relationships

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Life Is Better Together – Why We Need Each Other

We were created for community! God’s design for His people is that we live, grow, and serve together. In “Life Is Better Together,” we’ll explore why biblical fellowship matters and how we find joy, strength, healing, and purpose when we choose connectedness over isolation.

Friends, have you ever found yourself feeling like you had to go it alone, that your burdens were yours and yours alone to bear? Our world often says, “Make it on your own!” But the Bible proclaims a radically different message: we need each other!

Hebrews 10:24-25 (NIV)
And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another…

Today, we’ll see that God designed us to live in community. We will look at why this matters, explore what stands in our way, and discover practical steps to build the kind of shared spiritual life that Christ intended.

I. Created for Community

From the very beginning, God’s design has been rooted in relationship. In Genesis, after creating Adam, God looked upon him and declared:

The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” (Genesis 2:18 NIV)

Imagine this: Adam dwelled in paradise with God, surrounded by beauty and peace. Yet, God Himself determined something was missing—relationship. Adam needed someone with whom to share the journey.

A. God’s Design
God is relational. Even before creation, Father, Son, and Spirit shared eternal fellowship—perfect unity. We are made in God’s image (Genesis 1:27 NIV), which means we’re created for meaningful connection, too.

B. Isolation was Never God’s Intention
God remedies Adam’s aloneness with Eve. Out of that first couple comes the family, and from family comes community. The very foundation of life as God designed it is relationship.

C. We Reflect God Best Together
Love, by definition, requires another person. You can’t demonstrate kindness, forgiveness, or grace when you’re alone. It’s in community that we learn to love sacrificially—to forgive, to encourage, to spur each other on.

Have you ever tried clapping with one hand? It just doesn’t work. But bring two hands together—and suddenly you have applause, rhythm, and music. That’s what happens when God’s people come together.

II. The Call to Spur One Another On

Let’s look again at our key passage:
And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds…

A. Biblical Model
The word “spur” is strong. It means to prod, motivate, to stir up! The Christian walk is not a spectator sport, but a group hike. We push and pull each other to keep moving forward in faith.

B. Growth Happens in Relationships
Think about it. Iron sharpens iron (Proverbs 27:17 NIV).

New King James Version
As iron sharpens iron,
So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.

When we come alongside others, we help each other grow:
– Accountability—someone to ask how we’re really doing.
– Encouragement—someone to cheer us on when we falter.
– Learning—wisdom is passed from one generation to another.

C. Meeting Together is Essential
…not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another (Hebrews 10:25 NIV).

Being together isn’t optional for followers of Jesus. It’s the difference between coal staying hot in a fire or cooling when alone.

Picture a fireplace—when the logs are stacked together, they create a blazing fire. Separate them, and each one smolders out. Community keeps our faith burning bright.

III. Encouragement and Support in the Christian Journey

Let’s be honest: life isn’t always easy.
…encouraging one another (Hebrews 10:25 NIV).

A. Everyone Faces Struggles and Doubts
From job losses to family challenges, from health scares to personal crises—none of us is immune. Even the strongest saints need a neighbor to lean on.

B. Your Presence Matters
Do you know the Greek word for []“encourage” (parakaleo)? It literally means “to come alongside.” God puts us in each other’s lives for a reason. You might be the answer to someone’s prayer for hope today!

C. The Church as a Place of Strength
The early church understood this. (42) They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. (44) All the believers were together and had everything in common… (Acts 2:42, 44 NIV).

Church should be a spiritual hospital, a training camp, and a family reunion all rolled into one.

I once heard of a family who went through a crisis. Their faith community rallied—meals delivered, prayers prayed, shoulders offered to cry on. Years later, the family testified, “We saw Jesus in our friends’ faces.”

IV. Barriers to Community – And How to Overcome Them

If community is so wonderful, why don’t we all just jump in? The truth is, many things stand in the way.

A. Busyness
Let’s face it: schedules fill up fast. We start prioritizing soccer games, Netflix binges, or work projects—and gathering with others gets squeezed out.

Q: What are you prioritizing over connection with your church family?

B. Past Hurts
Maybe you’ve been burned before. It’s tempting to pull away when community wounds us. But God calls us to risk again—to trust that with His help, healing is possible.

C. Cultural Pull Toward Individualism
We celebrate “self-made” people. But Christian maturity isn’t developed in isolation. Paul reminds us:
Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. (1 Corinthians 12:12 NIV).

D. Intentional Commitment
…not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing… (Hebrews 10:25 NIV).
To build relationship, we must show up—again and again. It takes intentionality.

I heard someone say, “I don’t need to go to church to be a Christian!” That may be true—just like you don’t need to go home to be married. But if you stay away too long… things get cold real fast!

V. Practical Ways to Live This Out

A. Prioritize Gathering
Make worship, small groups, and gatherings a regular part of your schedule. Don’t let other priorities crowd this out.

B. Encourage Each Week
Look for someone to bless—send a note, make a call, pray for someone specifically this week.

C. Get Involved
Serving alongside others forms deep bonds. Whether it’s ushering, teaching, cooking, or visiting—the more you serve, the more connected you become!

D. Pray for God’s Eyes
Ask, “God, show me who needs encouragement, and help me to see them through your eyes.” Then take a step.

Think of community as a garden. It takes planting, watering, weeding, and patience. But the harvest is worth it.

  • Who has made a difference in your life?
  • Who might God want you to encourage this week?
  • Are you willing to push past comfort, busyness, or hurt, to step into the fullness of Christian community?

