Fruit of the Spirit – Self-Control

Self-ControlThe Fruit of the Holy Spirit is one of the most important things we need to work on in our our walk with God. You have the fruit in you if you are a Christian. It has to be developed, it has to grow.

If we learn how to live in the Fruit of the Spirit it will bring tremendous ease and peace and fulfillment to our lives.

Gal. 5:22 – 23 Amplified Bible

“But the fruit of the [Holy] Spirit [the work which His presence within accomplishes] is love, joy (gladness), peace patience (an even temper, forbearance), kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness (meekness, humility), self-control (self-restraint, continence). Against such things there is no law [that can bring a charge].”

We will not operate in any of the fruit of the Spirit without self control. The fruit of the Spirit is not about how we feel, or about our personalities, but about what we choose to do.

If you wait to feel like being nice, then you may hit it occasionally on one of your good days, but most likely you will experience quite a few days when you don’t feel like being nice. You can be saved, full of the Holy Spirit and operate in many gifts, but there still will be times when you feel like smacking someone upside the head.

It takes self-control to be good, gentle, patient, and to love someone. We have to discipline our thoughts. We have to discipline our mouth. Maybe you don’t think that you have any discipline. Yes, you do! If you are saved, you have discipline and self-control within you. You may not have developed it, and you may not want to use it, but it is there.

 1 Timothy 1:7 Amplified Bible

“For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control.”

Let’s think about Peter walking on water for a minute. It was his love for God that prompted Peter to have a desire to come closer to Jesus. Peter refused to let a body of water keep him away from his Master.

Peter’s mind was made up once he got out of the boat. His mind was fixed on Jesus. He operated in complete self control by refusing to give into doubt. He didn’t have the spirit of fear or timidity, but of love for His Jesus and self control and a sound mind!

Looking back at that verse did it say, “well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control?” Yes, it did! But, before you get really discouraged thinking you can’t do it remember this; because self-control is a fruit of the Holy Spirit, it is the result of His help and grace, and the outworking of His life in the believer. That is the beauty of the fruit of the Holy Spirit. It is His working in us to help bring that fruit to maturity in all of us. He has His part and we have ours.

The Holy Spirit is not going to ZAP you with self-control, no, it has to be worked out in us. We have to learn to take it as our own and walk in it. We need to learn to be disciplined in all areas of our life.

I thank God for the fruit of self-control. We would be in an irreconcilable mess continually in our lives if God had not equipped us with this wonderful, helpful fruit. Don’t ever say, “I just have no self-control.” Begin to say what God’s Word says about you, “I have the fruit of self-control, and I am able to do whatever I need to do in any situation because God is my strength.”

What we focus on is what we develop in our life. Anything you don’t focus on will not be developed in your life.

If you have any areas in your life where you feel you need to use more self-control then this is the perfect place for you to be today!

Learn to be a good fruit inspector. When I go to the store and buy fruit I look it over. Cause I found out that sometimes just because a piece of fruit looks good on the outside that doesn’t mean that it is good on the inside. A lot of Christians can dress it up and take it to church and learn all the religious language but that doesn’t mean there is any fruit. A person is not spiritual just because they go to church, they are not spiritual just because they have a Bible, their not spiritual because they talk the talk or wear Christian t-shirts. You will know them by their fruit. We need to learn to pay much more attention to the fruit in people’s lives and we need to pay attention to the fruit in our own life.

Matthew 7:15 – 20 Amplified Bible

“Beware of false prophets, who come to you dressed as sheep, but inside they are devouring wolves. You will fully recognize them by their fruits. Do people pick grapes from thorns, or figs from thistles? Even so, every healthy (sound) tree bears good fruit [worthy of admiration], but the sickly (decaying, worthless) tree bears bad (worthless) fruit. A good healthy tree cannot bear bad (worthless) fruit, nor can a bad (diseased) tree bear excellent fruit [worthy of admiration]. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and cast into the fire. Therefore, you will fully know them by their fruits.”

Let me give you an example:

I just got off the phone with someone and it was a hard phone conversation. The other person proceeded to tell me why her and husband were not coming to church. Her words were upsetting me. The more we talked, the more I knew I had to end the conversation for my mental well being. Still this person expressed “in love” more of what she felt about myself and other people in our church. Many times when I talked to this person in the past she would tell me all the bad she thought about and seemed to do it with a smile on her face and her voice would drip with sweetness but the meaning of her words were evil and criticizing. For years I would put up with this, thinking I had to be nice and show mercy and grace and love towards her because that was the “Christian thing to do.” But this day, after I ended the conversation in tears, a friend of mine came to my door. She could see that I had been crying. I tried to act like I was okay, but she read right through me. Finally I shared briefly what had happened. The first words she said to me were, “What fruit is she producing?” Wow, an eye opener! I never thought about this person’s fruit, thinking that I might be judging them. But there is a difference.

Being a fruit inspector you look for what is healthy and able to bring nutrients and refreshing to the one who will partake of it. Judging someone is looking at their actions and behavior, but inspecting their fruit is looking at what happens after they act. Do they leave a wake of destruction behind them?

