’t matter what that person does or doesn’t do in order to bring you to forgiveness. It is not about the other person and what they need to do.

♥It’s our being the bigger person and forgiving, that will allow restoration with people who don’t yet know how, or even deserve it.

♥You say “how can I forgive them, they don’t even want my forgiveness, they might not even be alive today.” It doesn’t matter, your choosing to love and to forgive is not based on their response, it is based on God’s love that is inside of you. It is based on what you need to do to be set free from the torment un-forgiveness brings.

♥Forgiveness is a decision not a feeling. We speak our choice to walk in love, and God will give us the strength to let it go. Even if you have to speak out that choice over and over again; “I choose to forgive!” it is better then holding it all in and ignoring it.

Remember you are walking in obedience to God when you choose to forgive. This pleases His heart, and the sin that separated you from God is gone and you become closer to Christ.

♥It wasn’t a suggestion, it wasn’t a pick and choose which person you want to forgive and who you will not; it was a command of God to put away anger, malice, strife, and get rid of it – and learn how to walk in love by keeping it out of your life.

4. BE UNDERSTANDING

We don’t know what that other person has gone through. Don’t say he doesn’t deserve your understanding. Don’t be quick to judge and condemn them in the court of your mind. There is always a reason behind every action. The real purpose in understanding is to help us see the difference between the sin and the sinner. Don’t try to understand the other person. Try instead to be understanding. Forgiveness brings restorations. We are commanded to dwell together in unity!

Psa 133:1-3 KJV

“Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity! It is like the precious ointment upon the head, that ran down upon the beard, even Aaron’s beard: that went down to the skirts of his garments.” 

The Bible says, even though you “understand all mysteries and all knowledge but have not love, you are nothing” (1 Cor. 13). Be understanding. This is what love is. Love is an open, listening ear. Love is a warm, accepting heart. Love is an understanding friend.

Col. 3:12 – 14 

“Accept life, and be most patient and tolerant with one another, always ready to forgive if you have a difference with anyone. Forgive as freely as the Lord has forgiven you. And, above everything else, be truly loving, for love is the golden chain of all the virtues.”

Again the Message Bible says it well…

Col 3:12-14 MSG

“So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.” 

Understanding doesn’t mean you agree with the other person or what they did. Understanding is not unconditional acceptance, but it is acceptance in any condition, in any situation.

5. LEARN TO VALUE OTHERS

All their strengths and weaknesses. No body is perfect! Don’t expect others to be perfect.

Look at that unforgivable person in your life. They are human. They are someone whom Christ died for. No one whom Christ died for can be my enemy. If I love God, how can I keep from loving my brother?

1 John 4:20-21 HCSB

“If anyone says, “I love God,” yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For the person who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And we have this command from Him: the one who loves God must also love his brother.”

Before you write off the other person stop and think…

♥No one is too low to be an object of God’s love.

♥No one (however evil) is excluded from the forgiveness of God – only if they choose to walk away from it.

♥No one can be considered worthless, when Christ—God Himself—died for them.

♥No one is unlovable—if God loves them, then God can love him through me!

CONCLUSION:

WHAT TRASH DO YOU HAVE?

We all are human. That means we are not perfect. There might be past experiences that have hurt us, or attitudes we’ve developed that are not healthy and need to change. There might be memories that we need to give to God and allow Him to heal, so He can bring closure and help you forgive and get beyond it. These “issues” are the trash that we need to empty from our hearts. They are issues in our life that have built up through time, which will only cause stench if we do not take care of them.

What is stinking in your life?

Are there areas that you have not given up to God? Are there people that you have not forgiven? Do you need to forgive yourself? Do you harbor bitterness, anger, or resentment? Do you have self-righteousness piled up like dirty rags? Do you have pride stinking in your life? Have you not given God control of your life totally and completely? Do you see how you’ve tried to manipulate people or circumstances? Do you have fear built up that paralyzes you? Maybe you are an approval addict and now you see it for the first time. Do you criticize or judge people? Do you always look at the negative or look for the negative report? Do you see your lack of trust for God and want to start learning how to trust Him again? Do you find yourself always complaining? Maybe you don’t have a forgiveness issue, but you have actions or attitudes that you need to change to be more like Jesus. We all have areas in our lives that need God’s tender touch to bring change. Be encouraged to lay down your desires and dreams and allow God to direct your every step.

THE TRASH WILL NOT GO AWAY BY ITSELF!

Wishing the trash would go out will not get the trash out. Hoping the trash would be gone will not get the trash out. Even ignoring the trash will not prevent it from stinking up our homes. This is the same in our spiritual lives. We can wish, hope, or even try to ignore the issues in our hearts that keep coming up, but it will never go away until we turn it over to the Master Garbage Man and let Him take it all away. You will be surprised and stand amazed at what God will do as you yield your life totally to Him. He has a plan for your life and He is just waiting for you to let Him have the steering wheel to take you places you’ve never dreamed before.

Can you think of any Trash that has been piling up in your life? No matter how much trash you have, God has a container bigger! The key is to put your trash out and leave it there. As you do, your life will smell fresher and look cleaner because the Master Garbage Man has come and taken away all the trash that you have left out for Him. You can trust God to take it all away. He is faithful. He will make something new and fresh out of something that was thrown away or forgotten. Then your trash will not overcome you but you will overcome the trash!!

Your sister in Christ,

Pastor Kris Belfils

www.krisbelfils.com

www.hopefellowshipspokane.com