God’s vision for us is not just to believe, but to belong. To be His family, loving and supporting one another.

Call to Action:
This week, take one tangible step—reach out to someone, commit to regular gathering. Be the answer to the “why” behind “we need each other.”

Prayer:
Lord Jesus, help us see one another as gifts. Give us courage to gather, grace to forgive, and eyes to notice the lonely and struggling among us. Knit us together into a community that shows the love of Christ to a watching world. Amen.

Your Sister In Christ,

Pastor Kris Belfils

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Trusting God In Relationships: Abide In Christ

Read John 15:1–17 (NKJV)  

Have you ever tried assembling IKEA furniture without looking at the instruction manual? You look at the picture on the box, think, “I’ve got this,” and start piecing it together. But a few screws later, you realize something’s off. You step back, and the table you thought was perfect is wobbling, uneven, and just wrong. And worst of all — you have pieces left over!

Relationships often feel the same. We think we can navigate them through instinct, advice from friends, social media tips, or even past experience. But when conflict arises or things get shaky, we realize — maybe we’ve missed some critical instructions. Why? Because we weren’t designed to lead our relationships alone. God wants to lead our relationships — starting with our relationship with Jesus.

In John 15, Jesus gives us a powerful picture of what it means to depend on Him especially in the context of relationships. This passage isn’t just about staying spiritually connected — it’s about how staying connected to Jesus transforms the way we love, forgive, serve, and relate to one another.

Let’s explore three key truths from John 15:1–17 to understand how to trust God in our relationships — and how to let Him take the lead.

I. ABIDE IN CHRIST: RELATIONSHIPS FLOURISH WHEN ROOTED IN JESUS  

John 15:1 NKJV

Verse 1 – “I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser.”

Jesus uses a beautiful and intentional metaphor. He calls Himself the “true vine” — the source of life, nourishment, and sustenance. The branches? You and me. The vinedresser is God the Father — ever tending, pruning, and cultivating good fruit in us.

This kind of imagery is central to understanding relationships. Think of it: A branch disconnected from the vine withers. Without nourishment from the source, it becomes brittle and fruitless. The same is true of relationships that are disconnected from Christ. (Break a dried branch in front of the people)

Verse 4 – “Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself… neither can you, unless you abide in Me.”

We don’t just visit Jesus on Sundays. We make our home in Him. To “abide” means to remain, to dwell, to linger — not to occasionally visit.

Try forgiving someone without abiding in Jesus, and you might forgive them once, maybe twice. But abide in Jesus, and His Spirit produces fruit like patience, kindness, and long-suffering (Galatians 5:22–23).

Eph 4:32 NKJV

And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.

Verse 5 –  “Without Me you can do nothing.”

That’s a bold claim. Not “a few things,” but nothing. Zero spiritual fruit is possible apart from Jesus. Your romantic, family, or friendship connections may function apart from Christ — but they will never truly flourish. It is Christ who causes fruit to grow.

(v8) “By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples.”

God delights when your relationships bear fruit — not just success or happiness — but love, service, patience, joy, and peace. That fruit displays His character to the world.

Application:

– Is Christ the foundation of your relationships?

– Are you spending consistent, abiding time with Him?

– Before you reach for your phone to text, swipe, or respond — have you reached for Jesus lately?

Abiding isn’t passive — it’s proximity. That daily connection with Jesus isn’t just for spiritual growth; it’s the power center for relational health.

II. WALK IN OBEDIENCE: LET GOD’S LOVE DIRECT YOUR RELATIONSHIPS  

John 15:9 NKJV

“As the Father loved Me, I also have loved you; abide in My love.”

Jesus invites us deeper. Don’t just abide in Him — abide in His love. The same eternal love that the Father has for the Son is now offered to us. This is unchanging, secure, divine love.

But how do we abide in that love?

(v10) “If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love…”

Obedience is not a burden — it’s the posture of those who trust God. Obedience keeps us aligned with His love. Think of a parent giving safety instructions to their child — Obedience is not restriction, it’s protection.

(v12) “This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.”

Jesus raises the standard. “Love one another,” yes — but not just any way. “As I have loved you.”

How did Jesus love?

– He sacrificed.

– He forgave.

– He got low and washed feet.

– He called out truth — in love.

This kind of love isn’t mood-based. It’s obedience-based.

(v13) “Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.”

Jesus showed us the highest expression of love — sacrificial love. And what’s remarkable is that He modeled this love before we deserved it (Romans 5:8).

Romans 5:8 NKJV

But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

A couple once came to counseling, bitter and ready to break up. “I just don’t love her anymore,” the husband said. The counselor said, “Then love her.” He was confused, and replied, “But I don’t feel anything!” The counselor said, “Who said love was a feeling? It’s a command. Start serving her, praying for her, communicating with her. Obey Jesus — and let the feelings follow.”

Weeks later, their marriage began to heal — not because of emotion, but because of obedience.

Application:

– Who are you struggling to love right now?

– Who are you waiting to change before you act in love?

– Are you obeying Jesus’ commandment or living off convenience?

Obedience leads to freedom. Why? Because God’s commands aren’t chains — they’re train tracks. They get you moving in the right direction.

 III. FRIENDSHIP WITH JESUS: THE RELATIONAL MODEL FOR ALL OTHERS  

 John 15:15 NKJV

“No longer do I call you servants… but I have called you friends.”

Stop and let that sink in. The God of heaven — the Holy One, Ruler, Creator — calls you friend. Not simply followers. Not just disciples. Friends. This is relationship, access, intimacy, and delight.