Before we look at anybody else, we first have to look at ourselves. Is there a wake of destruction behind your actions? What fruit are people picking from your tree? Let us be people who produce good healthy fruit for others to enjoy. Believe it or not your life can help others grow. My heart and my mission in life is to help people be transformed by the power of God. Too often in our churches today there are unhealthy, unripe, and spoiled fruit. You put all that unclean, rotten fruit into one basket and it will lead to spoiling the entire bunch. Why do we think we can sit in church and not deal with our rottenness? We can and do affect others. Remember one rotten apple can spoil the whole barrel. I don’t know about you, but I want to be the fruit that never affects others negatively. It is time we grow in Christ and mature to be healthy, ripe, nourishing fruit. Don’t be the rotten apple and sit in stubbornness and pride and think it is okay. It is not. Again you help others to grow and become healthy. Get yourself cleaned up and be affective for the body of Christ!

Sometimes we have our pet areas and we almost kind of excuse it away by saying, “Well you know I just, I just can’t control myself in that area.” First of all that is an un-true statement. You can control yourself if you really want to. You have to want to. It has to be important to you. If something is important to you you will do anything to make it happen. It becomes your focus. You might even be driven to obtain or accomplish it. You will use self-control to stay focused for your desired goal. Again, you can control yourself if you really want too.

There are three major areas we can look at that encapsulates our life where we need to apply self-control:

1.  Physical Self-Control

Food:  Most of us don’t want to admit it, but we’ve grown accustomed to overeating. It’s time to repent and develop some self-control in this area. I have to admit I struggle with this at times too. What has helped me lately is to tell myself, “Am I pleasing God when I eat this?” I know, I know, it is like when that phrase; “What would Jesus do?” was popular and my Youth pastor would tell us if we are in a car with a boy and hormones are raging ask yourself; “What would Jesus do?” But there is some truth to this. Our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit. We only live on this earth once. How are you taking care of your body? Are you making good choices or bad? (Trust me I am preaching to my self here)

Mouth: It seems like the mouth is the hardest area to control. What goes in it and what comes out of it. Such a small organ and it causes so many problems. Amen!

Sinful desires:  Speaking of hormones, we have to be aware of our flesh and the desires it craves daily. We can have self-control with our bodes. We don’t have to lust after or pursue fulfilling these fleshly desires.

If you are single, or even if you are married, the enemy will try and put temptations in front of you physically. God did create us to have a sexual drive, but we can have self-control with it. God created us to have this desire to replenish the earth and to have pleasure in marriage with one man and with one woman.

Apply some self-control with your thoughts even before your hormones rage. When you thoughts start to wonder in the wrong direction, immediately use self-control and get your mind on something else. We can talk long on this issue, but for lack of time, bring this to God in prayer, and seek outside help if need be.

Financial:  Are you honoring God with the money you get? Too often we see something and want it, and have to have it. We have to get a hold of our spending. Ask God if you are to have it or not. If He says, “Yes” He will provide the funds to obtain it.

Don’t get caught up in putting something on credit just to have it today. If this is you, start paying off the smaller credit cards first and then, once it is paid off, put that money from your regular payment onto the next card until it is paid off. It put pressure on you. It’s stealing from your walk with God. Do you know what the answer is? Buckle down and get out of debt!

Well…

The enemy uses this with many people to put them in bondage and be a slave to it. We don’t have to have what we desire all the time. It actually is a healthy thing to save the money and pay cash for it. Even so, we probably don’t need half of the things we buy.

Be good stewards of your money and God will bless you and provide for your needs. Have self-control and live within your budget. Have self-control and pay your tithes. Sometimes we feel like giving to the church and sometimes we don’t. Sometimes we feel like saving our money and sometimes we don’t. Self-control is desperately needed in our finances. Remember we want to give God glory in everything we do, including our finances.

-How do you take care of yourself?

-Do you get seven or eight hours of sleep a night? Drink half your body weight in water? Some of you say, “Wait a minute I would drown!” You may say, “I don’t like water!”

-Do you control your eating?

-Do you exercise?

-Do you take excellent care of what God has given you?

-Is your car dirty and full of trash?

-Take care of your home?

-Take care of your apartment?

-How do you look when you go out? Do you even look to see if you look okay? Tell yourself, “I’m going out to represent God!”

We do you do it all for the love of God! We are His representatives on earth. We are representing The Most High! The Most Excellent! The King of kings. The Lord of Lords! We, the Bible says, are His personal representatives.

You don’t have to feel like doing it, just do it for the love of God. Not to earn His love, but to show your love for Him! Do it because you want to represent Him well.

2.  Spiritual Self-Control

What are you doing to grow spiritually? Our choices affect our growth. Choices are made by having self-control. Our flesh wants to take the lazy, easy road. Are you spending time with God in prayer daily? It takes self-control to be disciplined and cultivate a relationship with God.