This transforms how we approach relationships:  

– We don’t need to chase approval when we are already accepted by Jesus.  

– We aren’t starved for validation when we are loved as friends of Christ.  

– We aren’t slaves to past rejection when we are called friends by the One who never fails.

(v16) “You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit…”

Even more — we were chosen. His love was not reactive; it was sovereign — initiated by Him. That’s the love you can build your friendships and marriage on.

Friendship with Jesus re-centers how we approach others. We no longer relate from a place of scarcity — but security.

(v17) “These things I command you, that you love one another.”

He circles back again. Love. Always love. Because when He leads, this becomes our lifestyle.

Joke: One little boy said to his friend, “I love you just like Jesus said.” His buddy replied, “Thanks! Wait — does that mean you’re gonna die for me?” He said, “No, but I’ll let you have my last slice of pizza!” Real friendships cost something, but they’re worth it.

Application:

– Trust God’s friendship as your anchor.

– Let Jesus’ love quiet your fear of rejection.

– Let your identity as His friend shape every other relationship you have.

Let’s revisit verse 11 again.

(V11) “These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may remain in you, and that your joy may be full.”

Joy. That’s the outcome of abiding, obeying, and trusting in His love.

We don’t need to lead our relationships blindly, painfully, or selfishly. We have a God who gives us instruction, walks with us, and shapes us into people who live — and love — like Jesus.

Recap/Call To Action:  

  • Abide in Christ — because He is the source of all fruitfulness.  Abide – Don’t try to love others without Jesus. Start your day abiding in Him, listening to His Word, surrendering your strengths and struggles.
  • Walk in obedience — because love isn’t a feeling, it’s a command.  Make the hard choice to love even when it’s inconvenient or undeserved. Sacrifice your comfort to love someone for the sake of Christ.
  • Embrace friendship with Jesus — because He sets the standard for all other relationships. When you live from the acceptance of Jesus’ friendship, you can love from victory instead of for validation.

God wants to lead your relationships — not just repair them, but rewire them. Let the true Vine be your first and forever connection.

Kindly bow your heads and close your eyes.

Maybe you have never asked Jesus in your heart as Lord and Savior. He is the best relationship you could ever have. If that is you and you want Him as a friend, raise your hand. We need Him in our lives. There is no one like Him. He can be your best friend if you ask Him to be.

Closing Prayer:

Repeat after me: Lord Jesus, I ask you to come into my life. Be Lord of my life. Please be my best friend. Thank you for your forgiveness. Thank you for being my Savior.

Father, thank You for being the Vinedresser who never gives up on us. Jesus, help us abide in You — moment by moment. Teach us to obey You, even when it hurts. Thank You for calling us Your friends. May our relationships bear much fruit and bring You honor. In Your name we pray, amen.

Your Sister In Christ,

Pastor Kris Belfils

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Fruit of the Spirit – Joy

Joy

Gal. 5:22 Amplified Bible

“But the fruit of the [Holy] Spirit [the work which His presence within accomplishes] is love, joy (gladness), peace, patience (an even temper, forbearance), kindness, goodness (benevolence), faithfulness, gentleness (meekness, humility), self-control (self-restraint, continence). Against such things there is no law [that can bring a charge].”

What is joy and what is joy based on? Joy defined is: “A shout, a proclamation that can manifest in singing. Joy is defined as a triumph, cheerful and a calm delight.”

 Strong’s Hebrew and Greek Definitions: “G5463, A primary verb; to be full of “cheer”, that is, calmly happy or well off.”

Joy is deeper then happiness. Instead of looking to Jesus, people look for JOY anywhere and everywhere else.

Pretty much everybody wants happiness. In fact, people do what they do for the purpose of “finding happiness.” People work hard to buy possessions that can make them happy. They look for happiness in entertainment, hobbies, sports, passions and various addictions, and even another person.

When you consider that happiness seems to be the main goal, it seems surprising that the Bible doesn’t talk much about happiness. But the Bible says a lot about something that is often confused with happiness. The Bible says a lot about JOY. The kind of JOY the Bible talks about goes much deeper than mere happiness.

Happiness deals with what is happening. Happiness depends on circumstance. In fact, for most people happiness is nothing more than a temporary interruption to boredom. We’ve all heard kids complain, “I’m bored.” That means, “I want some happiness, and I’m NOT finding it!”

Genuine joy, on the other hand does not depend on what’s happening. Joy is an inner sense of well-being that has nothing to do with circumstance.  Joy is an inside Job.

The kind of JOY the Bible describes can’t be found in possessions or entertainment or even in looking deeply into your inner self.

 Happiness vs. Joy

Happiness meets surface needs, But Joy meets your deepest needs.

Happiness is like a thermometer, it registers conditions,

Joy is like a Thermostat, it regulates conditions.

Now happiness many times evaporates in suffering,

But Joy frequently intensifies in times of suffering.

Let me give you an example:

Turn with me to James 1:2

James 1:2 NKJV 

“My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials.”

In other words, when you are in trouble, don’t start crying when things happen, in stead count it as Joy.

The word translated “various” is the Greek word on which our word “polka dot” is based.

It means variegated or diversified. If you look at a dress or garment with lots of polka dots on it, it can be a reminder that we will experience many trials.

Joy is not the natural response to Trouble. How many of you jump and scream with excitement when trouble comes a-knockin’?

Let me tell you something, Trials are meaningless, suffering is senseless and trials are pointless, unless there is some good purpose for them.

God has a goal in mind. God knows what the good purpose is.

Suffering is inevitable. He does not say, “Count it all joy, my brethren, IF you fall into trials,” he says, “Count it all joy WHEN you fall into trials.

What does that mean?

~ It means Trials are not optional.

~ Suffering is a normal part of the process God uses to bring us to glory.

~We are to rule over the trial and not allow the trial to rule over us.

The word “count” in the Greek means: “to lead, that is, command (with official authority); figuratively to deem, that is, consider: – account, (be) chief, count, esteem, governor, judge, have the rule over, suppose, think.”

Far too often we allow the trial to rule over us and it defeats us. We are to count, rule over with authority, any trial that comes our way because we know:

James 1:3 – 4 Amplified Bible

“Be assured and understand that the trial and proving of your faith bring out endurance and steadfastness and patience. [with no defects], lacking in nothing.”

God wants to produce patience (fruit of the spirit) and endurance in us. Don’t be a wimp and crumble under trials. Trials will come. But rule over it with joy knowing God is with you and has the answers when we ask for His wisdom.

James 1:5 Amplified Bible

“If any of you is deficient in wisdom, let him ask of the giving God [Who gives] to everyone liberally and ungrudgingly, without reproaching or faultfinding, and it will be given him.”

This is how we are to respond in trials. Seek God for wisdom.

Often times we do quit the opposite. We try to acquire our happiness in false joy and end up giving up.

FALSE JOY

1.  Acquiring “things.”

I can have things and enjoy them, but if I don’t have them, I can still enjoy my life. We can desire things, but don’t lust after them. You can have things, but don’t allow things to have you. Lust steals your joy.

Hold everything loosely. Be a steward, not an owner. This is why giving our tithes and offerings are so important. If you can’t give it, then it has got you. That is why God will ask you to give up things that don’t make sense to you.

READ: 1 Tim. 6:6 – 12 

When we were born, we brought nothing into this world, and we can’t take anything out when we die.

My husband’s uncle passed away a few weeks ago. Ron and his brother and Mom and Dad went down to California to see after all the affairs and belongings his uncle had. His uncle had a passion for Nascar racing and throughout the years collected a huge miniature car collection. They lived in a double wide trailer and under the trailer was packed with this collection. They loaded a 20 foot U-Haul truck full of this collection and brought it up to Spokane to sale. It is amazing how we collect things, which brings us temporary happiness at the time, and end up not being able to take any of it with us when we die.

Things will not bring joy, it only brings momentary happiness at the time you purchase it and own it. I know of people who spend their time shopping and acquiring things to fill the void of not having joy.

Some people constantly are consumed with money. They want to get it, save it, or as soon as they get it, they want to spend it.

1 Timothy 6:10 NLT

“For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. And some people, craving money, have wandered from the true faith and pierced themselves with many sorrows.”

Any addiction other then God will only bring you false joy. It is temporary and will never last.

God loves to bless His kids, but if you have to have it to be happy, it is wrong.

If you can’t get happy in the valley, you won’t be happy on the mountain top. We say things like… “If this would happen I would be happy!” or “If I had this it would make my life happy.” This is all false Joy. Again, things and possessions are temporary. God, and who He is in our life is permanent.

2.  Surroundings

Your joy shouldn’t be based on your surroundings. Our environment changes constantly. One day we have a job, and the next, it is taken from us. One day you have a beautiful home, and the next a tornado took it away. Our surroundings do not determine our true joy.

Isaiah 54:10 NASB

“For the mountains may be removed and the hills may shake, But My lovingkindness will not be removed from you, And My covenant of peace will not be shaken,” Says the LORD who has compassion on you.”

Mountains have been shaken and removed, but the promises of God never were broken by any event.

We should be able to give it up and still be happy. Love God and enjoy things and your surroundings, but don’ ever let them get ahead of God.

Matthew Henry Commentary:  “Creature-confidences shall fail; but when our friends fail us, our God does not.” 

3.  Relationships

Basing your joy on people and what they do for you, or who they are in your life is false security. It is a false sense of happiness. It is not their job to keep you happy or content. We don’t want to be dependent on people but on God.

If we put all our hope in people, or a certain person, we will be disappointed. People will let us down. People are not perfect.

2 Timothy 4:16 – 17 ESV

“At my first defense no one came to stand by me, but all deserted me. May it not be charged against them! But the Lord stood by me and strengthened me, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. So I was rescued from the lion’s mouth.”

If we feel we can’t live without a certain person, we have our dependence on them instead of God.

Emotional or Co-Dependency towards an individual is a trap. Yes, people are God’s gift to us, but not to the point they take the place of God in our lives. What I mean is if they are the first thing you think of in the morning and the last thing you think of at night, chances are you are emotionally dependent on them. If you feel like you can’t breathe if you don’t talk to them, you are emotional dependent. Relationships should be healthy.

It is easy to place a person above God. After all they are there in the flesh. But we have to be careful, especially if you are a person who emotionally gets attached to people quickly. God wants that place.

It is time to get happy. It is time to walk in God’s joy He has already given you. Allow this fruit to develop in your life. Don’t prematurely pick this fruit thinking it is ripe. We do this by basing our happiness on people, places, and things.

WHAT BRINGS TRUE JOY?

1.  Salvation

Receiving the salvation God, provided through His Son Jesus Christ, changes our lives forever. We don’t have to spend eternity in Hell where there is torment and constant burning of our flesh. We are free from any bondage sin had on us to live in this world with freedom and joy. We are never alone because God is always with us. We are His. All this should bring joy.