We get pulled in so many directions. We have to purpose and choose ahead of time to go to church, and read our Bibles, and spend time with God. It is so worth it when we do. We are rewarded in many ways and feel refreshed after being in the presence of God.

3.  Emotional Self-Control

This is a big area where the enemy tries and defeats us. How we act or react to circumstances in life have to do with our emotions. I have seen that self-control affects everything in my life, especially my emotions.

When our mind races into self-pity or anger we have to stop and tell ourselves to not go down that road. This is self-control.

When someone hurts you and you want to withdrawal, use self-control and don’t withdrawal, but press through and stand in the middle of your pressing emotion. Once you do, it will get easier the next time you are faced with being hurt.

See how self control is needed in our lives?

God wants us to overcome being offended. This is a tool of the enemy that he uses constantly in and out of the church today. Churches would be more healthy if people would just use self-control in how they act or react in the body of Christ.

Some of you have been going to church for years but still sit in your play pin crying for your bottle. It is time to get out of the play pin and into real life, overcoming issues in your heart instead of denying they are there. Every person has all the fruit of the spirit in them, including self-control.

It’s extremely important for us to learn that we can do what’s right with God’s help. Let’s understand that God never tells us to do anything without giving us the ability to do it. How silly that would be if God says, “I want you to do this, and this, and this, and Oh, by the way, I know you can’t so I am going to just sit up here and watch you struggle.”

God says we can, we are the ones who say we can’t. And as long as we believe we can’t, then we are not going to.

In the areas where you struggle tell yourself out loud several times a day, “I have the fruit of the Holy spirit within me and I am working with the Holy Spirit to develop that fruit everyday!” “Everyday I am growing in the fruit of the Spirit!” “I walk in love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control!” “I am a self-controlled person!”

Do you behave at home behind closed doors differently then you behave in front of somebody else? Let’s just suppose you were having a royal temper tantrum in your house. You are mad at everybody. You are screaming at the kids, you are ranting and raving, you’re just mad! You’re saying every imaginable thing. You are really into this fit. You say things like, “I’m so sick and tired…” and “You guys better get this mess cleaned up… and I’m fed up with this and the door bell rings and you peep through the little peep whole and it’s me. Now, I just want to ask you, “How quickly could you control yourself?” Every single person here knows that you could quickly get it under control and it would take you less then thirty seconds. You would open the door, “Pastor Kris!” “Praise the Lord!” “Wow, this is wonderful, thank you Jesus!” “Kids, come and look who is here, you are not going to believe who’s here!” How many of you get my point?

You see, the problem is we can behave really well around people we want to impress, but here is something we need to understand; God sees everything and just because you go home and shut the door doesn’t mean He is not in there! And if ever we live to impress anyone it should be God!

All-seeing Eye

I don’t think any of us ever gets victory in our life until we learn to live before the “All-Seeing Eye!” The One Who sees everything, and learn to live for His glory and His honor and not just to impress people.

Learn to control yourself for the love of God. Jesus said, “If you love me, you will obey me.” When you love somebody you want to do what they want you to do. Even if you particularly don’t want to do it, you so want to please them and you will do it because you love them.

By the way, self-control is your friend. It’s not an enemy. It’s not something that every time you hear the word you dread it and say, “Oh no, self-control!”

Hebrew 12:11 Amplified Bible

“For the time being no discipline brings joy, but seems grievous and painful; but afterwards it yields a peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it [a harvest of fruit which consists in righteousness — in conformity to God’s will in purpose, thought, and action, resulting in right living and right standing with God].”

Do you want to stay exactly where you are for the rest of your life, or a year from now, or two years from now do you want to be a different person with peace and joy and hope and power?

If you want to have a change in your life then you have to change something that you are doing. You have to change your thinking, change your actions, change your habits. God will help us do that. It’s not about works of the flesh saying, “I’m gonna control myself, bless God, I’m gonna control myself!” No you won’t. What you need to do is study what the Bible says about it and say, “God I want to do this for Your honor and Your glory and I do have a problem in this area and I need Your help!”

Have you ever thought you are just not a very disciplined or self-controlled person? Has that just been the general attitude about yourself? I don’t want you thinking like that anymore, I don’t want you talking like that anymore. If you want to have what God wants you to have, you have to get into agreement with God. Stop agreeing with the devil if you don’t want his plan for your life.

Say, “I have self-control!” “I operate in self-control!” “God helps me control myself!”

Now I can pretty much promise if you just start to even say that several times a day, you will start to see a difference. You add prayer to that. You start asking God to help you. You see, if you are focusing on, “I don’t have any self-control,” then you will believe you don’t have any self-control. But if you believe what the Word, says then you are going to see that fruit in your life.

2 Cor. 5:14 – 15 Amplified Bible

“For the love of Christ controls and urges and impels us, because we are of the opinion and conviction that [if] One died for all, then all died; and He died for all, so that all those who live might live no longer to and for themselves, but to and for Him Who died and was raised again for their sake.”

Jesus died so that we no longer have to live selfish, self-centered lives. He died so that we can die to things that are not healthy for us by simply saying, “No!” No! No! I am a person of self-control.

The love of Christ is our motivator and this helps control us. The more you love God, the more you are going to be willing to control yourself. 

Use your time wisely. You know we really only have a short time here on earth. Learn to number your days and don’t waste them.

Discipline yourself to serve and help others. Do it on purpose. Discipline your words and thoughts and attitudes and do it all for the love of God.

Self-control is about controlling your actions when you don’t want to do what’s right, but you control yourself to do what’s right anyway. Self-control is our friend.  We need to thank God that He has given us this ability, and put this wonderful fruit in us that we don’t have to be controlled by our feelings and our mind and our will. We have self-control! That’s good news!

Everybody should be thrilled to find out that you don’t have to be pushed around by the devil and be led around by your feelings and your own thoughts. You can actually say, “I feel like choking you, but the Bible says I am to forgive you, so I can control myself and do it!

Eph. 5:22 Amplified Bible

“Wives, be subject (be submissive and adapt yourselves) to your own husbands as [a service] to the Lord.”

I had a hard time with the word submit. I never had a dad growing up. Didn’t know what it was like to have a man around the house. All the men I knew were either abusive or absent. My step father beat my sister and I, along with our mother. I was rapped at the age of 18. Why would I submit to a man when I made it in life without one?

“Wives, be subject (be submissive and adapt yourselves) to your own husbands as [a service] to the Lord.”

You might say, “Well, you don’t know what I have to go through with that Jerk in my life.” Most of the stuff we start fights over is not anything earth shaking. There are times we are in a bad situation or our safety is compromised, but nothing earth shaking. Usually it is just pride, and rebellion, and we don’t want anybody telling us what to do.

Why does God tell us to submit?……… Because there has to be order. If there is no order you have chaos.

Eph. 6:1 Amplified Bible

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord [as His representatives], for this is just and right.”

So God is even telling kids, “You need to submit to your parents as a service to the Lord.”

Everyone has someone they need to submit under. Everyone has an authority over them.

Eph. 6:2 Amplified Bible

“Honor (esteem and value as precious) your father and your mother – this is the first commandment with a promise (Ex. 20:12). That it may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth.”

If you have parents that your ignoring, that is not good. “Well, my parents didn’t treat me right!” My dad was never there. My mom and Dad were divorced when I was two years old. I never had my Dad in my life. For years I felt rejected and abandoned. When he did call me on the phone (maybe 5 times in my life) he would always get me confused with my older sister. He wasn’t there. Then one day, as I was in my prayer time, God told me to go and get my dad and take care of him. He was living in California. Ultimately I did go and get him and placed him in an apartment in my town. Soon I found out he had terminal lung cancer and had to place him in an Adult family home. But God brought reconciliation between the both of us. You can read more about my reunion with my dad here. (click link and scroll down to where you see the title: “I Saved Your Tricycle!”). I was able to ask my dad hard questions this little girl had throughout the years. It brought healing to both of us. Healing never would have happened if I wouldn’t have had self-control and obeyed the Holy Spirit’s prompting to go and get my Dad.

It will add power to your life if you begin to do what you are suppose to do, not because you feel like it or want to, but as a service to the Lord. Because of your love for Him. You can do a lot of things for the love of God that you wouldn’t want to do.

Self-control is about controlling your actions when you don’t want to do what’s right, but you control yourself to do what’s right anyway.

Self-control is our friend.  We need to thank God that He has given us this ability, and put this wonderful fruit in us that we don’t have to be controlled by our feelings and our mind and our will. We have self-control! That’s good news!

Everybody should be thrilled to find out that you don’t have to be pushed around by the devil and be led around by your feelings and your own thoughts. You can actually say, “I feel like choking you, but the Bible says I am to forgive you, so I can control myself and do it!

I really don’t feel like giving my money away, but God says to do it! So, I can control myself and do it and even do it with a smile on my face. I don’t want to get up and clean my house today. I don’t want to wash that car, or do the laundry. I don’t want to do nothing but just lay here! Thank God for self-control. I will get up and do what I need to do and I’ll do it as a service to the Lord.

Eph. 6:4 Amplified Bible

“Fathers, do not irritate and provoke your children to anger [do not exasperate them to resentment], but rear them [tenderly] in the training and discipline and counsel and admonition of the Lord.”

How are you handling disciplining your children? Are you a dictator? Are you harsh? Or do you take the time with them and love them as you are correcting them? Do you correct by example or by just your words?

Eph. 6:5 Amplified Bible

“Servants (slaves), be obedient to those who are your physical masters, having respect for them and eager concern to please them, in singleness of motive and with all your heart, as [service] to Christ [Himself]”

Servants, slaves, employees. Back then they were called servants and slaves. Let’s update it. Be obedient to those who are your bosses.

Listen, rebellion is the spirit of the anti christ. We have such a horrendous problem with rebellion. No body wants anybody telling them what to do. I get it. I’m very strong-willed.  And like most people, I think my idea is better then yours so even if I was working for you and you told me what to do, I might have a problem. But thank God I’ve learned that  I can’t be blessed in my life and be rebellious. You do it as a service to the Lord.