Psalm 51:10 – 12 NKJV

“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me away form Your presence, and do not take Your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, and uphold me by Your generous Spirit.” 

Jesus rescued us. No matter what happens in this world, and in our life, we know who we are and where we will spend eternity after we die. We have a reason to get up in the morning because we are valuable and purchased with a great price. We are saved. Salvation is a precious gift that we should cherish every moment of our life. This brings a joy that no one can take away from us. Joy to the world the Lord has come!

2.  A grateful heart 

A grateful heart leads to a place of contentment and joy.

Proverbs 15:13 Amplified Bible

“A glad heart makes a cheerful countenance, but by sorrow of heart the spirit is broken.” 

Proverbs 15:15 Amplified Bible

“All the days of the desponding and afflicted are made evil [by anxious thoughts and forebodings], but he who has a glad heart has a continual feast [regardless of circumstances].”

Proverbs 17:22 Amplified Bible

“A happy heart is good medicine and a cheerful mind works healing, but a broken spirit dries up the bones.”

We have a choice to be thankful, which gives us a happy heart, or to choose to complain and be ungrateful. Having a grateful heart brings life and joy. Looking at all the bad instead of the good in your life will bring stress, torment, and weariness.

This may sound very simple and even childish, yet most people tend to look at the negative or bad instead of the positive or good in their life. God is good and He has done great things in all of us. Choose to set yourself free with joy and enjoy your life and what God has done for you.

3.  Trusting in God

We can trust God with every part of our life. He will show us the right direction we need to take. He will help us and give us wisdom for our everyday life.

Psalm 16:11 NKJV

“You will show me the path of life; In Your presence is fullness of joy; at Your right and are pleasures forevermore.”

This verse sums up. God will show us the right direction we are to take in life. He will be with us constantly, literally face to face. One encounter with God changes our lives forever. But in this case, we are with Him face to face on earth. We are His children and we can come boldly to Him like a child would their parent. No rejection. No fear.

The greatest part of this verse is, “in His presence is fullness of joy.” Not lacking anything. “It is totally full. Not partial joy; not imperfect joy; not joy intermingled with pain and sorrow; not joy which, though in itself real, does not satisfy the desires of the soul, as is the case with much of the happiness which we experience in this life – but joy, full, satisfying, unclouded, un-mingled with anything that would diminish its fulness or its brightness; joy that will not be diminished, as all earthly joys must be, by the feeling that it must soon come to an end.” (Albert Barnes notes on the Bible)

Acknowledging God and knowing He is with us and His presence is there makes us trust Him more and more. It empowers us to live our lives in boldness. It brings such a calm delight within us to know we are not alone.

Romans 15:13 NIV

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

Trusting in God fills us with joy and peace. It allows hope to overflow in us and brings such a reassurance that life is good and God is with us. The Holy Spirit fills us with this hope. Wow, what a powerful insight on trusting God!

There are so many verses in the Bible about trusting God and what happens when we do. In the book of Psalms alone you will find over 80 verses on trusting God. Take time to study the Bible on trusting God. It will embed joy deep inside of you that no one or nothing can take away.

Pain, sorrow, trials, and tribulations, are temporary, but Joy is ETERNAL. Happiness is Outside, but Joy is Inside

Allow the fruit of Joy to grow inside of you. Walk in this promise daily. The Joy of the Lord is your strength! (Nehemiah 8:10)

Your Sister,

Pastor Kris Belfils

www.krisbelfils.com

www.hopefellowshipspokane.com

www.krisbelfils.wordpress.com

 

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Peace Robbers (Part 2 of Pursue Peace)

It is hard to find peace in this chaotic world. So many things are pressing for our attention, time, and sanity. Once we have peace, we have to guard our peace at all cost. There are “Peace Robbers” out there that will steal our peace away from us if we let them.

This is a two part message. In part One; “Pursue Peace,” we found out how to get peace and now in part Two, we will see what robs our peace and how to protect it.

Peace Robbers

1.  Being Busy

Being busy is the biggest tool the enemy uses to rob us of our peace. Business makes you think you are doing good. Often being busy is where you wrap your identity in. Have you ever answered someone’s question; “How are you doing?” with “Keeping busy!” It is easy to fall into the trap of business. After all, we are usually productive and have good motives. Yet, being busy keeps us distracted from the true purpose for our life. God cannot bring you to your destiny if you are too busy with insignificant things, which you have chosen, to take up your time.

Not all the business is wrong or bad. We have to decipher between the pressing and the important. There is a difference. Most of the time the “pressing” wins out. We add so many extra things on our plate that we can’t even finish eating what was there before. Have you heard the expression: “Your eyes are bigger then your stomach?” This is a statement to show you want more then you can handle. Our stomach is only so big, but our eyes see more “good things” and grab it and place it on our plates thinking we can eat it all.

“Simple active work and spiritual activity are not the same thing. Active work can actually be the counterfeit of spiritual activity.”

Oswald Chambers

Utmost For His Highest

Being busy makes one look like they are accomplishing a lot, but in reality their spiritual life suffers. Even if what you are doing is for God, it is still “simple active work” compared to where your relationship is with God and cultivating that relationship. Spending time with Jesus, the Prince of Peace, allows us to be more like Him and His peace fills our hearts. It is imperative to grow in Christ. If we are too busy doing vague, thoughtless and foolish things, our relationship with God suffers.