You can’t be blessed and be rebellious. Walk in self-control and obey the God-given authority in your life because you love God if you can’t think of any other reason!

Pastor Kris Belfils

It is virtually impossible to show forth the other eight fruit of the Spirit unless we walk in self-control.

How can we remain peaceful in the middle of an upsetting situation unless we exercise self-control? “Well, I wish I had more peace.” You won’t get it wishing. Are you seeing how valuable self-control is? You can get up every single day knowing you don’t have to let circumstances rule you. You are in control.

Self-control allows us to be patient when we feel impatient. You don’t wait to feel patience, but choose to be patient. I can’t be impatient just because I feel like it. It is not pleasing to God. I want to please God. I want to display the fruit of the Spirit because I want other people to become hungry for what I have.

How about faithfulness? People commit to do something when they’re in the height of emotions, and then when all the emotional stuff is over, they don’t feel like doing what they said they would do. Remember what is faithfulness: You do it over and over and over and over and over and over again. Does anybody remember that message?

How about humility? How can I exercise humility without self-control? You can’t. Remember the fruit of pride we looked at when we were looking at Gentleness? It takes a willing heart and courage to look at ourselves and see the areas we need to change in, but it is so worth the change. God can trust us with more. Our lives are more organized and blessed. We are not being lead by our emotions. The list goes on and on of the benefits of developing the fruit of the Spirit in us. As we abide in the Vine, we will produce much fruit.

Because all these things are feelings. The minute we don’t get what we want, somebody is not moving as fast as we would like them too, we are in a hurry and now we are in a traffic jam. We are in a hurry and that is just when the clerk doesn’t have prices on the items we are buying and now you are just waiting and waiting.

You can either get upset and say, “For crying out loud this is ridiculous, this is plan ridiculous!” or you can say, “This is only a test. My fruit is being squeezed! Say, “Ha ha somebody is trying to pick my fruit.”

Pay attention to how you feel. If you are starting to lose your peace, use self-control! If you are starting to lose your joy, use self-control.

Self-control is your friend. It’s in you. You can use it anytime you want to to have a victory. No wonder the devil feeds nonsense into our head all the time, “Well, I’m just not a self-controlled person.” “Oh, I hate self-control, I hate discipline.” The enemy wants us to have a bad attitude towards it.

I have noticed the opposition gives away the very thing you CAN do by saying you CAN’T! What ever the enemy says you can’t do, turn it around and say the opposite right back in his face!

Pastor Kris Belfils

Now Paul was preaching to a man named Felix…

Acts 24:25 Amplified Bible

“But as he continued to argue about uprightness, purity of life (the control of the passions), and the judgment to come, Felix became alarmed and terrified and said, Go away for the present; when I have a convenient opportunity, I will send for you.”

How much more perfect could that be? Paul was preaching on what Felix didn’t want to hear and he said for Paul to go away and for another time. Paul was talking about controlling his passions and Felix didn’t want to hear it.

If you are waiting for a better time to take care of somethings God has been convicting you about there is no better time then right now.

Proverbs talks a lot about restraining yourself. It says, “Restrain yourself from hanging out with sinners whose lives are in a mess.” “Restrain your lips, Restrain your anger.”

He who has no control over his spirit is like a city broken down without walls. The world’s slogan is, “If it feels good, do it!” But that doesn’t work in God’s kingdom.

What about your mind when it comes to self-control. Set your mind and say, “I am going to set my mind and get the areas that are out of balance into balance in Jesus name.”

Mindsets are so important. It is unbelievable what a person can do with God once you made your mind up that you are going to do it. If you don’t make your mind up then nobody can help you. There is not enough miracles flying around to get you into victory if you won’t make your mind up. You have to make your mind up.

You need to know this too, when you finally decide to make the change, it’s gonna hurt. It won’t all be easy but it will be worth it.

1 Cor. 9:24 Amplified Bible

“Do you not know that in a race all the runners compete, but [only] one receives the prize? so run [your race] that you may lay hold [of the prize] and make it yours.”

How are you going to run your race?

1 Cor. 9:25 Amplified Bible

“Now every athlete who goes into training conducts himself temperately and restricts himself in all things…”

How many things? How many? ALL! “Got to control my thinking, got to control my mouth, control my attitude even when I don’t feel like it. work when I don’t feel like it.”

You might say, “I just don’t feel like doing all that!” Thank God for self-control! You don’t have to feel like it, you have got a friend! Self-control!

1 Cor. 9:25 Amplified Bible

“Now every athlete who goes into training conducts himself temperately and restricts himself in all things. They do it to win a wreath that will soon wither, but we [do it to receive a crown of eternal blessedness]”

If a runner or an athlete can discipline themselves the way they do to win a trophy, surely we can do it to honor God and to be all that He wants us to be in His Kingdom.

1 Cor. 9:26 – 27 Amplified Bible

“Therefore I do not run uncertainly (without definite aim). I do not box like one beating the air and striking without an adversary. But [like a boxer] I buffet my body [handle it roughly, discipline it by hardships] and subdue it, for fear that after proclaiming to others the Gospel and things pertaining to it, I myself should become unfit [not stand the test, be unapproved and rejected as a counterfeit].”

We have to stop telling others what to do and not do it ourselves. We have to be an example.

I love this statement: “Preach at all times and when necessary use words.” Let your life be a sermon.

I challenge you to decide right now that you will live the remainder of your life giving glory to God in everything you do. As you make that decision and carry it out in your life, you will find your life to be exceptional beyond anything you could ever have imagined.

Love, faithfulness, goodness, patience, kindness, peace, humility, joy and self-control are the elements that make our lives exceptional; they are a reward in themselves. We were born to display them, and we will never be fulfilled without them.

Your sister in Christ,

Pastor Kris Belfils

http://www.krisbelfils.com

http://www.hopefellowshipspokane.com

http://www.krisbelfils.wordpress.com

Loving People Into Transformation

Loving People Into TransformationEvery person on this earth wants to be loved and accepted. We want to know we are valuable and cherished. Even the hardest of hearts has a weak spot… Love.

Earlier this month we celebrated Valentines day. To many, they don’t like this celebration because they may be without a Valentine. We celebrate love as a Nation every year at this time. Why? Because everyone wants to be loved.

Songwriters have written songs like; “Love is all you need,” or “Love will keep us together.” How about; “I’m all out of love, and so lost without you.”

Let’s remind ourselves of the One Who has loved us first and the most:

John 3:16 NLT

“For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.”

God loved us, so He gave… He gave up the very person he cherished the most, Jesus Christ, because God had to save the world from utter damnation. This is extravagant love. Our minds have a hard time wrapping itself around the thought of this. But God loved people enough to send His only Son to save us from spending eternity in Hell. This is powerful love!

We, as the World, need this transforming love in us and we need to show this love to others. We need to cherish people like God does. We need to love people into transformation.

LOVING PEOPLE INTO TRANSFORMATION

(Based on 1 Corinthians 13:1 – 13)

Read 1 Corinthians 13:1 – 13. In it states if we don’t have love we have nothing. Love takes its time. It is not in a hurry. It comes with no expectations. It just is.

So what is 1 Corinthians 13:1 – 13 actually saying? Love is such a simple subject, yet very complex. Matters of the heart are hard to define. In this passage of scripture we will see the very basic important points we must consider to gage our love for others and their love for us, and our love for God and His love for us, and apply it to our lives.

1.  Love is superior to speaking languages or intellect.

1 Corinthians 13:1 (CEV)

What if I could speak all languages of humans and of angels? If I did not love others, I would be nothing more than a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.” 

Having the highest intellect or ability to speak languages known and unknown doesn’t mean a thing if you have no love.

People are more important then boasting about our abilities and knowledge.

What good is having the ability of speaking to any nation if you have no love for that nation? People know if you are sincere.

Noisy gong or a clanging cymbal makes a lot of noise, but really has no other use. This is what our intellect or the ability to speak in various languages has when compared to loving people. We are “noisy” when we put all of these above love. Love conquers all and sees all.

2.  Love authenticates spiritual gifts.

I Corinthians 13:2 

“What if I could prophesy and understand all secrets and all knowledge? And what if I had faith that moved mountains? I would be nothing, unless I loved others.”

I have seen people “prophecy” in a very judgmental, critical tone and think it is okay, but there was no love in it, not even tough love. It actually did more damage then good. Far too often Christian people put a higher priority on Spiritual gifts then they do loving people. Someone with a true Spiritual gift will flow God’s love.

We can have all wisdom, knowledge, and understanding and live a very lonely life, all because we choose to be selfish and not love others. People have spent years of their life trying to gain worldly wisdom, knowledge, and understanding, but without love, all their intellect is in vain. We can’t take our intellect to heaven when Christ comes to take us home, but we can take His love that is flowing through us to others to heaven. It originated there. Combining love with our knowledge is powerful. It will help you make godly decisions instead of worldly ones.

God knows what motivates us to do things. If you are ministering or confronting people and there is no love, it will come across as harsh, stale, and very mean. People respond to correction that is given in love. Correction that is given in just intellect or without love will have a negative affect on the receiver. People will listen and respond easier to correction given in love.

If you are correcting your children when they have done something wrong, but don’t have love, you are in the wrong. It will scar their lives forever. Yes, you need to correct your children, but take a moment to relax your anger. Take a moment to respond to them in a loving way. There are too many grown adults who were corrected and abused from their parents all because there was no love in their correction. Always remember your children will grow up to be adults and how you treat them today will form them into the adult they will become. Ask God for His wisdom and always put on love when correcting your children.

3.  Love is not self-profiting. 

1 Corthinthians 13:3

“What if I gave away all that I owned and let myself be burned alive? I would gain nothing, unless I loved others.”