Ephesians 5:14 – 17 (Amplified Bible)

“Look carefully then how you walk! Live purposefully and worthily and accurately, not as the unwise and witless, but as wise [sensible, intelligent people]. Making the very most of the time [buying up each opportunity], because the days are evil. Therefore do not be vague and thoughtless and foolish, but understanding and firmly grasping what the will of the Lord is.”

Do you find yourself tired all the time and never seem to get enough sleep. If you have ruled out anything physically wrong with you, chances are it is because of being busy.  Seriously, if you can’t “Be still and know that He is God (Psalm 46:10),” something is very wrong in your life.

You might be afraid to be still. Maybe there are issues in your heart you are afraid to look at or address. Maybe God is pricking your heart about something and if you slow down, you will have to look at them. Ask yourself; “Am I peaceful?” In other words, if these things are robbing you of your peace, then by all means address them and deal with them and stop ignoring the Elephant in your living room! You are waisting time by running into business to escape dealing with these tuff issues. You will be free and find your peace the moment you decide to stop running and start dealing. The enemy uses this weapon agains people every second of the day. The sad thing is people think they are “okay” or “have a handle on it” when in reality they are drowning in their business that will eventually kill them. Let go of being busy and grab ahold of God’s joyful peace.

If you are afraid of all your business being taken away, and it brings pain in your heart, this is a sign your identity is wrapped up in what you do, instead of who you are in Christ.   I know first hand how this feels. I always wanted to be busy in ministry. I couldn’t bear the thought of leaving a church without another position lined up for me to walk in. The busier I was, the more important I was feeling. I didn’t realize I was placing what I did before my relationship with God. It became my idol. Yes, ministry became my idol. You see even the good can become bad if it is placed wrong on our priority list.

Remember that everything is the Lord’s. The earth, and all that is in it is the Lord’s (1 Corinthians 10:26). The heavens, and the earth were made by the Lord (Psalm 115:15). Who are we to get wrapped up in the things of this earth to the point it takes our peace away? It all belongs to the Lord. We are just passing through. We are renters and eventually we will be moving out and moving into our mansion in heaven when God calls us home. Hold on loosely to the things of this world.

Proverbs 11:28 (Message)

“A life devoted to things is a dead life, a stump; a God-shaped life is a flourishing tree.” 

Being busy is a peace robber. Recognize it and make some changes in your life to let go of the things that really don’t matter, and to hold on to the truly important. Your family, friends, and even yourself, will be happy you did. Don’t settle for the “good” when you can have the best! It’s okay to say; “no” to protect your peace.

Proverbs 16:3 (Message)

“Humans are satisfied with whatever looks good; GOD probes for what is good.”

2.  Walking in the flesh

a.  Emotions – Our emotions can rob us of our peace. We can get ourselves all worked up over something or someone to the point we have no peace. Constantly thinking about, or even obsessing about something is not healthy. Having healthy emotions should be our goal. Allowing God to help us manage our emotions and applying His wisdom to them, will help bring peace back in our life.

Proverbs 15:15 (Message)

“A miserable heart means a miserable life; a cheerful heart fills the day with song.”

Proverbs 14:30 (NLT)

“A peaceful heart leads to a healthy body; jealousy is like cancer in the bones.”

Jealousy is like a cancer. Thinking, dwelling, and wanting what someone else has is a sin. It will corrupt your life and rob you of any peace. Jealousy is the opposite and an antonym of contentment. Contentment brings peace. Jealousy brings stress and strife. When someone is jealous, soon their actions will show it and others will see it. How you talk, and interact with others will be affected too. This is letting our emotions runaway with how we feel. It is walking in the flesh. I like how the Message Bible states that verse.

Proverbs 14:30 (Message)

“A sound mind makes for a robust body, but runaway emotions corrode the bones.”

Emotions are fickle. They come and go and often we can’t rely on them. Emotions are not good or bad, they just are. That is why we need a proper perspective on them. God gave us our emotions to enjoy and experience life. Jesus showed and experienced human emotions by weeping when Lazarus died, or by getting angry when in the temple and people were using it for exchanging money and buying and selling things. So to say emotions are wrong or bad, is not truth. But to rely on and express negative emotions to the point of hurting or affecting others is a battle of self-control. It is what we do with our emotions that affect our peace.

Proverbs 14:29 (Message)

“Slowness to anger makes for deep understanding; a quick-tempered person stockpiles stupidity.”

There are many emotions that rob us of our peace. The crime of uncontrolled anger vented towards someone or something is an instant peace robber. Believe it or not Self-pity is an emotion too and can rob us of our peace. Feeling sorry for yourself is trying to move forward by digging a whole underneath you. You will never go anywhere and end up in a big pit.

b.  Constantly being negative, critical or judgmental – Being critical often is an outward manifestation of an inward lack. We are feeling bad about ourselves or have low self-esteem and hate seeing others succeeding. Being judgmental is a sin. Pride is involved with judging others. Thinking you are better or could do better then they are doing.

It might just be that you don’t like a person and are critical of them and what they do or say. This peace robber happens all the time. The more you talk about another person, the more you condemn yourself. In reality we don’t see it that way, but we live in unrest and constant turmoil and don’t know why. When we judge others it will come back on us.

Matthew 7:1 – 5 (NLT)

“Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged. And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.”

Being a critical, negative, judgmental person will isolate you from others because they won’t want to be with you. They are afraid they will be the next topic of your gossip. Keep a guard on your tongue, this will keep a guard on your peace. Stop seeing the negative in life and in others. Negative people never reach their full potential. Critical people never enjoy life. Judgmental people will be judged with the same measure of judgment they give out. All of these people are robbed of their peace.