What if we gave all that we owned to the poor, but our motive was not backed with love? It is all worthless. We wouldn’t gain a thing.

“If we give away all we have, while we withhold the heart from God, it will not profit. Nor even the most painful sufferings. How are those deluded who look for acceptance and reward for their good works, which are as scanty and defective as they are corrupt and selfish!”

Matthew Henry Commentary

Giving to the poor is a selfish act if not accompanied with love. Selfish in that you want to be seen for your deed, instead of lovingly reaching out and helping someone.

“If all that a man had were dealt out in this way, in small portions, so as to benefit as many as possible, and yet were not attended “with true love toward God and toward man,” it would be all false, hollow, hypocritical, and really of no value in regard to his own salvation. It would profit nothing. It would not be such an act as God would approve; it would be no evidence that the soul would be saved. Though good might be done to others, yet where the “motive” was wrong, it could not meet with the divine approbation, or be connected with his favor.”

Albert Barnes Commentary

When you think about it, being selfish is the opposite of love. If you find yourself thinking about yourself and wanting things your way, this is not love. Which leads to my next point.

 4.  Love is selfless.

1 Corinthians 13:4 – 7

“Love is kind and patient, never jealous, boastful, proud, or rude. Love isn’t selfish or quick tempered. It doesn’t keep a record of wrongs that others do. Love rejoices in the truth, but not in evil. Love is always supportive, loyal, hopeful, and trusting.” 

Kind and patient, never jealous, boastful, arrogant, or rude: Can you place your love for others in these categories?

Taking the time with others when they need your help is showing love. When you are waiting for someone to do something you want them to do, do you wait patiently?

Do you show kindness and speak kind words, even when it is to your enemy?

Do you get jealous when someone you love succeeds or do you rejoice with them?

Do you remember the wrong people have done to you and bring it up to them? It is hard to love people who have wronged you. Seriously, it is hard to forgive someone who has wronged you. People will let you down. People will hurt you. Their lack of awareness to the wrong they have done can paralyze us if we let it. God requires us to love each other as He loves us. We are to abound in love. Knowing this gives us an insight on our own character. If we hold a wrong against someone, we truly do not love them… OUCH! The good news is that we can ask God to help us love one another. Paul wrote that we can increase and abound in our love for each other.

1 Thess. 3:12 (NKJV)

“And may the Lord make you increase and abound in love to one another and to all, just as we do to you.”

How do we love our enemy or those who have wronged us? We pray for them. It is not easy, but pray for them.

We need to rejoice in truth and not in evil. Don’t be happy when evil prevails. Fight for justice for yourself and for others.

Do you remain calm when someone is angry, or do you get angry yourself which complicates matters worse?

The New Testament word for ‘love’ is ‘agape’. It is not the natural love for a friend or a relative. It is the kind of love that God shows to people. We do not deserve it and we can never earn it. So, when we know God’s love, we should show that same love to other people. (www.easyenglish.info Bible Commentary).

 5.  Love is eternal and imperishable. 

1 Corinthians 13:8 – 10

“Love never fails! Everyone who prophesies will stop, and unknown languages will no longer be spoken. All that we know will be forgotten. We don’t know everything, and our prophecies are not complete. 1But what is perfect will someday appear, and what isn’t perfect will then disappear.” 

Love never is to be out of use; it always holds its place. It will always be fresh and usable.

Prophesies, and unknown languages are gifts from God for us today, but this scripture lets us see the importance compared to having love for others. There is no comparison. These gifts are important, but loving others is even more important. It doesn’t matter if you have these gifts yet never show love to others.

Love is God, and God is love. It is the very essence of God. The gifts are just that; gifts from God. The gifts are for edification while we are on this earth. When we get to heaven these gifts will no longer be relevant or needed. But love will always remain. Love is eternal and imperishable.

All these things will pass away, and all that is not perfect will pass away, but love will never fail!

6.  Love is mature

1 Corinthians 13:11 – 12

“When we were children, we thought and reasoned as children do. But when we grew up, we quit our childish ways. Now all we can see of God is like a cloudy picture in a mirror. Later we will see him face to face. We don’t know everything, but then we will, just as God completely understands us.” 

Don’t think like a child any longer. Put away childish ways of being selfish and arrogant.

Even in our pursuit of love on this earth, it really is a cloudy picture we have right now. Some sweet day we will see God face to face. We will see Him as He is. Then we will understand God’s love completely.

7.  Love is the greatest.

1 Corinthians 13:13

“For now there are faith, hope, and love. But of these three, the greatest is love.”

Faith, hope and love have been a well-known group of qualities. Paul speaks about them in other letters.

1 Thessalonians 1:3

“…remembering without ceasing your work of faith, labor of love, and patience of hope in our Lord Jesus Christ in the sight of our God and Father.”

Colossians 1:4-5. 

“…since we heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of your love for all the saints; because of the hope which is laid up for you in heaven, of which you heard before in the word of the truth of the gospel.”

But now abideth faith, hope, love. These three shall survive. They are eternal. They continue to exist in the church, and shall not fail in its glorified state. As long as the redeemed saint shall have future ages before him, so long will trust in God and hope give them brightness, while love itself is the very atmosphere of the divine life. These three words explain the whole of the Christian life in this world. Christians have faith that God will forgive them because of Christ’s sacrifice. They have hope for the future, because of Christ’s resurrection. They live a life of faith and hope among Christian brothers and sisters whom they love.

The greatest of these is love. The greatest because it glorifies both faith and hope, sanctifies every faculty and Christian grace, is the very moving impulse of the gospel, and is the one quality that is divine. “God is love.” Love is the greatest, because God himself is love. A friendship with Him will never end, but it will continue into eternity.

1 John 4:8

“He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.”

If you are struggling to love people, take a look at your relationship with God. Do you really know Him? Chances are you don’t because God is love! He loved the world so He gave…. If we want to be more like Jesus, we have to embrace people and love them with the love He has given us. If not, we will just be a noisy clanky gong and live a miserable life.

Now after reading 1 Cor. 13 and studying it together, turn this passage of scripture around and see this is how God is towards us. Substitute the word Love for God in verses 4 – 8 and it will read like this: “4Love God is kind and God is patient, God is never jealous, boastful, proud, or 5rude. Love God isn’t selfish or quick tempered. It God doesn’t keep a record of wrongs that others we do. 6Love God rejoices in the truth, but not in evil. 7Love God is always supportive, loyal, hopeful, and trusting. Love God never fails…”

Even if that person is rejecting you or behaving badly, the love of God in you helps you to continue in a relationship with them. You are praying and believing God will change their hearts and outlook. You know that the same Holy Spirit Who works on your heart is working on theirs. God pursues us constantly. He doesn’t force us to love Him or even like Him. Yet He relentlessly pursues us. We are valuable to Him. He never gives up on us.

Jeremiah 31:1

“I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love, With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself.”

God is constantly pursuing us. He draws us with His love. His love is everlasting, and never-changing.

How did Jesus forgive the very ones who were crucifying Him? With Godly love. It wasn’t human love that held him to the cross. It was the love of the Father that gave him strength to fulfill the redemptive plan to save this world.

We are ignorant to the fullness of God’s love He has for us. Yet, we can taste a little of His love on earth by opening up ourselves and receiving His love. Often times we reject God’s love thinking, “We are not good enough” or “He could never love me after what I have done.” These are just excuses for not receiving His love. His love is unconditional. It doesn’t have attachments connected to it.

God just puts His love out for us to receive it again and again. Eventually, through circumstances and finding the right pieces to the puzzle, we see how much God loves us and we start receiving His love in our hearts. When we finally receive His love it fills us to the point we even wonder why we fought it in the first place.

God’s love is contagious. People will sense and see something different about you. You are walking in God’s love, which is not of this world, and the people will be drawn to you. Not because of anything you have done, but because of the Love of God in you.

Ministering to people, without having love in your heart for them, will not have the abundant fruit you are looking for. We, as ministers, have to be full of God’s love, and out of the overflow we will minister successfully to others.

Don’t Fake The Front

People know if you are fake or genuine.  We can’t “Fake The Front” and still be productive in the Kingdom of God. Faking the front is when you pretend you love someone and act like everything is okay when it is not.

God sees your heart and He knows you are not being genuine. Ask God to teach you to love with the love He has given you.

1 John 4:8 (NKJV)

“He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.”

1 John 4:11 (NKJV)

“Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.”

We can love others with Godly, Agape love. This is genuine love that will never fail.

Once you start loving people with the genuine love of God, you will see open doors before you. Why? Because God’s favor goes before you. You are oozing with God’s love and it can’t help but minister to others.

People will want what you have. They will see you are different from other people. You will get promoted at work over others that are more qualified, all because you finally have received God’s love and show it to others.

God opens these doors because you are His hand extended. You have been transformed by His love and now can be trusted with greater things.

Your demeanor changes. Your countenance changes. You are more pleasant to be around. You value people more. You show appreciation towards your work and the things you do at your job all because the love of God is flowing in you.

Love is…

“Saying ‘No’ to your self and ‘yes’ to someone else.”

(John 3:16 – God loved so He gave)

This has been taught and instilled in me from a precious lady, “Connie Hise.” She has shown genuine love for others and the Love of God flows out of her as she ministers.

I have seen this in my own ministry. People won’t care what you have to say until they see you care. It would only be a clanging gong if I ministered out of head knowledge and not a heart of love.

People take time to change. There is a process for healing. There is a process for understanding. There is a process to changing. All people have a higher level of potential they can climb to, but the very thing that is blocking their accent could be the lack of feeling loved or cherished.

Love people as they are transforming to be more like Jesus. There will be hard times, times you will want to give up on them, but don’t give up. You might even be misunderstood, but it is all worth seeing someone receive the love of God which will empower and change their lives.

Pastor Kris Belfils

www.krisbelfils.com

www.hopefellowshipspokane.com

www.krisbelfils.wordpress.com