3.  Expectations 

a.  Expectations we put on people – Putting high expectations on others is a bondage builder. It puts people in bondage. They will never measure up to your standards and will fail in your eyes often. Yes, it is good to want the best for others, but not at the expense of someone always trying to please you. The only expectation we should have is in God and what He will do.

Psalm 62:5 (NKJV)

“My soul, wait silently for God alone, For my expectation is from Him.

Notice this verse states; “For my expectation is from Him.” We long for God to move. We have expectancy and it actually comes from God to us. He wants us to put our expectations in Him alone.

Psalm 145:15 (Message)

“All eyes are on you, expectant; you give them their meals on time.”

Are your expectations on God or man? When high expectations are placed on people and they are not met, stress comes to all parties, including ourselves. We can expect our friends, or our spouse, or our family to meet our needs. When they don’t, we get frustrated with them. It is not their job to meet our needs. Let people be themselves. God is the one who is more then enough for what we need.

Let go of high expectations you place on others so they can have peace and you can too.

b.  Expectations we put on ourselves – This is not easy to stop doing. We all expect more out of ourselves then we do others, especially if we are perfectionists. A perfectionist always feels they are never good enough, or that they never measure up. Their self-esteem is very low and they always feel there is something wrong with them. How do I know this? Because I have walked in those shoes a good portion of my life.

A perfectionist seldom has peace. Why would they after placing too high of expectations on themselves. They make goals and once they obtain them, they either feel it wasn’t done right, or they could have done a better job. Often times they reach a goal and never enjoy the reward because they placed higher expectations on themselves. Higher and higher the measuring rod goes for them to reach and they never really reach it because they push it higher. Give yourself a break. No one can live like that. Not only is there no peace in their lives, but no peace in their family, work, and anything they are connected with.

Let go of to high expectations on yourself. Allow God’s peace to flood your heart that you are acceptable just the way you are. It is okay to be yourself and being yourself brings peace and freedom.

4.  Unhealthy Relationships

If you fight low self-esteem, being a perfectionist, or feelings of inadequacy, chances are you pick unhealthy relationships with people that are not good for you. If it is not wrong people, then your relationships are extremely tense because of putting too high of expectations or expecting others to fulfill your needs. Co-dependency or emotional dependency comes when you are looking to others to meet your needs in stead of God. We can even be co-dependent on our friends or spouse. If you are placing people higher then God and your relationship with Him, chances are you are emotionally or co-dependent on them. This subject could stand alone in a book, but we don’t have time here. Mainly, I wanted to get your attention that unhealthy relationships can rob us of our peace, our time, our relationship with Christ, and so much more.

Hanging around the wrong crowd automatically puts you in unhealthy relationships. Their morals and standards might not be Biblical. They might not have any morals at all. We become who we hang around, so choose your friends wisely. Don’t allow your peace to be stolen by making a bad choice in a relationship. Ask God if you are questioning if you have unhealthy relationships, He will show you.

5.  Fear

a.  Fear of the unknown – Always worrying about tomorrow, or what is going to happen will put you in bondage and take away your peace. Remember the Prince of Peace holds your tomorrows. He knows what tomorrow will bring so it makes sense to rely on God every day. The good thing is that if you are a believer, we can rejoice that God is by our side. He is the One who fights our battles when we lean on Him. Remember that God loves you unconditionally. His love is perfect.

Perfect love cast out all fear, and this is the love God has for you.

1 John 4:18 (GW)

“No fear exists where his love is. Rather, perfect love gets rid of fear, because fear involves punishment. The person who lives in fear doesn’t have perfect love.”

If you live your life in fear of the unknown you will never have peace in your life.

b.  Fear of man – Always fearing what people think or what they are going to do is bondage. It prevents you from being free to live your life. You will never please everybody. I have come to this harsh reality. For years I tried to make people happy. I was a Worship Pastor for many years and tried to do the songs or hymns everybody wanted, but I still heard complaints. I finally got to the point I would pick songs that the Holy Spirit told me to bring into the congregation. Then, when someone had an issue with a song, I just told them to take it up with the Holy Spirit. Soon, people stopped gripping about what kind of worship I would lead.

I also was afraid of what people thought of me. I could never be “myself” thinking people wouldn’t like me. But trying to be someone I wasn’t put me in turmoil. Christ died for our freedom, this includes being free to be ourselves. There will always be people who will disagree with you and think bad thoughts about you. Like me, you need to get over yourself and over this issue. It will rob you of your peace and put you in a trap your entire life. Then you will look back on your life and wished you lived differently. Now is the time to recognize you have the fear of man and what they think, and to release it to God and allow Him to heal you of any insecurities and events in your past, so you can truly live your life to the fullest being free to be yourself.

c.  Fear of failure – Always being afraid of making a mistake is torment. No one is perfect, even a perfectionist. Failure is only failure if you stop and give up. How many Inventors, Scientists, Entertainers, Public Figures, and more, who kept going even after failing time after time, till one day they found the answer? There are many. Don’t give up, you could be one step from your breakthrough. Don’t be afraid to fail. Just get back up and dust yourself off, and try again.

There is a story about a man who was walking across the street and tripped and fell down. The next day one of his friends walked by and saw him. They asked, “Are you okay?”  He said, “I tripped and fell down yesterday.” His friend asked, “Are you hurt?” “Do you have any broken bones or internal injuries that prevents you from getting up?” The man said, “No.” “You don’t understand, I fell down and I can’t get up.”

This would never happen in real life. If you tripped and fell on the ground, you would quickly get back up and look back to see what made you trip and fall. Far too often people fail and think they can’t go on. Even before they attempt to do something new, they give up because they don’t want to fail. They are afraid they will look bad in front of people. This will rob you of your daily peace. “If only’s,” and “should of’s” will haunt you for the rest of your life. Let’s be a people who are not afraid to try something new. The worse thing that can happen is it didn’t work for that attempt. Tomorrow is a new day, and with God on your side, all things are possible.

Matthew 19:26 (ESV)

“But Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

Philippians 4:13 (NKJV)

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

6.  Self acceptance

a.  How do you see yourself? – I have notice often that most people really don’t like themselves. If we don’t get along with ourselves, we won’t get along with other people. When we reject ourselves, it may seem to us that others reject us as well. Relationships are a large part of our lives. How we feel about ourselves is a determining factor in our success in life and in relationships.

Our self-image is the inner picture we carry of ourselves. If what we see is not healthy and does not line up with Scripture, we will suffer from fear, insecurity and various types of misconceptions about ourselves.

People who are insecure about themselves suffer in their mind and emotions, as well as in their social and spiritual lives. I know as I have talked to many and have seen what their insecurities have done in their life. Also, I know as I myself have suffered in this area. Studying the Word of God and receiving His unconditional love and acceptance will bring healing to our life.

b.  God approves of you – God never intended for us to feel bad about ourselves. He wants us to know ourselves well and have self-acceptance. God approves of you, shouldn’t you approve of yourself?

Jeremiah 1:5 (Amplified)

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew and approved of you [as My chosen instrument]…”

Proverbs 23:7

“For as he thinks in his heart, so is he…”

What do you think about yourself? Where ever you go, there you are. You can leave the presence of friends, family, co-workers, but you can never leave yourself. When you go to bed, there you are with yourself. When you wake up in the morning, guess who is right there? You are! Do you like yourself? Start today accepting yourself. You cannot get away from who you are. If you struggle in liking yourself, ask God for help, after all He created you.

Genesis 1:31

“And God saw everything that He had made, and behold, it was very good (suitable, pleasant) and He approved it completely. And there was evening and there was morning, and a sixth day.”

Rejecting ourselves does not change us, it actually multiplies our problems. Acceptance causes us to face reality and then begin to deal with it. We cannot deal with anything as long as we are refusing to accept it or denying its reality.

Webster’s II New College Dictionary defines accept in part as: 1. To receive (something offered), esp. willingly. 2.  To admit to a group or place. 3.  a. To consider as usual, proper, or right. b. To consider as true.

Notice from this definition that acceptance involves the will. If we apply this definition to self-acceptance, we see that we can choose or not choose to accept our self. God is offering us the opportunity to accept our self as we are, but we have a free will and can refuse to do so if we so choose. We also see from this definition that when something is accepted, it is viewed as usual, proper or right.

People who reject themselves do so because they cannot see themselves as proper or right. They only see their flaws and weaknesses, not their beauty and strength. This is an unbalanced attitude, one that was probably instilled by authority figures in the past who majored on what was weak and wrong rather than on what was strong and right.

The word acceptance from the same dictionary is defined in part as “approval” and “agreement.” If we are having problems accepting ourselves as we are, we need to get into agreement with God that what He created is good – and that includes us.

Amos 3:3

“Do two walk together except they make an appointment and have agreed?

To walk with God, we must agree with God. He says He loves us and accepts us; therefore, if we agree with Him, we can no longer hate and reject ourselves. Self-Acceptance will bring peace, self-rejection will rob your peace from you.

7.  Not giving God Control

Many people struggle with this issue. They fight over having control of their life. Trying to make things happen or not happen in their own strength, and then get frustrated when things don’t go the way they want them too.

Not giving God control is a peace robber. If you have asked Jesus in your heart as Lord and Savior, that means you have made Him Lord of your life. Being Lord, means He has full reign in all areas.

Written from my journal July 12th, 2012: “There is a place in my love walk with God, a deep desire to please Him in every area of my life. I have to be pro-active and guard it. This love I have for God compels me to give you control. You see everything and know all. There is nothing I can hide from you, nor do I even want to. Having an open relationship for you to show me areas I need to lay down or change is what this Christian walk is all about. Why would I ever want to hide or prevent you to have total freedom in my life? This relationship is not like any other earthly one. My relationship with You is so precious and tender and stable. The fact that you would never leave me no matter what I do is truth that this relationship transcends all other relationships. I never want to allow my flesh or self-will to hurt my relationship with you, my loving God. I want to get to the point it grieves my spirit if ever I demand my way by not giving control.”

Giving God control doesn’t mean He will change you into something you don’t want to be, or do something you don’t want to do. Giving God control is saying, “Not my will, but yours be done.” Self-will is a peace robber when it comes to giving God control. It is not worth the struggle. To be truthful, the moment you give God control, you will find peace. You will say to yourself, “Why didn’t I do that a long time ago?”

Guarding your peace at all cost is vital to your Christian walk, and a healthy lifestyle. Don’t allow these []“Peace Robbers” to take away your peace. Be vigilant. Be alert! Be pro-active in who you are. Yielding to God’s correction and love is the only way for a peaceful life.

From one Peace Keeper to another,

Pastor Kris Belfils

www.krisbelfils.com

www.hopefellowshipspokane.com